Does everyone give presents?

bsimcharabba

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:02 pm

Does everyone give chanukah presents to their kids? I’m not asking from a financial standpoint… curious about hashkafa. Does anyone say it’s chukas hagoyim?
My husband mentioned that and it sounds interesting.
Chassidish?
Yeshivish?
I know modox does (or at least doesn’t have a problem with it)
Again, NOT talking financials here.

amother

Daisy

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:04 pm

bsimcharabba wrote:

Many yeshivish and chassidish ppl do have an issue with chukas hagoyim, many do not
They do gelt instead

amother

Teal

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:05 pm

We’re JPF/yeshivish and I’d say 95% of the people I know give Chanukah presents.

I do know someone who objects to giving gifts because of chukas hagoy so they give chanuka gelt-$ which the kids buy presents with… at the end of the day it’s the same thing (although the parents don’t have to come up with gift ideas).

But in a yeshivish school I’d guess 24/26 kids get chanuka presents.

amother

Magenta

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:09 pm

Every year after I buy the gifts I remember that really it should be glet. Maybe this year I’ll give gift certificates for the item.

amother

Lightcyan

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:09 pm

We don't. We're OOT yeshivish, I guess.

We give gelt, which has a mekor. Used to be a penny per year of their age (when they were too young to know what money was). Then moved up to a quarter per year (when my oldest was old enough to want to actually have enough to buy something with). Then moved up to a dollar, which I think is where we're at now. My oldest is a teen and would need it to be a decent amount of money to mean anything, which we're not giving.

My parents and in-laws are MO and give the kids presents. We don't stop them or say anything to the kids about it. They just know that we don't.

amother

Coral

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:09 pm

We keep it simple. Focus more on food. Donuts, latkes and gold coins. One gift per kid. My oldest is 12 for reference.

amother

Hydrangea

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:11 pm

Lubavitch- majority of people that I know do not.
Just Chanukah gelt
Exceptions would be gifts for teachers

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:11 pm

Yes, we have an issue with presents being given, definitely seems to be an inyan of Chukas Hagoyim.
A reasoning behind giving Chanukah gelt is Chanukah being from the same root word as "Chinich", and when giving gelt we are mechanech the children to take maaser and give Tzedakah from it. Totally defeats the point in that regard when giving presents.
(It's possible that the non jews giving presents at this time of the year is copied from us giving gelt)

bsimcharabba

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:13 pm

Oh wow - this is so interesting! Thanks everyone for your responses.

What is the standard amount of gelt to give?

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:14 pm

It's an opportunity to give my kids a gift!
Who cares If the non jews do it.
To my mind it's non jewish to tell them it's because they were good mabe.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:15 pm

Growing up we got $20 - 10 from my parents and 10 from my grandmother. Usually given the 5th night

amother

Tomato

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:15 pm

I'm yeshivish/JPF and don't give my kids presents or money. We do lots of fun chanukah activities.
My parents give me $20 to buy something for my kids, and my in laws usually give a small gift (from amazing savings/bingo) to each kid

amother

Tomato

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:16 pm

bsimcharabba wrote:

If you don’t give your kids presents, how do you explain it to them?

I dont explain it to them. They never asked for an explanation

bsimcharabba

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:17 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Growing up we got $20 - 10 from my parents and 10 from my grandmother. Usually given the 5th night

Any specific reason for 5th night?

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:20 pm

My in laws do presents before bar/bas mitzvah and gelt afterwards.

One of my uncles used to always give presents and then he stopped because he said it's chukas hagoy or wtvr. His kids were very upset . ..

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:21 pm

bsimcharabba wrote:

Any specific reason for 5th night?

I'm not sure. Maybe to do with more candles being lit than not?

amother

Cherry

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:24 pm

No gifts, only gelt. If we do happen to give a gift then we'll attribute it to a birthday party or mitzva chart reward