Scheduling for an overtired hyper baby and how to calm him

amother

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 8:56 am

My 9 month old gets tired for his afternoon nap at around 1:30, then wakes up 30 - 40 min later and won't go back to sleep. I want him to go to sleep at night between 6:30 - 7:30. If there's no more naps after he wakes up around 2, he's already tired by 6, but if there's another nap it happens at like 5 and then he's not tired till at least 8:30 or 9.

Second issue, many times he's already overtired when I'm trying to put him to sleep. I get that I'm not supposed to get to that point, but since many times I do because of the scheduling issue, any tips for how to get him calm in that state? I tried so many things:
I have a routine of bath, change clothes and diaper (in dark room), shema, I keep telling him that it's sleepy time, then he nurses until he's either done or he bites me so I stop, that calms him but not all the way to sleep, then I try softly singing and patting, but a few minutes later he bounces up and is ready for action. I rock him and he tolerates it for a minute and then squirms tries to get away. I lie with him in my bed and he climbs all over and pulls himself up to stand.
Should I persistently lay him down every time he stands? I tried that and he ends up getting frustrated and crying hysterically.
If I leave the room he cries hysterically.
Eventually I give up and lie in bed while he parties for an hour or so until we both conk out and there goes my night.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 9:09 am

What time does he wake up from his morning nap? If he's only sleeping 30-40 minutes in the afternoon I would guess you need to put him in a little later. If he wakes up don't try to put him back to sleep. As long as he's not really crying, leave him in the crib and see if he falls back asleep on his own.

I don't know any tricks to deal with overtired and hyper. I just do the same - lie in the room quietly and wait for him to fall asleep.

amother

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 9:17 am

amother Salmon wrote:

Do you follow wake windows? The chart in this page has really helped me--much easier to get them to sleep before they get overtired. https://www.preciouslittleslee.....rmal/

Thanks for the chart! I'll try to work with it.

amother

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 9:24 am

amother Cerise wrote:

He wakes up usually between 10 - 11. I tried to put him to sleep at 2 and he was way over tired, so yesterday I started at 1:30 and he fell asleep so easily 15 min later so I thought I hit the sweet spot. Then he woke up at 2:15.

He is really crying. He wakes up and stands up and cries until I come. I never tried leaving him crying for more than one or two minutes but since he's standing up I didn't think it would help.

amother

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 6:30 pm

Does anyone know - when he's bouncing off the walls should I just let him tire out on my bed in a dark room, or should I physically try to make his body calm like holding him down and making him lie down? Is it abusive to hold him down while he cries?

realtalk

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 6:37 pm

A 9mo should be taking 2 naps a day with ~3hr wake windows. That being said, a full sleep cycle at that age is 50min so it's very common for babies to not nap longer than that until you consolidate down to one nap when they're closer to a year old.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 7:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do not hold him down, please. Yes it's abusive. Let him bounce around in his crib.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 9:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

What happens if you hold him tight (like a human swaddle)? I used to do that with one of my kids to help her calm down.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Dec 04 2023, 10:57 pm

My preemie 1 year old has a 2 (now 2.5) hour wake window. He was an extremely difficult baby. He never slept. At 9 months I sleep trained him (baby sleep maven) and magically he started sleeping through the night. He/ me/ we only learnt the naps at 11 months. He's now 12 months old and gets very tired less than 2 hours after he wakes up. It took many weeks to figure out the right amount of time to be awake till he naps. If I let him go too long, or put him in too early- his naps are also 30-50 minutes long.
(He wakes up at 8:30/9, goes back in 11:30-1, naps 4-5, goes to sleep at 8) BH, Bli Ayin Hora.