Help, baby will only sleep with me!

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 11:25 am

3 1/2 months old.
We were always partly Co sleeping. I didn't want him to get spoiled like my first kid did (it was pretty bad) so I made sure to put him to sleep in a bassinet at least once per sleep (like if he was taking a nap, I'd put him in there but if he woke up 5 min later and fell back asleep on me, sometimes I'd let him stay so I could get a little break and sometimes I'd put him back hoping he'll learn) He was usually but not always doing some good stretches of sleep there. Usually at some point during the night he'd end up staying in my bed because there's a limit to how many times I can survive getting up especially since his sleeps tended to be shorter in the bassinet.

Anyway maybe it's because I was sick for a week and didn't have the energy to keep transferring him, or maybe it's because he's getting more sensitive as he gets older (even when I'm holding him asleep, I can't just go anywhere and do anything like when he was a newborn. He's much more aware) but now he literally doesn't sleep without me! Even if I turn around to get a drink he starts waking up and not always very happily either (if he is happy, though, then he's definitely not going back to sleep!)

I feel like 3 months of bassinet training went down the drain and I don't know how to get back on track. I'm still recovering from being sick so I don't have energy for him to just not sleep until this is worked out. But I also don't want to dig this habit deeper if it's not too late. It feels too late.

This is not just a sleep problem...dh and I haven't been together long enough to do anything since he was born. We tried a few times but he doesn't stay asleep long enough without being snuggled. By me, not by a swaddle, which he is anyway strong enough to get out of already.

What now?

amother

Mauve

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 1:27 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

Does your baby roll over yet? Are you comfortable putting him on his stomach?

To be honest I don’t have great advice on how to get your baby to sleep out of your bed - my baby still won’t

But I’m terms of time for you and your husband maybe let the baby sleep in a swing during those times?

I second this. If he rolls over already, I would put him on his stomach. Once he gets used to it he will sleep much deeper.
3.5 months is usually too old for a swaddle. It’s not safe to put them in swaddles once they can break out of them or they start learning to turn over.

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 2:34 pm

I always put him on his stomach. He never stays asleep more than 10 seconds on his back. He has rolled over a couple of times but doesn't really know how, but he can pick up his head really well.

I don't have a swing but I have a bouncy seat... which he'll sleep in just long enough for us to start getting ideas and then wake up as soon as we get comfortable.

I did not try a zipper swaddle, just the velcro. But I think he's too big for any swaddle, he would be really upset to not have his hands.

Cosleeper crib is not going to solve this because he's only sleeping literally touching me. Like I said, I moved over a little to get a drink and that was the end of that night.

Right now he fell asleep on me and I would love to get stuff done during this nap but I'm sure it'll end as soon as I try... thinking of just taking a nap myself instead.

Rappel

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 3:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Regarding cosleeper: You can lie on the side of the bed, and he keeps physical contact with you.. You're next to him, with no risk of rolling on top of him. Voila!

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 3:35 pm

Rolling over on him was never my main concern - I'm breastfeeding, slender, and have no other risk factors for that. My problem is that I can't move or he doesn't sleep. Not to get anything done, not for self care, and not to spend time with dh. Only baby snuggles. Which are delicious but getting a bit much.

That nap earlier was a total bust. I shifted positions and he was up. But now he's cranky again so maybe he'll take the rest of the nap soon.

He goes to a babysitter a few hours most days and she usually has him nap in a stroller. I have no idea what kind of magic that is but it does show that something must be possible. My understanding is that it isn't healthy for them to do all their sleep in that position but it may well be better than nothing? But I'm not even sure I can make that happen at home. If he falls asleep now that's what I'm trying because I barely got a thing done all day and Sunday only comes once a week.