3rd child, do I still get my friend a gift?

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:02 pm

Why ever not??
I dont think it ever stops!!!!

SuperWify

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:03 pm

Of course! Every child that is born is a reason to celebrate. 1st, 3rd or 12th.

amother

Poppy

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:06 pm

If I feel a gift is not the type I send breakfast/ lunch- people really appreciate it.

meo

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:14 pm

Sometimes by the third the mother might want something for herself and you can send over a meal or a gift card for mani or something like that. But I feel like any gift is always appreciated and I find that it feels great to give

amother

Jean

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:35 pm

A gift is a gift.
Why not for the 3rd kid? Because you already gave her 2? What

A new toy for older siblings is a good idea at that point!

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:47 pm

I just had my 3rd of the same gender and gifts are still very appreciated

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:52 pm

I only give for first child. I cannot afford more but I will offer a supper which is usually cheaper. Depends how big the family is.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 4:24 pm

Anecdotally, I got fewer and fewer gifts as I had more and more children. So despite what people are saying here, in real life, people definitely tend not to give gifts as much for successive children (of course they’re appreciated for later children! Just saying people don’t give them as much). If you can afford it, it’s a really nice thing to do

amother

Maroon

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 4:43 pm

I do not have any extra money so I only get gifts for the first child. I feel the first is most expensive because you have to buy all the baby gear. For babies after that the expense is lessened because you have a high chair, bassinet, carriage, playpen etc. already and don’t need to buy as much.

cuties' mom

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 4:46 pm

One of the best gifts I got was when I had my second child. Two of my aunts went to amazing savings and bought toys for the big brother. They figured I don't need new baby clothes since both of my boys were born the same month. My youngest still plays with one of the toys that they bought.

Last edited by cuties' mom on Wed, Jan 03 2024, 4:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Dimgray

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 4:48 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Many ppl in my circle do the same - give for the first.

More ppl might give for a later on kid if they are coming to the bris.

bebrave

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 4:51 pm

I know some people can't afford etc. I'm not telling people what to do, just myself;) I prioritise, especially with family and close friends. When it gets to Simchas I give and I sometimes even use tzdaka money for it.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:08 pm

Huh?
Is each subsequent child less special?
I personally find that I treat each of my subsequent children more and more like a one and only
And my friends have gotten me (and I have gotten them) nicer and nicer gifts by later children
1. We could afford more as time goes on, 2. We have a greater appreciation for what a miracle each child is and how special and significant they are.
Way way way more than a young person having their first where it’s more or less taken for granted

amother

Lily

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:29 pm

I usually give a gift for the older siblings, more than the new baby, a game or something that they can all enjoy.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:37 pm

amother Lily wrote:

I usually give a gift for the older siblings, more than the new baby, a game or something that they can all enjoy.

Just letting you know, I personally don’t really appreciate when people did that. First of all, I felt like they were forgetting about the significant event of a new Neshama in my family.
Also, they would get such inappropriate things, like magna tiles for my 8 year old (a toy more appropriate for a toddler or younger child, etc)

amother

Calendula

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:38 pm

I only gift for first of each gender
Simple because I can't afford to do more
I think it's a valid reason

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:46 pm

amother Calendula wrote:

I only gift for first of each gender
Simple because I can't afford to do more
I think it's a valid reason

Not affording a gift is a very valid reason
Not giving because, “nah, it’s not their first, not so exciting” is not

amother

Snapdragon

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 7:28 pm

I always give a gift. It’s also instead of supper that many people offer but, I don’t enjoy making supper for others.