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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Dolly Welsh
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 Thu, Dec 21 2023, 10:58 am
The room should be cool and dark. A warm room can make sleep hard. Consider room darkening curtains.
There should be a small fan somewhere, on a shelf, battery powered maybe. Stagnant still air is not good.
Put a runner carpet on the floor outside the room, to muffle passing footsteps.
The war rages between babies' sleeping on back or on stomach. I am no medic, but I vote for stomach sleeping, with the head turned to the side. To the opposite side of last time.
Do not over dress the baby. No blankets. No pillow. Keep his feet and hands in the open air, not covered. Just a diaper is fine. If he's cold, you'll know. He will look mottled blue-ish and cry. If he looks fine and seems happy, he's not cold.
I am for Nuk pacifiers.
Some don't like a pacifier, but it addresses the need to suck, which is not the same thing as the need for food or water.
A full baby may still need to suck. Even though he is full.
If you give him more milk, which he seems to be demanding, he may have pain from an over-filled stomach and cry. But he will continue to suck anyway. It is a powerful need.
So, give him a pacifier once he has a full stomach.
Then he gets both needs filled separately.
Then: "when the baby sleeps, you sleep," is the iron rule. No returning phone calls or reassuring friends you still like them, or anything at all. Down you go. ZZZZZZ
Mothers, like firemen, soldiers and surgeons, know how to fall asleep quickly on self-command and also how to wake up, fully alert not stretching and wondering, in seconds.
Then back down asleep, also in seconds. It is a learned skill.
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amother
Violet
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 11:21 am
From a FTM whose baby despises naps, is sleep training worth it? For those whose babies don't sleep well, have you done it and it didn't work?
ETA: what age are we talking about? Mine is 2.5 months, so still too young for sleep training.
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Dumbledore
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 11:34 am
👋 👋 👋 hi!
My baby is 10 months old and my night looks like this:
I put him down to sleep with a bottle even though I nurse so I know he's definitely not hungry. I have to rock his crib so he should fall asleep otherwise he screams his head off.
Wakes up 30 minutes later. Sometimes I rock him and he falls asleep sometimes I have to nurse him back to sleep
12 am waaa I nurse
3 am waaa I nurse
5 am waaa! I nurse and keep him in my bed because I can't keep dragging a 23 lb baby out of his crib so much
7 am waaaa! I nurse
7:30 sits up good morning mama!
Such a restful night! 
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ectomorph
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 11:35 am
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For my child, it was iron deficiency caused by lead poisoning. The child in question still requires prescription medication to sleep.
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amother
Skyblue
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:02 pm
I give bottles for this reason 
BH I never had to sleep train
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amother
Lightblue
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:12 pm
Hi, trying to sleep train for the 5th time or so. It keeps being interrupted by sickness and teething and whatever until I just bring baby to my bed so I can at least get some hours in....
Give me a bracha that this time will work, baby is already over one year.
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amother
Lightblue
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:18 pm
| Dolly Welsh wrote: | The room should be cool and dark. A warm room can make sleep hard. Consider room darkening curtains.
There should be a small fan somewhere, on a shelf, battery powered maybe. Stagnant still air is not good.
Put a runner carpet on the floor outside the room, to muffle passing footsteps.
The war rages between babies' sleeping on back or on stomach. I am no medic, but I vote for stomach sleeping, with the head turned to the side. To the opposite side of last time.
Do not over dress the baby. No blankets. No pillow. Keep his feet and hands in the open air, not covered. Just a diaper is fine. If he's cold, you'll know. He will look mottled blue-ish and cry. If he looks fine and seems happy, he's not cold.
I am for Nuk pacifiers.
Some don't like a pacifier, but it addresses the need to suck, which is not the same thing as the need for food or water.
A full baby may still need to suck. Even though he is full.
If you give him more milk, which he seems to be demanding, he may have pain from an over-filled stomach and cry. But he will continue to suck anyway. It is a powerful need.
So, give him a pacifier once he has a full stomach.
Then he gets both needs filled separately.
Then: "when the baby sleeps, you sleep," is the iron rule. No returning phone calls or reassuring friends you still like them, or anything at all. Down you go. ZZZZZZ
Mothers, like firemen, soldiers and surgeons, know how to fall asleep quickly on self-command and also how to wake up, fully alert not stretching and wondering, in seconds.
Then back down asleep, also in seconds. It is a learned skill. |
Many of these pointers are good. However these are not all universal advice. And they mostly address newborns.
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amother
Gold
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:22 pm
Hi!!! Mom of twins here too!!! My babies don't sleep through the night either. I wake up at least 4-6x a night between the two. Almost two years old. They wake eachother up I'm going nuts too. They do nap one 1.5-2 hour nap. Usually. Sometimes it's synchronized and sometimes it's not.  and sometimes there's no nap at all and they walk around cuckoo!!! But I can count on my hands the number of times they slept 5-6 hours without waking up at night.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:23 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I can't thank all of you enough for the validation I so desperately needed!
