Active son not managing out of school

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 7:38 am

My very active son struggles with an 8 hour school day. He has trouble focusing in class. You'd think being home for weeks would be great for him. I told him he doesn't have to go to the zooms as long as he keeps up with school work. But even that is hard.
And he is upset that all his friends watch movies despite us having to sign to the school that we won't show movies at home. I keep thinking that if I let him watch movies he'll just get even more addicted and unable to entertain himself or learn.
When he is with friends he is happy, but he doesn't have so many and they are sometimes busy.
Generally a sensitive child with short fuse and struggles on a regular day. Just now being home since before yom kippur is making it more intense.
Advice?

amother

DarkPurple

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 8:11 am

Hugs op - I'd say a no way to movies since then it becomes a thing and like you say addictive.

Over the years as I see the kids of my friends who allowed movies vs kids who didn't allow the kids that were allowed just needed it more and more. The ones that just said no - it's not an issue.

Just my two cents.

amother

Crystal

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 8:14 am

What about computer games that are learning focused like math, reading, typing? Also during corona we did a lot of learning videos on YouTube like how to draw, how to make paper airplanes etc.. so it’s not just sitting in front of a screen it’s actively doing something.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 8:30 am

How old is he?

Is there any way he can volunteer? If he has an outlet for the time that he is not in school, he might be more focused when he has to sit down. Make a proper schedule for him, each task should last about 20 minutes, a 3 minute break, not a long break when it's hard to go back to what he is doing.

Tell me a bit about his age, personality and things he like, and I can help you do a makeshift time table sketch for him.

shaqued_almond

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 8:49 am

He needs regular exercise and a schedule

amother

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 9:32 am

amother DarkPurple wrote:

This is exactly the chizuk I needed to stay strong in the stance

amother

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 9:35 am

amother Crystal wrote:

We did this in the corona, thinking my kids would improve their English reading, but it ended up being more like a game, more fighting over who's turn it is and who's watching who play, and just upended their ability to make themselves busy off screen. One thing I have been doing this time around is taking more breaks to be with the kids (both DH and I work full time in computers).

I guess I just feel guilty, as here I am on the computer myself, its such a great outlet and source of info.

amother

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 9:38 am

amother Scarlet wrote:

He likes building, climbing, drilling, dumpster diving, swimming in the local ma'ayan. He's that kid who makes the best lag baomer bonfire in town.

He is 11.

You are so nice to offer to make a timetable!!! I told him he has to finish being dressed, breakfast and davening by 9:30. He has a zoom at 11. Other than that no strict schedule. Morning seems harder than afternoon. He spends the afternoon out with friends and comes home at 8:30 for supper, bedtime story (yup!) and bed.

As for volunteering, he is very difficult to persuade to do anything. Very rigid ideas on what he can do.

I'm open to all suggestions and appreciate you all taking the time to respond.

amother

Tue, Oct 17 2023, 9:39 am

shaqued_almond wrote:

He needs regular exercise and a schedule

You are totally right. Maybe I should offer to take a walk with him. Or kick the ball in the yard.

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