"Expenses increase as kids get bigger"

amother

Firethorn

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 3:06 pm

Tuition becomes more expensive.
Camp comes into the picture.
Tznius clothes are more expensive, even when you don't buy them at Jewish stores.
Tights become more expensive.
Bikes become more expensive.
Food becomes more expensive.
Haircare becomes more expensive (forget about hair removal).
Toiletries and beauty care.
School projects become more expensive.
Keeping them busy on Sundays and off days becomes even more expensive.
Chol Hamoed trips become more expensive when the kids' world expands.
Tutors and therapists are sometimes needed.
School supplies become more expensive (scientific calculators).
High school becomes even more expensive!
School fees become even more expensive.
School shabbatons.
HS college classes are offered.

I won't even start with seminary, college and weddings, by the time they're adults ka"h.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 3:06 pm

Clothing is a big one. Little kids can wear hand-me-downs and Tottini clearance and Kidichic, and if it isn't a perfect fit no big deal. Teens need well-fitting clothing because they are more self-conscious. They are often much more particular about color and style. Boys need suits and hats and specific styles of shoes and coats.

Food is also significant. Bigger kids eat more. You can watch your grocery budget double when teens (especially teen boys) come home.

Older kids often need more spending money. They are going out with friends, they want to do an activity, they are chipping in to buy a gift for a classmate. They need specific shampoo for their hair, they need a deodorant with a specific scent, they need to wax their legs or buy a yearbook ad.

Teen camps are very expensive, and even staying home for the summer with a teen is a lot. You can't just go to the playground anymore.

If your teen starts to drive, expect your car insurance to double or triple.

Tuition in high schools are much higher than in elementary.

I love my teens dearly, and I think mine are much lower maintenance than most, but they are still very expensive.

imaima

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 3:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hear this phrase a lot on this site. I can anyone be more specific? I can think of weddings, bar mitzvah, seminary...but I'm curious what else people are referring to

Clothing and shoes in larger sizes costs more. You cannot hand me down because difference in fit more prominent in older kids.

Kids care about what they wear - you cannot buy the cheapest things.

Schools are more expensive.

Ema of 5

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 3:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hear this phrase a lot on this site. I can anyone be more specific? I can think of weddings, bar mitzvah, seminary...but I'm curious what else people are referring to

Tuition gets higher (in most places)
The cost of the things they want get higher
Camps (even day camps) get higher
They eat more real food
Clothing costs more

mha3484

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 3:35 pm

I have a few under 9 and 13 year old.

My 13 year old is in mens shoes, mens clothing. Hat, jacket, more drying cleaning needed. All of this costs way more then what I spend on my kids under 9.

When he gets to mesivta, no guarantee he gets in locally as much as I want so that is a whole new level of tuition if he has to dorm.

Camp is another one. Sleep away camp is way more expensive then day camp.

He eats a ton.

Isnt entertained by cheap stuff like when he was little.

Busybee5

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 5:13 pm

Tuition!! I live in England. Through the roof with our oldest. Next year we have it even crazier because our 2nd son will be going to yeshiva iyH (we can't claim childcare back for him anymore either) and 3rd son to high school where fees are very very expensive. Honestly I'm a bit worried but Hashem will continue to help.
In between all of this we're saving for bar mitzvah's. We're onto our 3rd knH (in a year and a half) big kids , especially boys eat much more, need more proper meat and chicken. Boys are way way more expensive than girls. Then there are the younger kids to pay for etc. Their clothes also cost a small fortune, and they want every in thing in site. So it's definitely very true !

We don't have savings for weddings at this point and it does worry me a bit.

Last edited by Busybee5 on Wed, Dec 27 2023, 5:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

Busybee5

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 5:18 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

Oh yes and don't get me started about all their trips with friends, eating out etc . It all adds up really fast. In fact they all play football at least once a week including dh so that's a chunk gone just from that!
Then there are school trips. ..

amother

Electricblue

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 7:07 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

Sorry to burst your bubble, but have very low roofs in England - unless you send him to the States!
Boys eat more, but girls have more clothing and accessories costs. Additional tutors, therapy, after-school activities are applicable to both. Barmitzvas cost for boys, but weddings cost more for girls (at least where I live). Yeshivas are more than high school, but then Seminary makes up for that!

amother

Firethorn

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 7:15 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

What do you consider expensive tuition in England? Here in Brooklyn HS starts at $13,000.

Busybee5

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 7:21 pm

amother Firethorn wrote:

What do you consider expensive tuition in England? Here in Brooklyn HS starts at $13,000.

1k a month is a lot for anyone living in England. That's what we need to pay for one child. Ask anyone here, they'll tell you that's a lot. Non negotiable,we have to pay up.
Hate to burst your bubble but seminary is for a couple of years (we don't send to Israel) then the girls earn their own money, and can spend on a lot of their own extras. Boys don't get that luxury, plus you're not paying tuition for girls from a certain age. But for boys it's years and years of it (we hope!) up until they get married at least. In the meantime they've not been working like their sisters have. It's quite clear that boys are more expensive,I don't get how people don't see this! Maybe it's only here in England. Weddings are one off costs, and they're huge on both sides. So you need to buy 2 sheitels?! That's only 4 months tuition for one of my son's! Sheesh. You can't compare! Boys also need accessories, and shoes to wear etc.

Eta: all this without even mentioning their bar mitzvah's which cost a lot each, but again these are one off costs. I'm talking about the monthly tuition that we need to pay.

And about the clothing, my oldest son is by far the most expensive when it comes to clothing, and I spend a pretty penny on my one little daughter. Again, you can't compare. Her tuition is never going to be anywhere near 1k a month.

amother

Sunflower

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 7:31 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

I don't know that older boys clothes is cheaper than girls. I just spent $350 on ONE suit for my teen age son. And it was the cheapest suit we could find. I didnt add shirts, belts, ties and yarmulkes... coats, shoes and hats. Shoes start at $120, but are more like $160 a pair nowadays... and they need at least three. Shabbos, weekday, sneakers and crocs.

Seminary is one year, post high school yeshiva in my neck of the woods is at least five years. And its expensive.

Weddings are pretty equally divided... when you add bar mitzvah expenses it comes out more, I think.

Boys yeshiva tuition is consistently more from age 5, they often need expensive tutoring, and unlike girls, they don't work. Hair bands and ribbons dont even add up to the difference in tuition... sorry I'm not convinced.