I panicked and took dd out of seminary

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling -> Seminary Info

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amother

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:43 am

She is bored at home and I regret it.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:44 am

Will the seminary take her back?
Can you enroll her in a college program? It's a few weeks into the Touro semester but they might still take her

amother

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:45 am

She wants to go back. Does it make sense to send her back this week?

Iymnok

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:47 am

Call the seminary.

amother

Forsythia

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:49 am

amother OP wrote:

She wants to go back. Does it make sense to send her back this week?

Yes.

amother

Hydrangea

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:54 am

Can she get a job? Go to college? Local sem?
What would she do next year?

amother

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 11:56 am

amother Forsythia wrote:

Yes.

They plan to go into Aza but United States moved more stuff to the north. Did The situation change for the better?

notshanarishona

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:02 pm

Personally once you brought her home, I would have her sub in a school or some other temporary job. Wait a week or two and see what happens.

amother

Bone

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

She wants to go back. Does it make sense to send her back this week?

I personally wouldn't. My daughter is coming back this week.
I completely understood she wouldn't have as productive time here as she has there, but she'll just have to occupy herself. I'm sure she'll be working, going to shiurim, and doing tons of chessed cause that's what was always busy with.
Help her to find a substitute or temporary job? Volunteering? Take driving classes?

amother

Bone

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

She is bored at home and I regret it.

If she were still there, you'd still be panicking. There's no easy solution.

amother

Charcoal

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:10 pm

You brought her home for a reason. Even if you decide to eventually send her back, don't regret your decision. War is unstable and unpredictable and you wanted her to be safe.
Now that she is home maybe wait it out another few weeks to see if the situation stablizes. There is still a lot of unknown.

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:12 pm

Ask a shaila.

It seems theres a different calculus to risk thats ok to go into a situation, verses a level that forces you to leave.

I have friends who have kids there that are staying but they are not sending other kids/ couples that intended to go now.

But others have sent their kids/couples just now.

But will you be able to handle having her there? Think that through honestly.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:14 pm

I think you made a smart decision. I would do the same. Some community colleges and CCNYs will allow students to start in January. Maybe she can get enrolled now for January and do some prep work to be extra-ready when classes start.

banana123

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:16 pm

If it were me* I'd wait another week and send her back depending on the situation as of next Tuesday or so. I think we will know more about what the war will look like by then. In the meantime you can look into whether it's possible to book a flexible ticket.

In the meantime she can find something productive to do at home.

I don't think the question should be how you, the mother, will deal with the situation. I think the question is whether your daughter will be safe, and whether she will experience trauma - the war may or may not traumatize her, depending on what she's exposed to.

*I live in Israel.

Last edited by banana123 on Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Salmon

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:16 pm

I hear you. My DD was in Sem 2019-2020. We brought her home for the year in March, between Purim and Pesach. (Her sem actually did not close and 11 girls stayed and finished out the year.) There is no easy or right answer.

amother

Peachpuff

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:18 pm

Please dont regret your decision, the situation is worsening and youll be a nervous wreck with her there. Help her find a job. As a mother you did the right thing, trying to protect her.

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:29 pm

amother Peachpuff wrote:

Please dont regret your decision, the situation is worsening and youll be a nervous wreck with her there. Help her find a job. As a mother you did the right thing, trying to protect her.

The situation is not worsening, or at least not yet. Davka it has calmed down, relatively speaking. We are still cleaning up from the massacre and ID'ing bodies and notifying families.But the rockets have slowed, the terrorists within Israel have mostly been caught, and life is slowly going back to normal.

Please tell me where you see that it is worse. Because there are rockets on the northern border? That's not unusual, unfortunately. If OP's DD was in seminary in the center of the country she should be fine.

Will it get worse later? I don't claim to be a prophet. But as of now, it's not worse.

Elfrida

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:32 pm

amother Buttercup wrote:

We are in a waiting period before the ground invasion. The south is still getting rockets on a more than daily basis. The north is very uncertain. For now it is quieter around Jerusalem. We can't count on it lasting.

amother

Glitter

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:48 pm

Ask a shaila. Do not make the decision yourself.

mommish613

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 12:56 pm

Op,

My daughter is still there- it’s challenging both ways and there is no right or wrong. I would not send her back just yet, wait till things calm down more and they can have some level of normalcy. I would insist she finds a job or a chessed opportunity to keep her busy.

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