What's ethical when getting a tuition break?

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 7:23 pm

We've always paid full tuition. We recently ran into some hard times and fell into what feels like a huge amount of debt. Bh life stabilized and we are paying off our debt slowly but surely. I've always hesitated to ask for a break because I don't feel right taking a break if I'm spending money on non-essentials.

We have cut back on our spending drastically but it's not enough and dh feels that we need to ask for a break until we get back on our feet. I'm hesitant cuz I feel like if we really tried we can technically try to cut back a bit more.

I want to hear outside opinions on what's ok to spend on besides basic housing, food etc expenses while getting a tuition break.

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 7:28 pm

I supply my tax returns, a ton of info like how much my vacations, insurance, utilities, cleaning help… cost and let them make a decision. I don’t lie or withhold any income information and I don’t feel guilty taking any break they’re willing to give me.

keym

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 7:30 pm

This is 100% community dependant.

I would say that as long as you're upfront and honest with the tuition committee everything is ethical.
If the tuition committee is ok with giving you a percentage reduced even knowing that you have x many hours a week cleaning help/ y food that you consider a luxury/ this vacation/ model car, whatever.
If you're upfront, it's ok

amother

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 9:16 pm

Thank you. I guess I should just apply and not overthink it. I feel like taking a tuition break means I'll feel guilty every time I spend a few dollars that aren't strictly necessary. I should just let it go.

amother

Linen

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 8:59 am

I feel bad, not guilty, that we get a tuition break but still might spend elsewhere. I might get my kids pizza from the store one night, but if we didn’t get a break, we wouldn’t even be able to buy the cheese to make it myself. Just an example. We live very simply, can’t even afford a car, but do splurge once in awhile.

amother

Honeysuckle

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 9:59 am

Besides for attending to school, kids need to grow up in a normal environment!
Nobody knows what goes on behind the door of your house.
If house is dysfunctional without cleaning lady, then you need a cleaning lady.
If every kid in the school get pizza once on a while, let your kids have pizza once in a while too!
Don't be extreme.
Don't spend on extravagant items. Don't withhold everything and give the feeling to your kids that they're dirt poor!

amother

Lilac

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 11:43 am

If they'll give you a discount, take it. And if you have extra money during the year you can give the school an extra donation

amother

Blushpink

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 11:50 am

amother Lilac wrote:

If they'll give you a discount, take it. And if you have extra money during the year you can give the school an extra donation

This. What I do is I provide a spreadsheet with all of my income and expenses , even extras .
I then let the tuition committee decide.
I also make it a goal to give donations to the school or sponsor things for the school as much as I can throughout the year .

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