Is this normal behavior? how do I handle it?

Goldengoose

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 8:40 am

my 6 yr old is a precious, sensitive child. he tantrums very often. every single morning he cries and screams about something else. there's always something. his pants, his socks, someone said something, someone will say something, it's not the track he likes on the ipod, his coat didn't close easily.... the list goes on and on.
for 2 years he dressed and undressed independently, now he demands help for everything and if he doesn't get it he screams himself hoarse.
I stay as calm as I can. I don't scream back but today I told him that every morning he tantrums for something else so it's hard to accommodate him. so he refused to take snack and left the house sad. I feel terrible but also my whole day revolves around him and his moods and desires. he comes home the same moody. I spoke to his rebbe who says he's a fun cheerful child but at home he's just the opposite.
I believe it's a phase but how do I handle it correctly?

amother

Steelblue

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 8:46 am

Is he sleeping enough? If he goes to sleep early enough, does he have sleep apnea?
I would start with a blood test at the Dr to rule out any virus or infection (mono, Epstein bar, cmv...)
Is he bullied in school? Or just not happy? Does he have friends?

amother

Hyacinth

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 8:58 am

My 6.5 year old is an angel in school and at the top of his class at everything. At home he is a terror. He screams and yells, bothers everyone and is never happy. He's been like this since he was born. I'm planning on getting him tested. I think he has sensory issues. He somehow keeps himself together at school but when he come home he just can't any more.
Have you thought of testing your child?

adinamom1

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 9:16 am

Goldengoose wrote:

I had a similar phase with my 6 yr old son
He also would say that everything was unfair - like it isn't fair that he has to get dressed because he's tired...

In my case I think my son is super sensitive and in-tune, so he very badly needs me to be settled and 'there for him' in my heart. I tensed up too often around him because he is so 'much'

I think I'm seeing a difference when I'm calm deeper inside (not just calm as in not raising my voice Wink

) and in general really enjoying time with him when I'm up to it.

Do you think this is what your child wants?

amother

Beige

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 9:28 am

Goldengoose wrote:

this is going on for a long time. at least a few months.

Sorry to be that person but it was pandas for us. It didn't happen overnight and it wasn't obvious but when I looked back at the texts I sent morah (hi how's he doing etc) I was able to make a timeline tracing it back to when I got strep and there was strep in the house.

At 6 you shouldn't have a behavioral stage and you shouldn't suddenly have new sensory behaviors if he's never been like this.

amother

Quince

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 9:41 am

amother Beige wrote:

My 1st grade son had sudden sensory behaviors that completely passed and have not come up again
Every situation is different
Some kids just need more time and patience

Goldengoose

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 12:59 pm

From what I understand, there's no real way to test for pandas, right? and what is the cure for it? I took him for some alternative healing and was told he's okay but it didn't really help.

I will take him for bloodwork, is there something specific I should ask them to check for? I'll have to call the doc to refer it.

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Hyacinth wrote:

I had a child who presented like this exactly. It ended up being a mix of ADHD and sensory processing disorder. (With some visual processing and emotional regulation issues thrown in for fun 😫) The stress of keeping it together at school, made her a nightmare once she got home.

giftedmom

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 1:05 pm

Definitely do a full physical checkup including bloodwork and if everything comes back fine take him for a psychological eval to cover your bases.
There can be so many underlying causes, physical and psychological, and it can also just be a phase. Many things can become apparent at this age such as neurodivergence, anxiety, ocd, sensory issues etc.

Goldengoose

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 1:05 pm

amother Kiwi wrote:

how did you get it diagnosed and how do you treat it now?

amother

Seagreen

Mon, Jan 01 2024, 1:23 pm

Is he eating in the morning before all these tantrums happen? Dd (younger than your ds) is a different person before and after she has her breakfast. Same after school before she's eaten. Not sure if it's related at all but we also just found out she's anemic Sad