What areas/skills would you suggest (teen boy)?

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 11:34 am

I have a 16yo DS who for whatever reason has a few spare hours a day in which he basically wastes time. I’d love him to do a short course in something online but it’s hard to come up with something he’s interested in.

Here’s the kicker: I’m pretty sure he has inattentive ADHD. He’s lethargic, short attention span, not an academic learner. It seems any task that becomes too complicated for him he shuts down. He’s shy, not much confidence, and has grand plans of becoming a millionaire but without wanting to do the work Banging head

His “hobbies” (if you can call it that) revolve around following sports. He doesn’t really have any interests that we can pinpoint (and neither can he).

Do you have any subjects that you would suggest he look into? I would think bookkeeping would be an idea but he’s so resistant to the idea of taking an exam in an external setting it’s actually ridiculous.

When I suggested video editing he thought it sounded interesting but honestly, does he sound like someone who could take to a creative pursuit like that? Any ideas?

(Anon because I’ve spoken to ppl about this irl)

amother

Khaki

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 11:42 am

Don't focus on skills for a future parnassah. Let him use this as an opportunity to learn what interests him and what his unique skills are. For now, anything that sounds worth trying to him is worth trying!

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 12:23 pm

amother Khaki wrote:

The trouble is he isn’t interested in anything. Except airplanes - he wants to be a pilot (!)

I’m not specifically focusing on a career but being that he really doesn’t enjoy studying I figured it would be a good way to cut down on any learning in the future.

Have just been doing a bit of research and have come up with coding, data analytics, editing, bookkeeping. Is this totally unrealistic? I’m thinking just a short taster course so he can get an idea of what’s involved but I’m a bit discouraged from all our previous conversations about this and how everything is always no, not interested.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 12:33 pm

You mentioned he likes sports- is he good- could he help work with younger kids after school to help develop their sports skills?

You also mentioned flying- maybe there is something on Nasa's website or Udvar Hazy, that he would find interesting and possible internship for the summer.

The ideas you mentioned sound interesting- but from your description it sounds like he needs movement and those ideas seem to me that you need focus and concentration- unless you can find something with the building of computers and repair- physical activity type...

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 4:37 pm

amother Slateblue wrote:

Re needing movement, he fidgets and would definitely need to take breaks but he’s not in the hyperactive category at all but rather lethargic, a slow mover. I don’t think movement is actually for him. With focus and concentration I figured if it was something that really interested him it could keep him focused - but yes, with taking regular breaks.

Disclaimer: A lot of this is guesswork, if he agreed to an assessment and/or seeing an ADHD or executive function coach I’m sure it would help but so far he refuses to admit he needs help so it’s all coming from my own research and observations.

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 4:38 pm

amf wrote:

Give him access to a platform like skillshare and let him try different things to see what he likes

Not a bad idea. OTOH he could just get overwhelmed with the options. Maybe I’ll give it a go and see where it takes us…thanks!

amother

Canary

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 4:52 pm

Honestly, if he’s not naturally drawn to those things, they sound really boring (to me anyway…)
My husband has ADD and things he is interested in he can really focus on and gets really immersed.

Does your son ever go to the library? What is he drawn to?
If he likes planes, maybe he’s interested in military history or engineering.

What about a skill like photography?
Or cooking?

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:09 pm

Maybe manual things, carpentry, tools.

Using his hands.

Does his father know any men with a business that involves making or repairing things, or food prep such as butchering, where DS could be an informal apprentice?

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:31 pm

I’ve only ever seen an accurate description of him on this site by other posters with inattentive ADHD where they talk about not having any particular interests or talents and struggling to work out what job to take. That is him. He’s not good with his hands, has no interest in any creative pursuits (music, photography etc) and can’t articulate anything he likes spending his time doing (save for following sports, airplane paths or playing video games).

So sadly most of the above suggestions are not for him (and yes, we have tried different things over the years but nothing has clicked).

It’s a hard spot to be in but in response to a different poster, he has enough downtime during the evening that I’d like him to be somewhat productive during any other off hours by day.

I appreciate everyone's replies and suggestions!