For American women working with non-Jews

amother

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:00 am

What (if anything) have your coworkers said about what's going on in Israel?
I work in cybersecurity, which is connected to this situation, but none of my coworkers have said anything. We're all remote but meet and talk regularly. Honestly, I like it better this way - they know I'm religious, they know I've been to Israel, but I don't know their political leanings and backgrounds and the last thing I want is for there to be a political conversation about this.
If your coworkers talk to you about this, do you appreciate it? How have people approached this topic with you?

Highstrung

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:05 am

Not a word was mentioned . I prefer it that way. I don’t need their fake support . And I don’t want to hear their blatant hate either .

Last edited by Highstrung on Thu, Oct 12 2023, 10:32 am; edited 2 times in total

allthingsblue

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:06 am

I work with non Jews and only one person said anything

I would appreciate if more said something because this is not about politics. This is about anti semitism . Politics might be if a country bombed another country. Anti semitism is when animals torture Jewish babies children men and women in unspeakable - literally- ways, in a personal way, not just bombing from the air. Emotionally and physically. This is not politics. It’s anti semitism. If someone doesn’t say something to me, that’s because they’re not standing up against anti semitism.

Mayflower

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:17 am

Two close colleagues (both Moroccan) were very supportive and asked repeatedly how I'm doing.

My other colleagues didn't mention anything. I saw a few of them (left wing) posted pro Palestinian messages on social media ("condemning" hamas but at the same time stating that Israel has been oppressing Palestinians for 75 years). I haven't spoken to them, can't even look at them for the moment.

amother

Cornsilk

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:23 am

My mom (in the medical field) told me that her phone has been blowing up. People she works with, even people she previously worked with have all been expressing their solidarity and concern about me (who lives in Israel). Most of these people I've known or at least known of since I was kid so it's been very touching to hear.

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:23 am

Nobody has said anything. I don't think this is on a lot of people's radar and they may not connect it to me in that way or they may feel awkward commenting on it.

Also, we work remotely 3 of 5 days/week and everyone picks their own days, so I tend to only see people in online meetings scheduled for a specific purpose. There's not a lot of water cooler chitchat opportunity like there was before COVID when we went into the office every day.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:40 am

My daughters bus driver gave me a whole speech how he’s Ukrainian and it’s terrible that is real is having aggression just like Ukraine. And then wilt real anger in his voice he alleges that Russia is behind this too.

amother

Winterberry

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 9:54 am

I also work fully remote. My coworkers haven't said anything to me but I don't think they realize I'm Jewish even though I take off for every Jewish holiday. My husband works with a lot of Muslims who have always been extremely respectful towards him but no one at all has reached out to him or said anything, which really shocked me. The silence is defeaning.

amother

Brickred

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 10:15 am

I’ve gotten nothing too. I keep reminding myself that they might just not know what to say, or maybe they just want to stay respectful, but it hurts. I’ve been really struggling to focus with everything going on, all these awful stories, and the fear.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 10:24 am

My one frum colleague and I have each received a supportive message from non Jewish colleagues (that's 2 in an office of over 200) and silence from others, even ones with whom we work closely. I also received a very caring and supportive message from a Catholic friend who said she was praying for all of us.

Yesterday, the organization issued a somewhat bland statement in support. This is one of those places that employs very politically active people who are likely to have strong anti-Israel sentiment. I think they were trying not to stir up hatred. My colleague and I are trying hard to support each other and are keeping our opinions to ourselves (except in our discussions with each other). I think in addition to trying to avoid controversy, people may not realize that many American Jews deeply feel this pain in their gut and that we regard Israel as our homeland. To them, it's just a terrible thing happening far away and thus barely relevant beyond some head shaking.

amother

Amber

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 10:25 am

My nonjewish boss said she sends comfort and her thoughts are with me. She said that a different frum coworker had vented to her about the horrors in Israel, she didn’t hear about it before that. I really appreciated her acknowledging it. She apologized for bringing it up and reminding me about it but I told her it’s been on my mind constantly, she didn’t remind me about it because I can’t stop thinking about it.

Someone posted on our company chat a link to ways to support Jewish employees in this time. Two Muslims responded to her message saying that there’s a lot the media doesn’t include in their coverage and people shouldn’t think it’s so simple. I’m so desensitized to seeing this callous allowance of evil so it didn’t even fill me with that much pain, I was waiting for responses like those from the minute that I saw the post. My company is very liberal.

It is so heartbreaking that Hamas, these monsters who would kill all liberal Americans if they got a chance to, somehow got them on their side. Even after doing the absolutely horrific nightmarish things they did now. It’s like how Hitler convinced Germans that Jews were responsible for their bad economy following WW1.

Highstrung

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 10:31 am

Highstrung wrote:

Not a word was mentioned . I prefer it that way. I don’t need their fake support . And I don’t want to hear their blatant hate either .

.

Update: just had a meeting and my manager and his supervisor both brought it up to offer support and told us they can’t imagine what we are feeling right now and that they understand that it’s hard for us. (My other frum coworkers) . I mentioned that many people are upset that there is so much silence yet I understand it’s a very uncomfortable topic to talk about . My manager told me he didn’t say anything yet to me because he wanted to have the conversation face to face and that he realizes now after I spoke how important it is to say something rather than to be silent.
I explained that it’s not about politics but about us ourselves , as Jews we don’t feel safe , even on US soil. They know we have family and friends in E”Y and my manager who’s not Jewish said he has a uncle with family there and he knows his uncle is very worried. He admitted he never had to experience what we are experiencing so he will never be able to understand our feelings and our fear but if I ever want to talk about it he and others on my team are here to listen. He sounded sincere . But who knows.

Last edited by Highstrung on Thu, Oct 12 2023, 10:35 am; edited 2 times in total

amother

Molasses

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 11:17 am

A couple of colleagues who work closely with me said things like "I'm so sorry about what's going on, it's awful" etc etc.

The others haven't said anything, but also it's considered "politically incorrect" to make assumptions about one's nationality or religion, even if it's glaringly obvious. Yeah whatever.