S/O babysitters | Imamother

amother

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 9:58 pm

If leaving a baby for 2 days in their own environment is going to cause life long tramau how does everyone justify sending 6 week old babies to babysitters? I'm assuming in their concept of time the mother is gone forever.

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:07 pm

I don't leave my kids at sitters they're not familiar with.
But, babies get used to routine & the schedule that they get dropped off in the morning, and picked up later. Even young babies realize this. It may be hard for them in the beginning, but they do get used to the routine.

amother

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:08 pm

amother Ballota wrote:

I do believe it’s a trauma and I don’t send to babysitters.

I respect that. I believe you are a minority unfortunately.

amother

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:09 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

OK but the first day it's a tramau the same way the first day the parents are on vacation is a tramau. And then by the next day they are back.

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

OK but the first day it's a tramau the same way the first day the parents are on vacation is a tramau. And then by the next day they are back.

I don't think the first day is a trauma for a newborn. It's not for 24 hours. It's for afew hours. Newborns don't get traumatized if someone other than their mother takes care of them for a couple of hours a day. A sitter caring for them for afew hours a day, is no different to the baby than a sibling or other relative caring for them for afew hours a day.

amother

Emerald

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:14 pm

I believe it's traumatic, but not because they are separated from me specifically for a few hours. Just because there is no one to attach to when a babysitter has a group to care for, and babies will inevitably have to cry daily and not have all their needs met. I hire a babysitter in my house, and her one and only job is to love and care for my baby. My babies attach to the babysitter from birth, similar to the way they attach to close family members, because she is a loving person who provides for all of their physical and emotional needs when I'm not home. I'm not going to pretend that it's the same as me being with my baby 24/7, but I also don't think it's traumatic to leave a bottle fed baby home with dh when I go away for two days.

amother

Peony

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:15 pm

The reason some people send is because they have no choice. We need to work to live lol

As far as I am aware there aren't adults with lasting trauma from being left as a newborn..I mean.. birth itself is traumatic but most of us recover. Very Happy

I love my children so so much and it's awful having to send them out so young (usually at around 8-10 weeks) but saying that the child will have a trauma from that is a drop overdoing it...

pknt

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

I respect that. I believe you are a minority unfortunately.

2 wrong don't make 1 right..
Being in the minority does not automatically imply wrongdoing; it underscores the importance of acknowledging diverse perspectives with equal validity.

Last edited by pknt on Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:23 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

Doesn't the same apply to a mother of a busy household, or several little children, and the baby inevitably has to cry a bit sometimes before their needs being met?

amother

Emerald

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:25 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

Doesn't the same apply to a mother of a busy household and the baby inevitably has to cry a bit sometimes before their needs being met?

I hope not. My babies don't cry for a minute at a time waiting for me to pick them up or start feeding.

amother

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:26 pm

amother Peony wrote:

I love my children so so much and it's awful having to send them out so young (usually at around 8-10 weeks) but saying that the child will have a trauma from that is a drop overdoing it...

I'm trying to figure out why there are such different reactions when it comes to the 2 scenarios. Trauma is trauma for the baby. He doesn't care if you are going to work or need a vacation. The end result is the same. Yet when you have a mom who is WAHM so she doesn't send her baby out and she wants to go away for 2 days and leave her baby in his familiar environment with loving siblings and grandparents the mob is out to get her.

amother

Ballota

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:27 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

Doesn't the same apply to a mother of a busy household, or several little children, and the baby inevitably has to cry a bit sometimes before their needs being met?

That’s why you are supposed to tend to a baby as soon as possible.
It’s really important as babies don’t have the ability to wait.

amother

Peony

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:40 pm

[quote="amother OP"]I'm trying to figure out why there are such different reactions when it comes to the 2 scenarios. Trauma is trauma for the baby. He doesn't care if you are going to work or need a vacation. The end result is the same. Yet when you have a mom who is WAHM so she doesn't send her baby out and she wants to go away for 2 days and leave her baby in his familiar environment with loving siblings and grandparents the mob is out to get her.[/quot

Aha. Got ya.. and I'm also curious because my babies went to babysitters bec I had no other options.. but I would never ever leave them like that for a vacation so little..

People are confusing lol

amother

Beige

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 11:10 pm

I'm curious if all these moms talking about trauma are sahms with the option of not having to work.
I don't have that option, I'm the main breadwinner in my household so I need to send my kids out. I do my hishtadlus, I try to find the warmest most loving sitter out there with the smallest group and then I daven for the baby to adjust well and be happy. I give loads of love when they get home and hope for the best.
I don't appreciate being guilt tripped over something that's not in my control. I wish I didn't have to send out, my kid is constantly on my mind, but we do what we gotta do.
I don't look to be separated from my kids if not necessary though.

amother

Marigold

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 11:18 pm

Everyone claiming “trauma” has very little clue what they’re actually talking about. As someone mentioned, birth is highly traumatic. Physically, entire organ systems have to start functioning differently. The baby is colonized with bacteria. They have to breathe. They have to eat. They have to regulate their temperature. Their whole body was compressed, bones possibly dented or broken. Capillaries exploding at the pressure. And mentally, thrown into an entirely new environment with no warning. And we call that trauma a wonderful miracle! We don’t talk about lasting psychological scars on the neonate.

Leaving your kid with a loving babysitter is totally fine. No “trauma” has ever been proven from it.