Are your big kids obsessed with your baby?

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 5:58 pm

Is it normal for an older sibling to be so obsessed with their younger sibling to the point where they literally will not do anything else other than follow baby around,play with, or feed baby bites of whatever they're eating (like even the actual activity of eating supper has to have baby involved) talk to baby etc until parent says ok enough. go do HW or go find another activity to do etc
I always imagined bigger siblings would be overjoyed to see baby when they get home from school play with, interact etc for 10 maybe 20 min and then move on to more age appropriate activities. Is there an emotional component involved when an older sibling has a complete obsession with baby sibling ? And uses baby to fill their time ?

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:08 pm

Totally normal if they don’t have loads of little sibs, usually when there’s always a baby the excitement wears off

amother

Copper

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:10 pm

My older kids were like that when I had a very large age gap between them and the baby. Then I had twins following the singleton. Yeah, that cured them real fast. LOL

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:12 pm

Yes and it’s amazing!!
My big kids are completely obsessed with my baby

As a side, I was completely obsessed with my younger siblings! There were only positives
Today I have really close relationships with those siblings

amother

Snapdragon

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:16 pm

My oldest was 9. She loves babies and doted on the baby. She still loves babies. My sister's oldest was 14 when his ssiter was born and was also crazy about her. She had 5 other kids at the time so a baby wasn't exciting, yet they bonded. They still have a great bond. I think it depends on the kid but oldest tend to love the baby.

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:36 pm

Bigger siblings that are obsessed are age 9 11 and 15 but specifically the 15 year old. We do also have a 3 and 5 year old. Baby is 1. So not sure as that qualifies as large gaps or not. And baby is over 1 so when does the obsession end ? Or is it normal and doesn't really end. I'm kind of concerned 15 year old is using baby to fill an emotional void.

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:46 pm

I don’t think it has to be a concern but you would know more with mothers intuition.
What do you think this emotional void might be about. Like what would it stem from. Think about it. And I’d work on that for it’s on sake.

BrisketBoss

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:52 pm

Why do you think playing with babies is not age appropriate? Don't big kids babysit?

All ages are drawn to babies. It's a human thing.

Last edited by BrisketBoss on Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Viola

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 6:58 pm

My oldest was 12 when my youngest was born and they have a very tight bond, and yes the oldest was obsessed while the youngest was a baby. Except when it was time to change a diaper, then he was curiously absent 😂 (to be clear, I never ever asked or expected him to change a diaper, it was just a running joke about how he was so obsessed, always wanting to help and do stuff for the baby, but ran away the second there was a whiff of something in the diaper lol)

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:26 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Totally normal if they don’t have loads of little sibs, usually when there’s always a baby the excitement wears off

Even without gaps, as long as the baby is not crying.....theyre obsessed!
When its crying maybe 5% of older siblings are interested. But every so often yoi have the big sib who likes the challenge. Usually a very nurturing type.

Even my on trend post sem girl still carts my baby off with her to her friends (in the neighborhood, not on drives) to the protests of my other kids. Her friends bring their tiny sibs here as well.

Baby retains its staus until age 4 or 5, depending on its personality (if gaps) or when younger sibs are born

amother

Plum

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is she worried about the baby?

belovedaz

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 8:56 pm

As long as she still has regular friends, reading time, helping time and does her hmwk, I wouldn't see a prob with her loving the baby to pieces. My 9 yo is always busy with my 1 yo- making her hair, playing dolls, teaching her new words and tricks... she's like a live doll.

amother

Bluebell

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 9:55 pm

Exactly what goes on in my house I would not worry since we had a very big break before baby came around

Counting my blessings to have extra sets of hands