Time-blindness and transitioning- real help

amother

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 8:39 am

Please help me help dc with this. "Use an alarm" is not real help for us unless it includes how to stop something in the middle, how to deal with the "just one more minute", etc with something other than intrinsic motivation and willpower (or rewards, which don't seem to be enough.)

Dc needs a brain break between all mandated activities, especially homework. Fifteen minutes is inherently enough, but dc can't seem to transition out of it, plus is completely time blind, and that break become two hours. Dc is a teenager who has always been this way, but my continuous involvement doesn't cut it anymore.

What has worked for you or your kid?

amother

Molasses

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 9:01 am

A visual timer (the kind that shows a color getting smaller and smaller as time passes), and a reward to completing all tasks within the designated time frame.

amother

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 9:22 am

amother Molasses wrote:

A visual timer (the kind that shows a color getting smaller and smaller as time passes), and a reward to completing all tasks within the designated time frame.

Thanks. Unfortunately, we haven't been successful with the visual timer, as dc doesn't look at it, or glances and then quickly forgets.

With the reward for completing in time, how does that work when the kid has no ocncept of how much time has past until it's up or almost done? I would love tips on how you implement this. Imagine your dc has twenty minutes of homework they need to do withint the next full hour. They don't notice time until 55 minutes have passed, or until it's completely up, because they are focused on what they are doing. How to combat this? How do you get your kid (or you?) to actually look at the timer?

amother

Cerise

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:43 am

Giving a 5 minute warning, but with extra room for more time for the current activity. So if they need to do their 20 minute homework in 10 minutes time, then at 8 minutes, give a 5 minute warning, then a 3 minute etc. Or the timer beeps at the 5 minute warning mark, then again sooner etc.
But I will be honest, I don't know any magic solutions. DH really struggles with this and he's probably 3 decades older than your dc. Time blind is the perfect term as he really doesn't feel the passage of time and is always surprised when I say how long he was doing something, or how long I've been waiting.
What does your dc do during the brain break? Can you maybe have a specific activity that takes that amount of time-like if he did 'brain gym' or a specific routine or exercise that took 15 minutes to complete and had a clearly defined beginning and end, would he manage?

amother

Cognac

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 2:21 pm

I have time blindness also.

My smartwatch is so helpful. I set up a routine and estimated times for each things, and it vibrates + beeps to remind me to move on to the next thing. It reminds me again after a minute, 5 minutes, etc. so it's harder to get completely stuck.

I also find it helpful to set voice alarms, so it's not a beep or a ringtone, it's a voice saying "Time to finish up what you are doing."

What is he doing for the break? You may be able to teach him to insert preset stopping points. I.e. if he's reading a book, put a giant post-it 3 chapters in saying "break's over! time to go back to homework!" Or if he's building a lego model, put that post-it after step 10 or something.

If he listens to music while he's taking his break, try setting up 15-20 minute music playlists so that the music ends when it's time to go back to work.

I still do get stuck on things and not notice time passing, but not as often.

amother

Leaf

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 3:09 pm

I am time blind.

Liek others, I think that the activity he is doing during the brain break should have a discrete beginning and end. It's very hard to leave a book in the middle, but easier to finish the book and then put it down, for example. (I'm not saying he is reading, just an example.)