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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Resident_Owl_77
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 10:55 am
My 3.5yo doesn't love wearing his kippa, it's been an adjustment for him to get used to it. In the morning, when we're getting ready for school I ask him which one he wants to wear, I give him his options, and he almost always says "I don't want to wear it." Eventually, we settle on one, and I have no idea how long he wears it in school, but then when he comes home, he wants to take it off. I bought him a lot of cute ones that he helped pick out, and he sees his father wear one and other adults around him. So imamothers, how can I encourage him to wear one? I don't want him to see it as a burden and that I am forcing him to do it. We talk about Hashem and why it's important and special to wear one, but that doesn't seem to make a lasting difference. Any advice appreciated!
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amother
Lemonlime
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 10:58 am
It's very normal for kids that age to resist wearing it. Ask him if it feels uncomfortable on his head or he's worried about losing it in school. It might be a sensory thing, or you can offer to put a clip/bobby pin on so it'll stay on even when he plays.
If he's just plain refusing, maybe leave it alone for a little. He'll probably come around when he realizes that all his friends wear it and so do the "big boys" and grownups
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amother
Winterberry
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 11:09 am
I have a lot of boys and some loved to wear their yarmulke and some didn’t. I never made a big deal about it ever! 3.5 year olds are babies. It’s an arbitrary age of chinuch, and they are not obligated to wear a yarmulke then.
I don’t mention a thing, I don’t force. I’ll ask in the morning and if they say they don’t want to I’ll say, ok here here’s your yamulka for whenever you want it!
All of my boys wear yarmulkas now lol, not even a question
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keym
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 11:25 am
I never insisted that they wear it except Brochos.
I did encourage that they bring it with them.
Oh let's put the yarmulke next to the Lego.
Eventually it gets on the head
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Resident_Owl_77
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 11:29 am
Thanks everyone, so in short he's a normal little boy lol.
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amother
Camellia
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 12:49 pm
I have several boys, not one of them regularly wore a kippah at 3. By 5 they all got there.
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amother
Mulberry
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Thu, Nov 09 2023, 1:38 pm
The best way to encourage him is to leave him alone. Put it on him when he’s getting dressed. If you want keep one near the door and put it on him when you’re going out. If you daven with him, like saying shema or making a bracha, you can put one on his head then. Do it gently without saying anything. If he takes it off don’t pay attention. One of my boys loved wearing an old tie from dh. He looked kind of ridiculous but we let him. I used to combine knotting the tie for him when he asked me to with putting on his kippa so he’d look just like abba. Don’t stress. He’ll get used to it by the time he’s in first grade, probably sooner.
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