S/O Babies w/ Downs Syndrome

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 9:56 pm

This came up in two different threads today.

Do people nowadays really still give up their babies with down syndrome.
Can anyone please shed some insight?

I was a counselor many years ago for adults with special needs and I do remember that quite a few were adopted.

amother

Hyacinth

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 9:58 pm

Unfortunately in certain communities, yes. It's the saddest thing. And the reasons behind it are just as mysterious as the reasons for women not driving (I.e. they don't actually make any sense).

amother

Begonia

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 9:59 pm

amother Hyacinth wrote:

Unfortunately in certain communities, yes. It's the saddest thing. And the reasons behind it are just as mysterious as the reasons for women not driving (I.e. they don't actually make any sense).

In what communities does this happen? In America or abroad mostly?

flowerpower

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:00 pm

amother Hyacinth wrote:

Unfortunately in certain communities, yes. It's the saddest thing. And the reasons behind it are just as mysterious as the reasons for women not driving (I.e. they don't actually make any sense).

Don’t lump all chasidim together please. It’s very naive. Not all chasidim give away their ds babies at all.

amother

Bone

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:02 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Don’t lump all chasidim together please. It’s very naive. Not all chasidim give away their ds babies at all.

OP literally never even came CLOSE to “lumping all chassidim together”. She never even mentioned chassidim giving away babies at all. She said “in certain communities”. For some reason you chose to take her comparison to ladies not driving as implying that she was indicting all chassidim. That’s on you.

Einikel

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:07 pm

amother Bone wrote:

Sorry but I disagree. The fact that she compares it to women not driving is an obvious implication on chassidim.

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:10 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Don’t lump all chasidim together please. It’s very naive. Not all chasidim give away their ds babies at all.

PSA: babies WITH down syndrome!!!

flowerpower

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:16 pm

Einikel wrote:

Sorry but I disagree. The fact that she compares it to women not driving is an obvious implication on chassidim.

This.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:51 pm

I work as a social worker in a major NYC childrens hospital. In answer to the question to people still really do this? YES we see this all the time. Very very common.

Rubber Ducky

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:58 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

I work as a social worker in a major NYC childrens hospital. In answer to the question to people still really do this? YES we see this all the time. Very very common.

Specifically Chassidish Jewish people? Or all kinds of people?

amother

Bellflower

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:05 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

Yes (to the first)

Do they only give away their children to frum Jews or non Jewish families?

amother

Hyacinth

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:08 pm

Einikel wrote:

Sorry but I disagree. The fact that she compares it to women not driving is an obvious implication on chassidim.

1. It IS an implication for chassidim because no other frum community does it other than chassidim.
2. I SPECIFICALLY said SOME communities because I know that not all chassidish communities do it. Only certain ones do.

I'm just saying it how it is. I'm not sure if you want me to lie here. I specifically did not name which chassidish sects, although I generally know which ones.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:13 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

Do they only give away their children to frum Jews or non Jewish families?

I wouldn’t use the term ‘give away’ The term there more frequently used is ‘kinship foster care’ (to differentiate from typical foster care which is usually associated with ACS cases involving abuse or neglect) which indicates that it’s voluntary foster care within the community at large (there are a few agencies who assist families with finding foster care families) however biological parents typically retain parental rights and in some cases medical decision making too. As I’ve observed the children are cared for by other chassidish families (I can’t comment if they are of the same chasidus: I would have no way of knowing) though they may live in different communities.

amother

Apple

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:19 pm

I had the saddest story after I gave birth to one of my children. I was in the kimpeturin place affiliated with the sect that gives away, and they were talking by my table how a disabled child breaks the home and they should be given away. No one could have known about my sweet severely delayed 3 year old who I love so much. They were talking about disabled as if they were not people to be loved. I was so horrified. I cried and cried and asked hashem for help with her I felt it was an eis ratzon. and a few weeks later she got a diagnosis (thanks to imamother it’s a whole different story)

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:23 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

That may be the clinical term, however the term used in the community is "give away". That is how I've heard it referred to

amother

Bellflower

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:24 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

You are right, and also as a healthcare social worker, I should have known better.