Wherever I go people are admonishing me for not teaching my twins to sleep better, and I needed to hear this.
I wish I could send each of you a highly caffeinated coffee as appreciation! |
HI
None of my babies slept like...well babies. My mantra was always l'fi tzaarah agraah, if Hashem wants us to be like Him (הנה לא ינום ולא יישן...) then so be it. He sent the refuah before the makah (coffee)...
However I didnt work outside the home so that was my job.
Wishing you much nachas from these healthy, demanding, adorable babies.
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tichellady
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:24 pm
| amother Violet wrote: | From a FTM whose baby despises naps, is sleep training worth it? For those whose babies don't sleep well, have you done it and it didn't work?
ETA: what age are we talking about? Mine is 2.5 months, so still too young for sleep training. |
I sleep train around 7 months and it’s worth it but I hate it. My husband has to be in charge because it’s too hard for me. I also nap train around that age and that is good and less hard for me. I like the book “ the happy sleeper”
I still nurse my kids at night while sleep training them so I am not sleeping through the night but I’m also not up every two hours
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the world's best mom
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:24 pm
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Hi! My baby sleeps if I hold her. She wakes up when I put her down and goes back to sleep on my shoulder when I pick her up. And she's 11 months old. I expected improvement long ago.
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 12:28 pm
Hi!
Worst part of it all is the nonexistent sympathy from others. And the useless advice.
“Why don’t you sleep train?” I tried it all to no avail.
“You spoil them too much” no. Ignoring them didn’t make them sleepier.
“I slept like a baby” you mean you slept a lot? Because to me that means I never slept.
“I put my babies on a schedule and it works like a charm”. How do you “put” a baby on anything? My baby is not a device. I’m ready to “put” mine up for adoption.
“Did you try Benadryl, Tylenol, melodrops, heroin, chiropractors, therapists, bananas mixed with rice?” I TRIED IT ALLLLL.
If I sound frustrated it’s because I’m sleep deprived. I want to sleep like a baby. But like a normal baby, not like mine!
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 1:46 pm
| amother Lavender wrote: | Hi!
Worst part of it all is the nonexistent sympathy from others. And the useless advice.
“Why don’t you sleep train?” I tried it all to no avail.
“You spoil them too much” no. Ignoring them didn’t make them sleepier.
“I slept like a baby” you mean you slept a lot? Because to me that means I never slept.
“I put my babies on a schedule and it works like a charm”. How do you “put” a baby on anything? My baby is not a device. I’m ready to “put” mine up for adoption.
“Did you try Benadryl, Tylenol, melodrops, heroin, chiropractors, therapists, bananas mixed with rice?” I TRIED IT ALLLLL.
If I sound frustrated it’s because I’m sleep deprived. I want to sleep like a baby. But like a normal baby, not like mine! |
Huge hugs,
I hated those who made me feel like a bad mother because I couldnt get my baby to sleep, as if they were more successful parents. The worst was my Mother who kept telling me how this one or that one had sleeping babies, as if it were my fault.
I held and rocked and rubbed and sang and soothed as long as they needed. I dropped the expectation that they have to sleep and accepted that this is my job until my kids are ready. May you enjoy much nachas ....
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amother
OP
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 2:24 pm
| Dumbledore wrote: | 👋 👋 👋 hi!
My baby is 10 months old and my night looks like this:
I put him down to sleep with a bottle even though I nurse so I know he's definitely not hungry. I have to rock his crib so he should fall asleep otherwise he screams his head off.
Wakes up 30 minutes later. Sometimes I rock him and he falls asleep sometimes I have to nurse him back to sleep
12 am waaa I nurse
3 am waaa I nurse
5 am waaa! I nurse and keep him in my bed because I can't keep dragging a 23 lb baby out of his crib so much
7 am waaaa! I nurse
7:30 sits up good morning mama!
Such a restful night! |
Thanks for sharing and making me feel validated, though I'm sorry you're dealing with this!!
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amother
Clear
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 2:36 pm
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Hi all! The good news is that my baby is 16 months old and sometimes sleeps through half the night now! It used to be up every hour, and it took a half hour to put him to sleep. Which is an improvement from 45 minutes to put him to sleep for a half hour nap.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 2:48 pm
| amother Skyblue wrote: | I give bottles for this reason
BH I never had to sleep train |
I give bottles too, and my babies look no different from the way my breastfed ones did, which only comes to show... that it's more genes than anything else
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amother
cornflower
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Thu, Dec 21 2023, 2:49 pm
I love playing with my baby at night!
She goes to sleep at ten Wales up every hour to nurse are 3 to 5 are playing time. We read books and play peekaboo!
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