Teach me what to do at my dd’s wedding

amother

Purple

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 9:30 am

amother Purple wrote:

[For reference: yeshivish Lakewood weddings now and all weddings 20 years ago. I jave not married off my own, and have been to very few non Lakewood weddings in the past few years]

She and chosson come in snd afe announced.

Her friends will probably have are arches. She runs through. You and mil are last ones in the path. You yake het hands and dance. I dont think its much longer than anyone else but not sure.

Not written in stone, but ususlly her order of dancing is you, mil, grandmothers on both sides, then her sisters/sil in age order, then his sisters/sil in age order. Then she moves onto aunts, cousins, friends it becomes a mish mash.

Often, at some point (maybe when shes dancing w pple you dont know) you amd mil each make your own circle e your pple. I gave no idea how that happens or why.

After chuppah go to room for pictures w immediate family. Mill around w them.

Yichud is chosson kallah family dependent. She should ask her kallah teacher. You can ask yoir family rav in case you feel its been too long.

Pictures ask photographer.

After benching they may have kumzitzs or mill around w who ever is left for a bit. Theyll decide when to go. I dont see them usually rushing out, but I am only here this late if its close family! There is usually a nice ride for them. I think its usually a gift from chossons friends, but eithee way is boys side responsibility! Make sure she has her kesuba!

Parents are basically the last ones to leave. Check around that you didn't leave anything.

Im adding to mine to echo what others said and add that you are usually detained by the chuppah for a while as lots of pple will come up to say mazal tov to you while the men dance the chosson to the yichud room.

Once this peters out you can head to pictures ( which may very well be in the chuppah room, depends).

Just dont dissappear!

I never see the mothers in the hall until the family is done w pictures. (Leaving the c&k for theirs)

Chayalle

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 9:38 am

amother Purple wrote:

After the Chosson gives the Kallah the Kesuba, she gives it to her mother. That Kesuba has to be kept track of, and this is your job as the mother of the Kallah OP. After the mazal tovs and hugs died down in the Chuppah room, I quickly ran to the Kallah room where we had stored DD's overnight wheelie that she would be taking with her that night, and I stuck the Kesuba in there. Then I quickly went back to the Chuppah room, and pretty soon after that they came out of Yichud and we had pictures.

Chayalle

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 9:43 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks, this is all so helpful!! Someone mentioned helping my dd out of her gown before they go. Do all kallahs change before they go? What do they wear?

DD went home in her wedding gown, but she removed some of the petticoats so it wouldn't be so heavy. If she opts to do this, your DD may need your help.

Depending on the order of how you do the wedding, after it's over see if your DD needs your help to get ready to leave.

As to order of the wedding, we actually did first dance, then main course followed by bentching, and then second dance followed by a dessert buffet. This is not typical but it's a new trend I've seen by a few people...we did it as our Rav is very into it, and more people are present by bentching and the Brachos when done this way.

Chayalle

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 9:49 am

amother Jean wrote:

please take dry snacks for yourself to eat after CHUPPA...you will need and may not feel like eating with everyone etc till later at dinner. granola bar, pretzels andnget a DD or friend to make sure to hand it to you at one point after CHUPPA and bf pictures

After pictures, like a few minutes before the Kallah came in, my wonderful sisters had a bowl of soup for me at their table, and they made me sit and eat it. OP if you have a friend who can do this for you, it will give you strength for the dancing. I don't think I would have eaten anything otherwise. At the head table (if you have one) you feel kind of self-conscious and you don't really eat. (I actually reserved seats for the grandmothers at their children's tables AND at the head table, so they could eat comfortably before the Chosson/Kallah come in, not be alone at the head table. This idea came from my wonderful mechutaniste.)

If you have friends/family that can arrange for there to be food in the Kallah room before the wedding, that's also great. Make sure to eat that day. My sisters put sushi, muffins, and bagels in the room, and we ate before the Kabbalas Panim.

amother

Bottlebrush

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 10:27 am

1. Assign a family member on each side to be in charge of shoving family in front of kallah during the dancing . This can be another daughter, your sister, etc. Someone has to make sure the grandma's and great aunts and random relatives get into first dance and it's not going to be the kallah.

2. Between carpools has a whole wedding guide