Baltimore: anything you don't like?

amother

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 12:18 pm

I am probably going to be moving to baltimore within the next year or two. I am warily excited. I see so many posts talking about how great of a place it is, etc... Is there anything that people DON'T like about this city?
I went there for two "pilot trips"-- but it was hard to get a feel of the whole place. like, what is my day-to-day life there going to be like?
Definetly worried about making friends. I have a cousin there (that's who we stayed with), but big deal--- I can't expect her to be my whole social life !

amother

Ballota

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

that's it? pizza and carpools?
the pizza - okay, that should be my worst problem!
carpool- yeah, that's going to be a challenge for me.
anything else?

I know we sound like a bunch of Stepford wives. But it's really great here.

Yes there is crime.

There is strong community achdus here. Just last night, there was an annual rabbi switch - rabbis switched shuls to give a drash for minyan. They do it every year. The schools cooperate, so you only have to apply for financial assistance ONCE and it goes to all schools (well, the biggest four, maybe more). The schools are community schools and are for the most part really good (there are always those who don't do well of course but the schools want to be your partner).

I'm from Chicago and I was really sad to read the current thread about Chicago neighborhoods - it was not like that when I lived there 25 years ago. Baltimore is not like that at all - we all live together here.

Yes, it takes time to adjust and to make friends. I've been here 10 years and did find that the old time Baltimore crowd tends to stick together (not always, not as a rule), and it's kind of hard to break in, especially to the PTA cliques. But there are more than enough of non-lifers here to welcome you.

The Nshei has a literal annual event to welcome newcomers and it's a huge crowd.

Our chessed orgs are top notch. I'm a chaverim dispatcher and I am inspired on a daily basis when I read the chat and take calls.

Housing - you can spend as little as 200k on a house (for those who say that's not possible, my across the street neighbor bought her house LAST YEAR for 175k and put 20k into fixing it up). You can spend as much as you'd like as well, but homes can be bought for very little if you know where to look.

The people who don't like it here are the ones who come here from NY/NJ and maintain that mindset and refuse to try to adapt. Those who drive back and forth with coolers for meat, those who will only shop in Lakewood - and they tend to move away a few years later.

Bh for this city.

amother

Ballota

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you are not a native to Baltimore, what was it like making friends? People have told me that it's a lot of men who learned in Ner Yisrael in the past, and if you didn't then it can be hard to break in. My husband is concerned about finding a chavrusa, a shul he likes, etc....

The Ner crowd is tough. But it's tiny compared to the rest of town! They also tend to be pretty transient and once they've outgrown Pickwick and can't get into Ner housing, they tend to move away.

amother

Cherry

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:25 pm

It's a very "medical" city. Covid taught us a lot about our leaders. In Baltimore, the rabbbonim were fierce masking and socially distancing proponents. Mandatory masking and socially distant outdoor minyanim may be your thing, but there was no room for leeway of independent thought if it wasn't. The local rabbbonim are all united, which is usually a good thing , but if you wanted to listen to different medical advice or just your own innate sense of right and wrong, you're quickly outside the camp. They have a stronghold over the klal, which until covid, we always thought it was only a good thing. This taught us what the other side of Rabbinic strongholds looks like. I find it pretty arrogant that the local doctors banded together to put out covid statements when they have no specific knowledge on these matters or even infectious diseases in general, but they wear white coats so I guess they are bosses over us. Statements by medical professionals including dentists, podiatrist, oncologists, opthalmologist. In this city, you better listen to conventional medical wisdom or the rabbonim or you are just michutz lamachaneh. It's definitely not a city known for independent thought.

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:27 pm

It's so funny, I clicked on this thread specifically to post "CARPOOLS!"

But I guess a few people got here first.

Can you give us an idea of where you're moving from and around how old you are? And maybe which area you're moving to? It's hard to know whether it's going to be easy or hard for you to make friends without more info.

