Do you give timeouts?

amother

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:34 pm

See subject line.

If yes, please specify what age your children who you give timeouts to are.

Adding..

What do timeouts look like in your home?
For how long?
Is it a result of a negative behavior?
Are they in their room? Somewhere else?

amother

Clematis

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:35 pm

Not so much time out, but breathing time to cool off. I do it with them. Kids all ages 2-9

amother

RosePink

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:37 pm

My two year old started biting me. I put him down, count to ten and then pick him back up and give him a hug.

amother

Iris

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

See subject line.

If yes, please specify what age your children who you give timeouts to are.

Yes. But we don’t call it timeout
We just say “go to your room while you calm down”
It’s about giving space to calm down outside of the environment that’s getting the kid upset
For my littlest kids, like 2 years old, time-out means that I’ll sit with them on the steps or in another room till they stop being hysterical or throwing things etc
For my kids over 5, I send them to their room
It’s really not a punishment
It’s a logical thing

My oldest is 9 for the record

HonesttoGod

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:40 pm

I used to.
I quickly realized they don’t work.

Now I TAKE timeouts.
Either for myself or for both of us. It depends on the action they’re taking I’ll go WITH them to a quiet corner/room and sit with them.

amother

Glitter

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:44 pm

We call it “go calm down”. They get to chose where, either their room, basement playroom, my room, outside if the weather is nice. They can come back when they’re ready or I give them the salt timers and they come out when it’s done. (I let them chose the length of time, the different colors represent the different times.)
BH it works really well. It is essentially “time out” but it feels less punitive and I let them control most of it. I also ask them if they want to take a book or game with them or something to do. But it is mandatory that they go when I tell them it’s needed.

mha3484

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 4:46 pm

We have calm down time where the kid who is obviously having a hard time being around others can re group and try again. Its not a punishment more an opportunity to take a break and start over.

Kids are 3-13.

amother

Smokey

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 5:05 pm

amother Iris wrote:

What if they say I will come out...

amother

Cherry

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 5:35 pm

It's not an official time out. But if certain red lines are crossed they need to go to their room to calm down and think about what they did wrong and we then discuss it. Things I've sent for are hurting a sibling and lying. Once in a while I send for general out of control behavior.

amother

Maroon

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 6:36 pm

If a child, of any age, is hurting or irritating/annoying others, disruptive at a meal.... I tell them to go to a different room & listen to music or read a book till they calm down & can be around people again.
If a child is through a tantrum & won't stop, I pick them up & put them on their bed & let them tantrum it out in bed.
It's not time-out. It's needing to be away from other people to calm down.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:36 pm

How do all of your kids listen and go so nicely? My kids don't want to go out of the room to calm down...

amother

Bellflower

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 9:00 pm

Yes for 4 yr old. It works rlly well for him. He needs that time to cool off and take a moment. The others I tell them to head to their room or a quiet corner in the house and read or color for few minutes then we regroup.

teachkids

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 9:13 pm

If a kid is hitting I take baby and go into a different room and close the door and hold it closed "I don't want to be with you if you're hitting me. Hit the door as much as you want and when all your hits are out let me know and I'll open to door and let you in."

amother

NeonBlue

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 9:28 pm

Yes for hurting.

I learnt this from my therapist and combined it with the knowledge of Dr Becky.

-the timeout is with me or DH and we go together into the room
-it is for the amount of minutes coresponding to their age
- I sit against the door and I say "Mommy loves you you are a good kid having a hard time" There is a way we act in this house we don't use hands to hurt.- This is mostly for my DFK dd
-I remain calm the whole time (easier said than done)