I wear a shpitzel, AMA

imacoolmom

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:52 pm

OP, I had a close friend who was a typical JPF Flatbush type but she was struggling with having to cover her hair with a wig for years. One day she took it off for good and I’ll never forget how she was the talk of the neighborhood and people were so judgmental. So my question is in the chassidish world is stopping to wear a shpitzel ( or any head covering and “down grading”) similar to what I described with my friend?

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:07 pm

imacoolmom wrote:

I would assume that not. People would talk but I don’t think in a judgmental way, rather that she has guts etc.
You have to understand in our circles when you get married you have to cover your hair just like your mom does. And if someone changes (whether upgrading or downgrading) it’s a very very big deal.
Also the mothers take it very hard. The mothers here expect you to be just like them sadly.
But I think the younger generation of mothers are not like that anymore. I know I’m not

amother

Jasmine

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

Every single time when I put it on!
It’s another major downside of wearing a shpitzel. I tried slipping it on but it doesn’t work. It’s very loose and messy.
I think ten times before I leave my house.
Life is tough

You have my utmost respect!
My husband wants me to put on a shpitzel because he likes the eidel look, and where I live, it's the norm, so I won't be weird for putting it on. I have tried it on a few times. It requires significant time and effort to achieve a great bind.

So I find myself envious of those who wear it with such grace and pride, without having the nisoyen because it was expected of them to wear it.

amother

Latte

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:52 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

Just because we grew up with it doesnt mean it wasnt a nisayon for us. It was a tremendous nisayon for me to not go against my parents wishes and just put on a different headgear when I got married. I definitely cried inwardly (ok also for real). Only Hashem knows how hard this is/was.

amother

Latte

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok your definitely my sister. If not then my soul sister for sure.

amother

Jasmine

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:51 pm

amother Latte wrote:

I hear you loud and clear, and you're right. I shouldn't make assumptions based on my own point of view.

Gut yt all

amother

Cyclamen

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 12:43 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

You can definitely do it! It’s very nerve wracking before you change but once you do it it’s like a weight lifted off your shoulder. I know it sounds scary but everyone will know you did the right thing!

frizet

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 2:34 pm

amother Almond wrote:

OP, when wearing a shpitzal how do you manage with glasses or a mask ? since your ears are covered

I’m not OP and I don’t wear glasses, but with a mask it was very hard, either you put it on before you bind or you can put it around your head, if they had the bigger strings, it was difficult

amother

Jasmine

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 4:54 pm

amother Cyclamen wrote:

The binding part is real hard work, if you want to look good.

amother

Cyclamen

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 7:42 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

The binding part is real hard work, if you want to look good.

They have pretied tichels now. You can just slip them on

mommy2301

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 11:20 am

amother OP wrote:

Why are you on the internet?
And btw I once saw a couple the wife was wearing a long beautiful wig and her husband was staring at me Smile

me too...

I told my friend that maybe he would like it more if her wife put on a shpitzel lol

Genius

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 11:22 am

Men looking at women is completely unrelated to the wife’s choice of head covering. There is so much more to a woman than what’s growing out of her scalp (or not).

amother

Maize

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 1:51 pm

Would you believe me if I told you that I wear a longish shaitel, some would call me more to the shtaty side, and somehow my husband loves the shpitzel look, so much so that we actually own a shpitzel for the privacy of our home

brooklyn11211

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 2:07 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

I think the look is not to compare.

I agree that while its pretty similar its not to compare, especially the newer ways of binding

amother

Jasmine

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 3:18 pm

brooklyn11211 wrote:

I agree that while its pretty similar its not to compare, especially the newer ways of binding

What do you mean by the newer way of binding?

brooklyn11211

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 3:23 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

What do you mean by the newer way of binding?

There are newer ways of binding, depending on what fillers and how you actually bring it together, many younger ones have very loose etc, pre bind does not look as good, with the ironed lines Very Happy

amother

Latte

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 3:25 pm

brooklyn11211 wrote:

I absolutely agree.