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-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Dec 31 2023, 9:09 pm
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My DD is 8 yrs old and wakes me up every night bec she’s scared . I’m already waking up multiple times for a newborn and I just don’t have energy for this . The first few weeks after I had my baby I let my Dd sleep in my bed bec I was too tired to deal. After a few weeks I found an oz of energy to walk her back to her bed and lie down with her in her bed ( and I usually fell asleep there ). Now it’s becoming too much and my husband said I should just walk her back to her bed, give her a kiss and leave . I tired tht last night and she came knocking on my door 20 times . (K it was more like 5 but felt like 20) she eventually stopped but didn’t go back to sleep , she was playing in her room , which means she started her day at 5:30. Any advice ?! I’m rly so tired and it’s rly hard to be woken up a few times by 2 different kids nightly .
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amother
Blue
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 9:31 pm
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Did this start once the baby was born or she was always like this? Maybe it’s the new change that’s making her anxious?
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amother
Antiquewhite
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 10:38 pm
I taught my dd at 6 the skill of putting herself back to sleep I wonder if it could work on your 8 year old.
First she rethinks her dream to make it nor scary. She also can turn on the music herself -noce music to stop herself from thinking the scary dream. And she has something of mine to go to sleep with for protection. If she scared after trying to solve it herself I come to her room to help her solve her dream. At this point a lot of the scary dreams are replays of scenes we already discussed before so I'm not involved. Like gun shooting-it's really Laser Tag. I give her alot of encouragement or rewards the next morning if she told ne she had a bad dream and figured it out herself and went back,to sleep.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 10:40 pm
| amother Blue wrote: | | Did this start once the baby was born or she was always like this? Maybe it’s the new change that’s making her anxious? |
No it started before . She is an anxious child
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amother
Slategray
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 10:42 pm
I was like your dd back in the day. Trying to think what worked...
Can your husband soothe her? Does she enjoy reading? Sometimes that helps put our imagination somewhere else.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 10:45 pm
| amother Antiquewhite wrote: | I taught my dd at 6 the skill of putting herself back to sleep I wonder if it could work on your 8 year old.
First she rethinks her dream to make it nor scary. She also can turn on the music herself -noce music to stop herself from thinking the scary dream. And she has something of mine to go to sleep with for protection. If she scared after trying to solve it herself I come to her room to help her solve her dream. At this point a lot of the scary dreams are replays of scenes we already discussed before so I'm not involved. Like gun shooting-it's really Laser Tag. I give her alot of encouragement or rewards the next morning if she told ne she had a bad dream and figured it out herself and went back,to sleep. |
I like the idea of changing her dreams although usually her dreams aren’t the problem , she’s scared of robbers
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amother
OP
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 10:47 pm
| amother Slategray wrote: | I was like your dd back in the day. Trying to think what worked...
Can your husband soothe her? Does she enjoy reading? Sometimes that helps put our imagination somewhere else. |
I was like tht too, I used to go to my fathers bed , he let me come and my mother didn’t lol . My husband is a very deep sleeper he’s no help at night . Actually last night I told her to read , but it was 530, idk if tht would work at like 230, but I will def try this again , thanks
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amother
Slategray
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 10:53 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I was like tht too, I used to go to my fathers bed , he let me come and my mother didn’t lol . My husband is a very deep sleeper he’s no help at night . Actually last night I told her to read , but it was 530, idk if tht would work at like 230, but I will def try this again , thanks |
Lots in common. My husband sleeps like a rock  We aren't at your stage yet but can imagine what it will look like. I kind of hope my kids choose to wake him up instead of me so that he has no choice in the matter.
Just want to say you're a super nice mom. As a grown adult, I think back to some of my most secure moments and I think about the nights my parents comforted me through my fears. Thinking about this now, if I'm faced with children with the same challenges, I hope hope hope I can give them that same security! (I do not like getting woken up in the middle of the night lol It will be an avodah)
Another thing, would you have a spare mattress in your room for times when you are just too bombed to take her back to her room but also need your own space? Not the best for long term as she will have to learn to calm herself somehow, but maybe just through the newborn stage.
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amother
Ghostwhite
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 11:04 pm
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I have the exact same problem with my dd. Shes a deep thinker and also dreams alot , then shes scared at night of the previous nights dream.. My dd comes to my bed every night, its really hard ! Best thing is to give her therapy it really helps!
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amother
OP
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Sun, Dec 31 2023, 11:05 pm
| amother Slategray wrote: | Lots in common. My husband sleeps like a rock We aren't at your stage yet but can imagine what it will look like. I kind of hope my kids choose to wake him up instead of me so that he has no choice in the matter.
Just want to say you're a super nice mom. As a grown adult, I think back to some of my most secure moments and I think about the nights my parents comforted me through my fears. Thinking about this now, if I'm faced with children with the same challenges, I hope hope hope I can give them that same security! (I do not like getting woken up in the middle of the night lol It will be an avodah)
Another thing, would you have a spare mattress in your room for times when you are just too bombed to take her back to her room but also need your own space? Not the best for long term as she will have to learn to calm herself somehow, but maybe just through the newborn stage. |
So I used to have a pack n play in my room( before baby) and she would go in there ( I know it’s fun nny bec she’s 8 but she likes it lol) but when baby came I put stop to it , I don’t want baby waking her up every 2 hours
Thanks for saying I’m a nice mom , tht comment will def help me get they this more easily !
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amother
Currant
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Mon, Jan 01 2024, 12:20 am
I’m also scared of robbers and can be up all night. Haven’t grown out of it since I’m 8🤷🏻♀️
What helps me is an alarm and a really sturdy metal lock!
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