Seminary Tuition - Help! Will I get a partial scholarship??

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:28 am

DD really wants to go to Israel next year. I spoke to people and asked over the last few years how much it actually cost them out of pocket.
So a chinuch family said after all the grants, etc. it cost him 2k (!!!) while middle class families all said closer to 30k including all extra expenses - tickets, supplies, etc. This is a huge stretch for us, but we were hoping that with Hashem's help it would work out.
Just - ouch. The applications we got are asking for almost 30k tuition!!! That means our total out of pocket will be closer to 40k???!!! How do people do this?
I did fill out the scholarship request, but our income is 300k annually. To be honest, after massive taxes, maaser, tuition, health insurance + high medical expenses, camp... we barely break even. I know that people here will start yelling at me that we must be overspending in a huge way to have such a large income and still struggle, but, um, no. If you saw how we live - in a tiny house (that is falling apart, but we can't afford to fix it up), drive cars that are 10-15 years old, dress very simply, do not go on expensive vacations, hardly ever eat out...really, if you get no help at all, it costs that much for a family to live!!!! I don't even send my kids to daycamp the whole summer, only one half, because it is just too expensive.
I thank Hashem every day that we have enough $$ to pay our bills and we are not in debt. But lower-income people tend to believe that anyone earning over 150k must be well off. They cannot fathom the expenses that come along with being in a higher income bracket. I am so nervous that the seminaries will look at it that way and turn down my scholarship application. Even though we really need it!!!!!
Can anyone in a similar situation comment if the seminaries did/did not give a partial scholarship?
Thank you

amother

Green

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:37 am

Some seminaries don't give scholarships at all. I know people who only allow their daughters to apply to sems that will work with you and give discounts.

Also, it's a bit late in the game for this, but your daughter should have been working to earn her own money for seminary. My parents made it clear to me that they would cover tuition but I would need to cover everything else-flights, health insurance, cell phone, spending money. They did give me a small budget for shopping before seminary but I needed to come up with the rest. I started working in 8th grade to pay for seminary

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:41 am

We BH have similar income but were given a partial scholarship for seminary after I explained that we are high income but also have high expenses (close to $100K tuition for all our kids, etc). They called it a merit-based scholarship and I think the seminary tuition was lowered to a little under $25K (this was a few years ago). There were certainly additional expenses (airfare--but only round trip--DD did not come home for Pesach, cell phone, health insurance, etc) but we also had DD pay for certain things (eg spending money while in seminary) and I know there are people who even have the girl pay for airfare.

Definitely not cheap, but DD's sem broke it down to tuition +room/board, and honestly tuition was similar to what we paid for her in high school.... And my son's local Mesivta tuition (including dorming and meals) is pretty close to $20K....

Good luck!

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:42 am

amother Green wrote:

DD will cover her own spending money. She has been working and saving over the last few summers for this.

amother

NeonPink

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:15 am

amother OP wrote:

Op. Im in the exact same situation. Same salary pre tax. Old house. Kitchen literally from 1970 when my house was built. Cars that are 16 and 18 years old.... I need my money for taxes, medical coverage, and tuition!
(Except both of us work full time so we have to send to day camp the full summer and then fret about the in between days).

My high school says they do not help or know anything about fundng but were not encouraging about getting me more than a few k off.

Dd#1 sent to a school that really wanted her and gave me a very reasonable tuition. (Aka academic scholarship).

Dd #2 sent to a new sem, but already gaining traction, they only gave me a few k off. Maybe a couple k more than another sem would.

Yes, this means not going to your dream sem that you "deserve" to go to. I spoke about this w dds from a young age. They understood.

Going into 12th and sem I encouraged my dds to work jobs rhat are not as fun as camp counselor but pay 4x the $$$. They used that for spending money and had left over.

Hotzlocha!

amother

Ecru

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:26 am

amother OP wrote:

Yup, isn't that amazing? PELL/FAFSA grants of 11-17k depending on the seminary + klei kodesh scholarship, adirei hatorah scholarship, probably MASA...I didn't ask exact details of grants they received.

As my accountant said, a typical lakewood family needs to make under 80k or over 400k. anywhere in the middle and they will be struggling.

I don't think making under 80k actually works out much of the time. Sure they can get school scholarships, very discounted insurance, food programs and other free stuff.

But what if the boiler breaks? What if the roof needs to be replaced? What if I'h they are making a simcha when even a very low end chasunah will require many thousands. What about helping young married children start off. What about helping them buy a house? I think under 80k is barely surviving.

amother

Crocus

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Im not sure I believe that part.
The lowest I ever heard was $5000 for a very good girl in a brand new seminary. They wanted a nice group of girls to start it off.
I've never heard of people ending up with a $2000 bill.
In order to apply to TTI and get FAFSA you need to pay $1500!!
Only a select few seminaries accept MASA... if you chose your seminary depending on the final bill maybe you can get it for $2000 but I'm very doubtful!

amother

Tan

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:40 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

amother tan, I think so so many agree with you but somehow...

I KNOW so many agree with me, because ive heard it so many times.
But everyone thinks theyre the only one, so they push themsleves beyond what theyre capable of, out of some crazy fear of not doing whats the norm.
This is insane.
It needs to become more accepted not to go to sem in EY. Go for a month or two, see the land, have amazing tour guides etc. Much cheaper.

Why is it normal for me to hear of middle class people taking out large loans for their girls' sem? The stress they put themselves under...enough!

Chayalle

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

You have to be pretty low-income Klei Kodesh to get those grants, and with that, I haven't heard of anyone going for 2K. Closer to 10K more or less is more like it.

We're a Kollel family. We didn't qualify for any such grants. My daughters so far did not go to EY for seminary.

I have a relative whose child went to EY for seminary for pretty low $$, but she is not from a Klei Kodesh family at all - but rather a working struggling family pretty near the poverty line. I'll just leave it at that. Even the money they did have to pay was raised for her, or she would not have been able to go.

Chayalle

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:55 pm

amother Tan wrote:

My DD's went for two weeks with their local seminary.
I think what's not accepted is saying no to your kids when there's something you can't afford. Other than that, staying local is pretty accepted. Didn't hurt my DD's shidduch in the slightest BH.

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

We are in the exact same boat. Pay full for everything and end up in worse financial situation.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:59 pm

amother Tan wrote:

OP I know middle class families go into debt for this.
I think its ridiculous.
Why cant we send our girls to EY for 8 weeks during the summer, and then have then stay home the next year?
Is seminary THAT important? It's really that critical for every girl, that every girl must go?
It makes no sense.
Our elementary and highschool education has only improved over the years, yet years ago it wasnt a "thing" for every girl to go to sem, and they still did fine

I agree with you in theory BUT I believe that if a child asks for something which is "normal" in her circles then it is a parent's responsibility to provide it, not to say we can't afford it. This coming from someone who DOES live frugally and DD is very cost conscious and doesn't ask for a lot. But it is accepted that most girls go to sem (for better or for worse) so as a parent it's my responsibility to provide that for my child. Somehow, in these situations, Hashem always worked it out even when I was so nervous and just wanted to say "no" to my kids.
I do know someone who paid for half her sem herself (that was the only way she could go) but many yrs later she still feels hurt (although she would never tell her parents) that her parents did not meet her very "normal" needs.
Not saying every girl would feel this way, but it is normal for girls to earn their own spending money, so that is what we told DD she had to contribute.
But aaarghhh!!! It's just soooo much money!!!! And I have a bunch of girls bH!!!!
Hashem will help Smile