What do you find strange on Imamother?

Tao

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 8:29 pm

Always gets me intrigued when people ask random people on the internet a halachic question that should be directed to a rav, or a serious health or other issue that should be addressed to a doctor or therapist.
I've only ever posted asking for general advice about parve topics that I'm curious to hear other frum women's opinion. I would never ask a serious question on here.
I understand that some people don't have a strong support system, but do you really trust people you don't know with something so serious? I'm not bashing, I'm genuinely confused by this.
(I'm not talking about something like someone in abusive relationship who just wants a phone number for an organisation to help them, or something. I'm talking about getting life advice.)
Being brave and not posting anonymously, please be kind - I'm not trying to be nasty here. I can handle constructive criticism though if I'm being out of line.

NechaMom

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 8:31 pm

As far as health questions, I think most of them are asked out of desperation while waiting for a doctor. It’s not in place of a doctor.
As far as Halacha questions, I assume many of them think that while they don’t know the answer it’s possible that other women do. Not every question is a question for a rav. So they try their luck here. Imamother is more accessible than a rav for some.

writeread

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 8:42 pm

Because not everyone has someone else to speak to.

Many people are not privileged to have a wise mother, sister, friend or mentor. Numerous threads talk about this issue.

Good therapy is not accessible to everyone. Again, also the subject of multiple threads a year. Either because of financial constraints or the simple reality of not being able to find the right one.

Some people have a Rabbi they can reach easily who is also kind and patient. Many people don’t.

And see this thread re trusting doctors: https://www.imamother.com/foru.....22209

Tao

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 8:45 pm

writeread wrote:

I have seen all that said, I'm still wondering why random strangers are a good alternative though?

Unigala

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 8:48 pm

If the topic or question is a personal one.. could be the person asking would love to hear if other people have the same experience... But you can't ask anything in real life..

I think I've asked 'halachik' questions here and it was more for the companionship then the actual answer.. if that makes sense

zaq

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 9:19 pm

Tao wrote:

I have seen all that said, I'm still wondering why random strangers are a good alternative though?

They're not a good alternative, but for some people they may unfortunately be the only alternative.

emzod42

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 9:32 pm

I think it's weird when people ask things they can easily Google because I just Google everything. It can't be worth the time, so I just assume they have super filtered Internet with no access to Google.

octopus

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 9:34 pm

I've gotten a lot of good advice of what type of doctor to go to or even if someone went through the same medical thing as me or my kids. Imamother is an excellent option if you're not sure about a medical issue and some wonderful caring strangers can push someone to go see a doctor .sometimes people need an extra push.

b.chadash

Wed, Nov 29 2023, 9:42 pm

If it's basic halacha or a very specific halachic question, of course you need to ask a rav.

Sometimes the person poses the question as if they want halachic guidance but really they just want to process their thoughts.

And sometimes the person doesn't realize that this falls under the category of something that should be asked. That's when imamothers will point out to the OP that it's a halachic question.

But the biggest reason to post here, I think, is because it's interesting and enlightening to hear a variety of viewpoints, even if it's not specific to the shaila. Sometimes someone will post something that the OP would never have thought of which might actually be relevant to the question.

Cookie Monster

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 5:38 am

I find it interesting that people think Imamother is some super secret exclusive site, where things being said are private. Yes, it is very wrong for people to screen shot threads and share it to other social media platforms, but people seem to think Imamother is NOT a social media platform. This is the internet! As much as moderators try to keep only posters who belong here on here, that is not possible and people tend to forget that.

watergirl

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 8:20 am

emzod42 wrote:

Again, it's not for the information, it's for the camaraderie.

I find it strange when people ask a question on here that is location specific but don't post it in the location specific sub and assume we all know where they are referring to. When I joined the site, no location always meant Brooklyn, now it means Lakewood.

seeker

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:19 am

Tao wrote:

I have seen all that said, I'm still wondering why random strangers are a good alternative though?

Because it's a large group, and I can follow up.

I wouldn't trust one random stranger, but if a whole bunch of them have a consensus it gets more credible (e.g. "is it normal for my toddler to do xyz")

And re follow up, if I ask Google for an alternative remedy for something I'm not having luck with, it might only come up with the standard answers. But then some amother says yeah I also tried the standard things but then the only thing that really helped was vitamin x. Now I can go research vitamin x and find more credible info, but until I asked imamother I didn't know it existed.

socialbutterfly

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:43 am

How so many people run to the conclusion that someone's husband is cheating on her...

I don't live under a rock, but a)we don't know everything about this couple and b)is it really your place to say such a thing? These are serious accusations that can destroy the foundation of a marriage

Growing

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:43 am

Not something I find strange
Something I find oddly comforting
there is so much more that unites us than what divides us
IRL it seems like a huge chasm because of external differences
on here I realize all of us to a degree deal with similar insecurities hopes disappointments fears etc

ima_bima

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:45 am

I find the conspicious spending (or pressure to do so) odd. I live in a very simple community in EY where people brag about how little they spent, not how much lol

animeme

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 10:48 am

Re the OP- people do initial research here before going to the dr or rav. They want to know what options they can bring up, what their drs may not be mentioning, etc.

Weird on imamother? Bodekeses.

Last edited by animeme on Thu, Nov 30 2023, 1:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 11:09 am

ima_bima wrote:

I find the conspicious spending (or pressure to do so) odd. I live in a very simple community in EY where people brag about how little they spent, not how much lol

ITA
Any fool can spend tons of money on X but to accomplish something that is very fancy on a shoestring budget requires a proper working brain and really use it.

holylandgirl

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 12:20 pm

When people post questions about whether something is acceptable where the answer is going to vary hugely depending on which community you belong to. It's like they don't realise that not everyone is the same as them.