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-> Interesting Discussions
okayletsgo
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 Mon, Sep 11 2023, 6:59 pm
To start off. I’m a firm believer in hashem. I’m going through a lot of stuff in life - just like everyone else - and the only thing that keeps me going is talking to hashem every day.
So this is not me not believing.
To the point. There are sometimes conversations - on here and elsewhere - where let’s say someone says something like “I’m on birth control now” and the genius of a women that has to show everyone how much of a believer she is says “hashem is in control”.
We ALL know that. Hashem gave us a choice of changing what’s bashert. If someone goes on birth control and it’s bashert for her a baby this year, she can change the basherta thing!! Of course not always you can change it and sometimes a “mistake” will happen and you’ll still become pregnant, but I hate these people that always talk about hashem and bashert.
Seriously!!! So should I stop doing treatments for infertility because so far it’s failing and when it’s gonna be “bashert” it’s anyway gonna happen??
Stop being so silly and saying hashem is in control. We all know that and we all believe that. And still we can do husshtadlus to change what’s bashert. Hashem gave us a bechira and we can choose. And yeah, ultimately he will be the one to decide what will happen but hishtadlus is hishtadlus
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lucky14
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Mon, Sep 11 2023, 7:04 pm
I think people say it to help themselves calm down and prevent stress and anxiety. It’s usually not helpful to hear from someone else when you are going through something difficult.
But yeah obviously keep trying to do what you can.
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Beauty123
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Mon, Sep 11 2023, 7:10 pm
| okayletsgo wrote: | To start off. I’m a firm believer in hashem. I’m going through a lot of stuff in life - just like everyone else - and the only thing that keeps me going is talking to hashem every day.
So this is not me not believing.
To the point. There are sometimes conversations - on here and elsewhere - where let’s say someone says something like “I’m on birth control now” and the genius of a women that has to show everyone how much of a believer she is says “hashem is in control”.
We ALL know that. Hashem gave us a choice of changing what’s bashert. If someone goes on birth control and it’s bashert for her a baby this year, she can change the basherta thing!! Of course not always you can change it and sometimes a “mistake” will happen and you’ll still become pregnant, but I hate these people that always talk about hashem and bashert.
Seriously!!! So should I stop doing treatments for infertility because so far it’s failing and when it’s gonna be “bashert” it’s anyway gonna happen??
Stop being so silly and saying hashem is in control. We all know that and we all believe that. And still we can do husshtadlus to change what’s bashert. Hashem gave us a bechira and we can choose. And yeah, ultimately he will be the one to decide what will happen but hishtadlus is hishtadlus |
Hashem is in control, nothing happens without him. He runs the world in nature. There’s hester panim and it seems like everything flows automatically but Hashem is behind it all. It’s not a contradiction.
Plus, we are required to do hishtadlus and have bitachon simultaneously. It’s a balance.
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SG18
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Mon, Sep 11 2023, 11:31 pm
I know this isn't the popular opinion, but from what I've learned and understand- our hishtadlut is to work on our emunah. Our bechirah is in choosing how we react to situations- how we have emunah with everything that's going on.
הכל בידי שמים, חוץ מיראת שמים
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Sep 11 2023, 11:58 pm
| okayletsgo wrote: | To start off. I’m a firm believer in hashem. I’m going through a lot of stuff in life - just like everyone else - and the only thing that keeps me going is talking to hashem every day.
So this is not me not believing.
To the point. There are sometimes conversations - on here and elsewhere - where let’s say someone says something like “I’m on birth control now” and the genius of a women that has to show everyone how much of a believer she is says “hashem is in control”.
We ALL know that. Hashem gave us a choice of changing what’s bashert. If someone goes on birth control and it’s bashert for her a baby this year, she can change the basherta thing!! Of course not always you can change it and sometimes a “mistake” will happen and you’ll still become pregnant, but I hate these people that always talk about hashem and bashert.
Seriously!!! So should I stop doing treatments for infertility because so far it’s failing and when it’s gonna be “bashert” it’s anyway gonna happen??
Stop being so silly and saying hashem is in control. We all know that and we all believe that. And still we can do husshtadlus to change what’s bashert. Hashem gave us a bechira and we can choose. And yeah, ultimately he will be the one to decide what will happen but hishtadlus is hishtadlus |
There are a few concepts, Bechira Chofshis ( loosely translated as free will) and Emunah in Hashem being in control (your words) and Bitachon that what we have is for our best. Obviously Hashem doesnt control us, only the situation. Hashem wants our histadlus of course. When people use that phrase they are trying to be comforting. I understand why it irks you. Please accept my personal apologies for having used the phrase. Intentions were good but since they hurt you, I am so sorry. No one has the right to hurt you.
Wishing you much hatzlocha with your efforts to have a child. I daven for you everyday even without knowing your name, Hashem knows who the tefilla is for. You should get what you are wishing for.
כתיבה וחתימה טובה
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