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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Oct 22 2023, 8:04 pm
I'm so thankful for all I have, really I am. But I'm so so so tight financially, it hurts! And it's scary. I'm thinking a million times before each purchase...and I mean food. Never mind savings and paying off debt.
Can I just vent here???
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amother
Begonia
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 8:10 pm
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Sure, join the club. Behind on rent, every single bill is bouncing, I have to think five times every time I buy food (on a credit card that I paid off enough of to free up a few dollars to spend).
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amother
Almond
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 8:13 pm
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Yeah. Same. And I have a masters for what its worth. Cant afford rent or paying my CC bill.
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amother
Begonia
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 8:18 pm
Yup, and we're too rich to get medicaid or food stamps or heap. Hurray!
(Hashem will help. I hope soon, but He will help.)
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amother
Scarlet
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 8:19 pm
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 8:24 pm
| amother Begonia wrote: | Yup, and we're too rich to get medicaid or food stamps or heap. Hurray!
(Hashem will help. I hope soon, but He will help.) |
Obviously, same here. I've never felt so pinched. Gotta ramp up my bitachon.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 9:52 pm
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Does misery love company? It's good to know that I'm not alone but hard to see so many in the same matzav...
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amother
Almond
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:00 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Does misery love company? It's good to know that I'm not alone but hard to see so many in the same matzav... |
feel like im the only one like this because my friends are doing well and are still in kollel. my husband works (ish) and I work FT and we still dont make enough
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amother
Alyssum
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:05 pm
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:16 pm
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Can we give each other chizuk? This is a first for me and I'm trying not to panic. A neighbor asked me to chip in for a Simcha and uh...how do I say that I literally can't??
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amother
Alyssum
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:19 pm
The gifts are out of control. Every week for another niece or nephew. $25, $40, $70.
I don’t have the money. For a neighbor? I would say I wish I could contribute, hopefully next time.
For family gifts I can’t exactly say this.
I have a big expense I need to pay for tomorrow and I don’t know where the money is coming from. It’s several hundred dollars.
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amother
Moccasin
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:20 pm
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I’m in the same boat. It’s so crazy because dh makes close to 300 and we’re still not making it. Between tuition, mortgage, private therapies, food, clothing and shoes I don’t even have enough for Mikvah at the end of the month. I end up not fully paying for a service or a bill to pay for very basics. And I don’t buy any takeout, bakery, shop at the cheapest store, no name brands, do my own sheitels, no cleaning help, I can go on. Life has become unaffordable recently. I’m wondering if any other country or state is easier with parnossah at the end of the day homes may be cheaper in nj but u need 2 cars which means more insurance, gas, upkeep, bigger home which means bigger bills… so not any easier there
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:21 pm
| amother Alyssum wrote: | The gifts are out of control. Every week for another niece or nephew. $25, $40, $70.
I don’t have the money. For a neighbor? I would say I wish I could contribute, hopefully next time.
For family gifts I can’t exactly say this.
I have a big expense I need to pay for tomorrow and I don’t know where the money is coming from. It’s several hundred dollars. |
Gifts are a huge chunk. I so badly want to join but it hurts to send money that you desperately need. When 10 dollars feels like tooo much you know you're in trouble. I hate this karg feeling. It's not me at all.
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amother
Coral
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:22 pm
Ahhh, I feel at home on this thread.
The stress it causes is so tremendous. Everything revolves around money...
Now my DH is in excruciating toothe pain, needs a root canal, couldn't find appointments through insurance, now his face is blown up from an infection already. He could've had appointments immediately for cash but we can't afford it. So many such incidents, it's causing so much SB issues...
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amother
Emerald
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:22 pm
Same position. Both my husband and I work and he has his masters… very hard to make ends meet nowadays for so many families.
Wishing all those struggling much Parnassian and hatzlacha!
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amother
Burgundy
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:25 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Gifts are a huge chunk. I so badly want to join but it hurts to send money that you desperately need. When 10 dollars feels like tooo much you know you're in trouble. I hate this karg feeling. It's not me at all. |
Society tells us that "gifts" are a must and we can spend a minimum $5,000/year we don't have on gifts. Society and misguided social pressures are the culprit
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:28 pm
| amother Moccasin wrote: | | I’m in the same boat. It’s so crazy because dh makes close to 300 and we’re still not making it. Between tuition, mortgage, private therapies, food, clothing and shoes I don’t even have enough for Mikvah at the end of the month. I end up not fully paying for a service or a bill to pay for very basics. And I don’t buy any takeout, bakery, shop at the cheapest store, no name brands, do my own sheitels, no cleaning help, I can go on. Life has become unaffordable recently. I’m wondering if any other country or state is easier with parnossah at the end of the day homes may be cheaper in nj but u need 2 cars which means more insurance, gas, upkeep, bigger home which means bigger bills… so not any easier there |
Can I ask what your family size is?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:28 pm
| amother Moccasin wrote: | | I’m in the same boat. It’s so crazy because dh makes close to 300 and we’re still not making it. Between tuition, mortgage, private therapies, food, clothing and shoes I don’t even have enough for Mikvah at the end of the month. I end up not fully paying for a service or a bill to pay for very basics. And I don’t buy any takeout, bakery, shop at the cheapest store, no name brands, do my own sheitels, no cleaning help, I can go on. Life has become unaffordable recently. I’m wondering if any other country or state is easier with parnossah at the end of the day homes may be cheaper in nj but u need 2 cars which means more insurance, gas, upkeep, bigger home which means bigger bills… so not any easier there |
I make about half of that but recently my business has been slow and my expenses have been flying. I feel like I'm in a pit. Only Hashem can lift me out.
Can you relate to worrying about buying snack bags? Basic food? Paying your electric bill? How do I keep my anxiety in check and keep moving? Decisions are no longer. Is it worth buying or not? And the worst part is for all of my sacrifices, my wheels are still spinning. It's not called saving money if there's nothing to save!!
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amother
Maize
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:32 pm
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I am with you all it’s been rough especially the yomtov season not sure what will be now with camp/school applications chanuka coming up no end in sight except that Hashem has a plan and we have to rely on Him
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 22 2023, 10:33 pm
| amother Maize wrote: | | I am with you all it’s been rough especially the yomtov season not sure what will be now with camp/school applications chanuka coming up no end in sight except that Hashem has a plan and we have to rely on Him |
Can't even think about that. Literal knot in my stomach.
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