If you have ND children with behavior issues...

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 7:57 am

Do you dread chol Hamoed or shul or leaving your house and being in public with your kids?

I really dread going places with my children. We deal with inappropriate comments, bad manners, meltdowns and fighting every time we go anywhere. I only have ND children and it really looks like I just have badly behaved children and I can't discipline them. It is a Chilul Hashem and I am so embarrassed.

Every time I hear someone talk about how nicely these kids or those kids behaved or what a kiddush hashem they made or how they acted in the sukkah....it goes on and on....my heart breaks.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I don't know I've tried every book and program out there. I so badly wish to have nachas from my children and build memories on chol Hamoed trips but my reality is that I wish we could just stay home. We can't. The kids need to get out.

PS thank you Hamaspik for renting out a place for chol Hamoed. It's the one time I can take my kids out and breathe.

amother

Broom

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:01 am

Yes! I love the hamaspik trips where no one judges you.

But really I don't care what others think about how my kids behave. I have no control over that. What I do have control over is my reaction. Even if you're in a non-jewish place, by reacting calmly and not hurting your child or shouting at him/her, just by that you're making a kiddush Hashem.

Stop worrying so much about what others think and just do your best. That's what we're here for.

amother

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:16 am

amother Broom wrote:

Explain how this works for you. What do you when they are acting rude, having meltdowns in public, saying mean things, not following rules....my kids do not listen to me at all. I have such anxiety and shame over this. You just don't care?

amother

Hyacinth

Mon, Oct 02 2023, 8:31 am

I have neurotypical kids and get stressed taking my kids out on chol hamoed. Schedules are off, late nights, terrible food choices make for grumpy kids. Fighting and meltdowns. Especially the ones under 6.
Not to diminish your very real experience, just wanted to share.