2 month old using me as pacifier

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

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amother

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 12:02 pm

I caaaant anymore! But I tried like 5 types of pacifiers and he gags or rejects all of them. For a few weeks he was OK with soothies (not as a full replacement but it could hold him over sometimes) but he won't accept that at all now, he wants all breast all the time and I'm LOSING it!

Help. Is there a magic pacifier for kids like this?

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 12:06 pm

Keep trying. I didn’t and I ended up being a pacifier to a 6 month old with teeth. It hurt.

amother

NeonPurple

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 12:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s very age appropriate. My two year old still does that’s another story. I just keep thinking of all the babies who can’t right now.

SG18

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 2:21 pm

I nurse my babies on demand and don't feel like they're using me as a pacifier. I feed about every 2-3 hours. If they cry at other times, I hold them and cuddle, but I don't just nurse as the default soothing method if they aren't saying they're hungry.

Edited to add- I do nurse for comfort, but only if he's actually eating. Not just playing with my nipple because he's bored.

Last edited by SG18 on Fri, Oct 13 2023, 1:14 am; edited 1 time in total

Brit in Israel

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 2:35 pm

My daughter gagged over all the pacis besides the one I got from the hospital... if you are in Israel it's the clear Aristocrat ones.
Try find a short nippled paci if you haven't tried. She did end up gagging also once starting to eat solids.
Don't let her use you as a paci, it only gets worse and it's not practical, keep trying some babies only start taking pacis from a few month old

TheNeutralOne

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 2:38 pm

Babies don’t need pacifiers. Nursing serves many essential, non-nutritive purposes. If your two month old baby is asking to nurse, he needs something. Maybe he’s hungry, dysregulated, not feeling well, overtired, needs to reconnect to you….

octopus

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 2:56 pm

Its going to bring in your milk more. I think this is a growth spurt age.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 3:04 pm

Very normal. All my babies used me as a pacifier. It’s a good thing. Nursing for comfort is wonderful.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 3:08 pm

Babies use pacifiers instead of nursing, not nursing instead of pacifiers...

shaqued_almond

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 3:19 pm

Normal. Use the soothie in between feedings. Until they're 3 months old they'll nurse a lot to gain weight. Her frequent nursing makes sure to build your milk supply

amother

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 3:59 pm

It's lovely to say that non nutritive nursing and motherly bonding is a good thing but I literally can't function like this. I have other kids who need me and I need to get back to work and my back is breaking from holding him all the time (yes I've worked on better nursing posture but this is just too much)

I don't think it's about building milk supply because he's not really sucking. He'll suck a little maybe but mostly he's just chilling. But if I don't offer myself then he cries until I do - not every time, and I can hold him off for some time with rocking, walking, singing, etc, but it'll always come back to crying until I let him latch up.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 4:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s really hard and I know what it’s like as I have a lot of kids as well. Try to accommodate him as much as possible. It’s good for him, it’s comforting and gives him more milk. The stage will pass and if there is anything you can do to make it easier for yourself to give to him in this way I would try that.

amother

DarkOrange

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 4:07 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

Keep trying. I didn’t and I ended up being a pacifier to a 6 month old with teeth. It hurt.

I was for a 18 month old. It was hard but wonderful

octopus

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 5:01 pm

Or it could be he doesn't have a good latch and therefore not getting so much and therefore wants to constantly nurse. Had that with my oldest. Is he gaining weight well? Is he making clicking noises? Are you seeing his tongue while nursing. These are all no-nos.

amother

Thu, Oct 12 2023, 5:21 pm

He's nursing and gaining fine. He's also begging to just chill on my nipple not even drinking when he's tired or crabby or anything.

shaqued_almond

Fri, Oct 13 2023, 12:17 am

Have you tried baby-wearing? You could also try to have baby nap on his belly

mushkamothers

Fri, Oct 13 2023, 12:56 am

1. could be cluster feeding
2. if he rejects all pacifiers he could have a tongue or lip tie, I had a baby who nursed perfectly and was fat and gaining weight but literally couldn't take a pacifier or bottle and yup he has tongue ties and now as a toddler other oral issues are becoming clear (speech, function of mouth etc)
3. this could also mean his latch is bad YES even if he's gaining weight.

smss

Fri, Oct 13 2023, 12:58 am

Will he suck on a clean finger? In another month or two you might be able to teach him to suck his thumb

amother

Fri, Oct 13 2023, 1:38 am

I had him evaluated for tongue tie because he didn't nurse well at first and it seemed conclusively he didn't have it. He moves his tongue around fine.

He'll suck on a finger for a few seconds and then get annoyed to find out it isn't a breast.

Isn't cluster feeding and such supposed to be temporary? This feels like an always problem that's getting worse instead of better.

Since I started noticing how draining this is, I've been trying to encourage other ways of soothing and it sometimes works but it's still so hard and only calms him down for a little time before he starts whining to nurse again.

amother

Pumpkin

Fri, Oct 13 2023, 2:04 am

amother OP wrote:

He's nursing and gaining fine. He's also begging to just chill on my nipple not even drinking when he's tired or crabby or anything.

See bolded. How do you know that?

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