Downsizing | Imamother

amother

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 8:12 pm

Long story short my in-laws bought us a house and are really regretting it. My husband and I have not been blessed with $. Anything we try fails. My husband has a minimal income job and anything I try falls through or backfires and I lose money.
We desperately need to move, maybe into a rental apartment, but those are also crazy expensive!
I currently have 5/8 kids living at home. I’m fine with the others sleeping on the floor when they come home for yom tov. Next year will be 4 out of the house. Any out of the box ideas? We live in the Midwest but open to moving to a cheaper community closer to east coast.
Anon in case my mil is on here. Sorry Mom.

ysydmom

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 8:23 pm

OP so sorry for your struggle

Can you use your talents and open a business using those talents ie. teach dance, music, art, sewing, cooking, baking, ballet etc.

Can you get a basic office job? either of you? it will be steady pay and if each of you gets one that can bring in significant income.

I think it's better to keep your house and figure out income otherwise you will then have to figure out rent and bills at least this way you don't need to worry about rent and bills.

Another idea, can you take in borders, rent out part of your house?

Make a store in your house and sell something like mens shirts, by the case plastic goods, giftware, judaica items, jewish books and cookbooks etc.

keep davening something will work out. I wouldn't give up a house not worth it. Rentals are very expensive and you will run out of money very quickly.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 9:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you open to the idea of a financial advisor? Some organizations offer free service.

amother

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 9:28 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Are you open to the idea of a financial advisor? Some organizations offer free service.

We’ve worked with financial advisors. Hasn’t been so helpful as we really don’t spend more than the required bills-utilities etc. food has become astronomical and food stamps went down.

So frustrating that we can’t just move to a hickstown with cheaper housing.

amother

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 9:29 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

Will your rent really be less than the mortgage? Rent these days is pretty crazy, just make sure before you actually sell. Sorry for what you're going thru

Thanks, yes frustrated that we can’t move to cheaper locations due to minyan etc.

amother

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 9:32 pm

ysydmom wrote:

My husband is working 3 jobs already. I’m home with the kids. Homeschool partly due to finances and lots of other reasons not relevant here. Any store I tried opening had zero success. I tried selling food but that flopped too. I’m great in the kitchen but for some reason anything I made to sell just didn’t come out good. My Hatzlacha for parnassah is just absent.
Waiting for mashiach.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Dec 06 2023, 10:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Would you consider working for a caterer?

amother

Cerise

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 7:07 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks, yes frustrated that we can’t move to cheaper locations due to minyan etc.

Dont know where you live, but plenty of minyanim in "cheaper locations ".

Want to be clear,
Im not saying you should move or substantially downsize with 8 kids. That sounds really really disruptive.

amother

Cyclamen

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 7:24 am

Unless you live in LA or somewhere with crazy high real estate I wouldn't necessarily move. And if you do decide to move, take the equity from the house and put it towards a cheaper house, don't rent. There are places like Cincinnati I think it was that has tuition vouchers and I'm assuming cheaper housing. But pls consider taking the house money to BUY a smaller house. Try to find something cheap enough that you can outright own it.
So sorry for what your going thru. May your miracle come this chanuka!

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 11:43 am

amother Cerise wrote:

Dont know where you live, but plenty of minyanim in "cheaper locations ".

Want to be clear,
Im not saying you should move or substantially downsize with 8 kids. That sounds really really disruptive.

Thanks. Would love to know where. Interest rates are insane. They bought us a considerably cheap house (less than 300k) but the mortgage is still close to 3k a month!

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 11:44 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Amen, thank you. Yes our house was under 300k. Why is everything in this world so expensive? It’s so frustrating!!

justforfun87

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 12:38 pm

To clarify it seems they didn't really buy you the house if your mortgage is 3k on a house under 300k. How much did they give you? Is the issue that you can't afford the payments or you don't want to be under foot?

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 10:50 pm

justforfun87 wrote:

They own the house and make the payments. But every so often my mil will moan about it. Yesterday she told me she can’t help us (with something I didn’t ask for nor would I have wanted her to help us with) a certain expense. She told me she’s already killing herself to pay our mortgage. Ouch. I don’t want to be a victim. If my parents were younger and could handle the noise I honestly would move into their house, there’s enough room.

Thank you all for the suggestions. I really appreciate it.

amother

IndianRed

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 11:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

So don't take anything more from them.
Allow them to keep paying for the home. Don't ask or even take anything else because you see it stresses them out.

fradiefraysie

Thu, Dec 07 2023, 11:28 pm

I'm confused. How will moving help when you aren't covering your housing costs now anyway?

I doubt you're going to find anywhere cheap enough to make it cost less overall if you have to start paying rent.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 1:32 am

amother OP wrote:

Getting help is not being a victim. I know it feels like it and I bet your MIL regrets what she said. Money is Hashems chesbonos. If He decreed you to be at the giving end of your in laws generosity, then thats his cheshbon. You have certainly done your hishtadlus.