Maybe for very young newlyweds living in Pickwick apartments, it's easier if your husband is in Ner Yisroel. But barring that, once you get past that very early stage or move out of the apartments, I honestly don't think it matters anymore.

If you're moving into a part of the community that's in a different stage than you are, it might be tough. Or if most of your neighbors are in a stage of life that they are very very busy, it can be tough. (I'm in that stage right now, B"H, with teens down to a baby, and have approximately 30 seconds a week available to be social...so friendships are not my priority right now.) But barring that, I think everyone is very welcoming here. And if you put forth the effort to be social, take part in community events, volunteer, etc., then I'd be very surprised if you didn't find a circle of friends relatively easily.

It's a really great place. There are some people who aren't my cup of tea here, but that would be true anywhere. The vast majority are just nice, normal people who have wholesome life goals. I like that about Baltimore.

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:31 pm

amother Cherry wrote:

I think this is because Baltimore is a "by the books" type place. Yashrus etc so they followed the medical advice. I don't agree with their covid advice but there is definitely room for disagreement. They didn't require covid vaccines in schools BH.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:48 pm

amother Cherry wrote:

No city did COVID perfectly, but the number of deaths in our community were minimal BH

It was beautiful to get a unified message from the vaad harabanim recommending community practices (ex no one should host guests for that first Pesach) and also be able to have a chashuv Rav to speak to about my personal circumstance and get guidance on how to proceed in that regard (yes, go to your parents for Pesach)

I’d say the downside to Baltimore is the pressure and gashmiyus standards that have creeped in from people moving into our community

amother

Mint

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

There are tons of shuls, and people are very friendly. My husband has had no trouble making friends and finding chavrusas. He didn't learn in Ner. I've also made lots of friends here.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 2:55 pm

I am a native Baltimorian, but my husband is not. We moved back about 12 1/2 years after getting married.

The hardest part here when I moved back is no school busing. It was a huge transition to go to carpooling. Also I moved from the tri-state area where everything was walking distance. Here you need a car for everything. There aren't so many parks to go to shabbos afternoon, but we also have bigger yards for the kids to play in.

It was definitely a transition to move here (even though I grew up here, but the city had changes so much in the years I was gone), but we absolutely love it here.

It is hard to break into the Ner chevra, but there are SOOOOOOO many other people here. My husband did not go to Ner. He isn't the type to have a ton of friends, but he has is few (of which some he went to yeshiva with and they moved here too). Even though I grew up here, many of my friends are not old time Baltimore. I met them in the neighborhood, through my kids (my kids friends' parents), or shul.

amother

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 3:01 pm

Quote:

There aren't so many parks to go to shabbos afternoon, but we also have bigger yards for the kids to play in.

.

This is a big deal for me!! Where I live there is a huge "park scene"-- meaning all the families who have any connection to any of the shuls in town (modern, yeshivish, whatever) come to the park on shabbos afternoon and everyone plays and all the parent socialize. It's going to be a big adjustment-- I'm thinking how am I going to have any social life without the park??? LOL

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 3:07 pm

Quote:

I live near Bnos Yisroel and kehal Chasidim and not too far from the Cross Country Middle school (currently under construction). All 3 are filled with kids shabbos afternoon, with a mix of yiddishkeit. Yes, I did have my "park friends" who I shmoozed with. But my kids often prefer playdates these days over going to the park....There are parks, just not a ton. Really will depend which area you plan to live in.
Beazer has a playground too and it seems like a popular place shabbos afternoons.

amother

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 4:31 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

Welcome to Baltimore in advance

I would advise you to see which shuls you’re interested in, and figure out housing afterwards.

Yeah, I really have no idea about shuls. I am going to kind of leave that to my husband. He went to a few different places last time we were in Baltimore. I think he liked one, but we didn't really like the neighborhood around it. There was another he was pareve about, and another he didn't like at all.

are there any "mini-development" neighborhoods, like there are in Lakewood? Like, rows of townhouses that are mostly frum?