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-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:14 am
We have a close relative in Israel getting married the week after chanukah iyh. Putting aside the war, I would love to take my kids (we can afford it bh). It seems a waste not to go at least for the end of chanukah, since the kids are off then anyway. We could be there for 2 weeks and miss a week and a half of school. My husband doesn't want the kids to miss school and feels that if we do take them, it should be just for the wedding so they only miss 1 week.
Any thoughts about how important it is not to miss school or how much difference the extra half week is?
Kids are 10, 14 and 16 for reference.
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amother
Raspberry
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:15 am
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How hard is it to make up the work? Such a trip feels very special to me what’s the school culture
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amother
Orchid
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:16 am
I dont know what you should do but if you do go just for a few days, dont be like that double take in mishpacha 
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mha3484
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:17 am
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Every school is different in regards to how hard the make up work will be. Also every kid is different in regards to if they will fall behind or not. I think at those ages where they will really be leaving the house in a few years I see the value in spending time like that as a family but it still comes down to the fallout when they come back. Only you know that we cant.
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amother
Gladiolus
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:18 am
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Does the school allow then kids to miss so much school for travel? What's their policy? My kids school does not allow it, unless it's a siblings wedding.
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amother
Gladiolus
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:19 am
| amother Orchid wrote: | | I dont know what you should do but if you do go just for a few days, dont be like that double take in mishpacha |
This comment doesn't come in here.
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amother
Jean
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:19 am
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We did it. I’m so happy I did. It’s an experience of a lifetime. So it might be a little hard when they come back, but two weeks later everyone is back on track.
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mha3484
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:22 am
| amother Jean wrote: | | We did it. I’m so happy I did. It’s an experience of a lifetime. So it might be a little hard when they come back, but two weeks later everyone is back on track. |
I think this is very individual. I have a kid who could miss two years of school and be fine and another one who would really struggle to make up the missed work. I dont think its a good idea to assume it will all work out okay. Only the OP really knows her kids well enough to decide that.
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amother
Valerian
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:22 am
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I wouldn’t. That’s way way too long to be out imo
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amother
Brickred
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:24 am
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If you know in advance your kids will I'd bring it up w the teachers. Maybe they can give the kids the material to do?
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amother
Hydrangea
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:32 am
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My children run the gamut in terms of academic ability and I would go in a heartbeat. The kids who do well will make up the work with a small amount of effort. They'll copy someone's notes, they'll make up assignments, and maybe lose some points on the tests. The kids who struggle see bad marks all the time anyway, what difference does it make if they get a 60 instead of a 70? At least, they'll have an excuse to themselves, well of course I failed I was away for 2 weeks. And they will feel SO GOOD if they go away and they will learn so much from traveling and having different experiences. Especially for the struggling kids, its giving them a learning experience that they never get sitting in a classroom. In ten years' time, when you're all sitting around at a family sheva brachos iy'h and schmoozing, you'll laugh and remember those good times. Ain't no one remembering two boring weeks of school in the winter. This is a no-brainer. School is an important component of your children's learning, but this is a WAY more important experience. That said, I don't believe school is a drop-in center to use at one's convenience, but if you are a generally respectful parent who keeps to the guidelines, I see no reason why a school cannot understand that this is a trip of a lifetime. If you miss school every sukkos and pesach to go on exotic vacations, then no this whole post doesn't apply.
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amother
Snowflake
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:34 am
Such a trip will last a lifetime!
School is not their entire world. I would take them in a heartbeat and give them the time of their lives. They will never forget it
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amother
OP
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:34 am
Hmm. I think the youngest would be ok, the middle would have to work really hard but catch up and the oldest would struggle. I'm just not sure how much difference the extra half week makes.
I feel like my kids schools are very anything goes if you're going to Israel.
Thing is, this is not the trip of a lifetime. Bh, my kids have been to Israel several times, including last year. That's part of why my husband doesn't really want to take them, he feels they're getting spoiled. I have no problem cutting back on travel, I just don't feel like a Simcha is when we should cut back.
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amother
Orchid
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:35 am
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amother
Rose
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 10:38 am
Unless you're going to make the trip another time I say go and make the most of it.
School is important. But so is family, spending time together, making memories, and walking the streets of our ancestors. It can be an opportunity to make what they're learning come alive.
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amother
Winterberry
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 11:27 am
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You are planning a huge trip of touring during an active war? It very well be a moot point.
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amother
Peony
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 11:33 am
| amother Brickred wrote: | | If you know in advance your kids will I'd bring it up w the teachers. Maybe they can give the kids the material to do? |
Please don't expect the teacher to do this. I don't have everything ready to go 2 weeks ahead, and chances of your child actually doing it while away are so low. If you really want, send an email at the end of the week asking what we did that week.
More likely, be prepared to hire a tutor or work with your child every morning (jet lag, that's when they'll have energy) for a week to catch up.
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notshanarishona
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 11:36 am
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Personally I wouldn’t take a high schooler out of school for 2 weeks unless you are going to pay for private tutoring to catch her up. 2 weeks is enough to make a kid fail a semester if they aren’t a strong student.
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justforfun87
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 11:36 am
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I missed 2 weeks in Highschool visiting Israel. I can't remember what I missed but I certainly remember the wonderful trip. It may be a struggle to catch up at first but in the larger picture, they will turn out fine. Life experiences trump academia in my opinion.
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amother
Cerulean
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Mon, Oct 23 2023, 11:38 am
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We went as a family to Israel for 2 weeks when I was starting 9th grade. I went for the first 3 days of school and then we left. It was amazing and as a family, we talk about it and reminisce and discuss all the time and it's 20 years later and no one remembers the missed school or anything but it was the first time for most of us and the only time for a couple of my siblings as well so I guess it's a little different.
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