Link?? Recipe?? Bus??

mommyhood

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 5:38 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

Some of us do that for many hours a day...while we're trying to wait for the bus or cook the recipe or order the item.

So you have time and hand access to cook the recipe but not the 2 extra seconds to respond fully?
I don’t buy the lack of time, being on social media is an inherent time waster so if you’re on it you have time. I chalk it up to personality, some people think it’s rude some don’t.

DreamerForever

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 5:51 pm

What I don't get is, you're asking me to do you a favour and give you my own time; but you don't have time to thank me or ask nicely?

bp1234

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 6:40 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

I’m voted yes it does bother me but I thought you meant the double question mark.

Haha! The double question mark is a pet peeve as well!! 😉

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 6:46 pm

The bus thing is so weird to me! The first time I saw it I was confused. Thought I missed part of the message.
Just type it out.
Does anyone know where the bus is?
Where is the bus up to?
Any update on the bus?

bp1234

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 6:48 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

It’s just so abrupt. Every morning I wait for the “bus?” text. For all those saying no time, I rly wonder how many milliseconds seconds more it takes to say “Gm where’s the bus”?

lucky14

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 8:19 pm

Luckily I have not encountered this on any of the chats that I’m part of. It would annoy me also.

Last edited by lucky14 on Tue, Jan 09 2024, 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Feverfew

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 8:19 pm

I don’t find it rude per se, rather a type of slang’y’ way of communicating that has become the norm.

I personally don’t engage in this type of slang because I prefer a more proper speech. (I also write my husband rather than dh.)

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 8:54 pm

It's not worth it for me to let it get to me. If I let this bother me, then a million other little things would also. I answer only if I have the time or am in the mood, regardless of how it's asked. It's social media and I don't have high expectations. In person would be a different story.

seeker

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:06 pm

If you tell me you're making something good and I say "recipe?" I'm not expecting you to do me a huge favor and type it out. I'm assuming you're following a recipe online that you can just easily share the link. Or snap a pic if you're following a physical recipe. Of course I will thank you if you do. But if you're asking me for a recipe I will be neither more nor less inclined to help if you say "pretty please if it's not too much bother and you have the time then I'd really appreciate if you could please graciously share your recipe" vs "recipe plz?" My willingness to help will be based solely on whether I have time to respond at the time.

I mean I do get that there are nicer and less nice ways to ask a thing. I just think that a thread of aggravation is a bit much. I think it's a difference in communication style rather than a total lack of manners. Some people are just quick and to the point. Sometimes very quick and to the point. And yes sometimes I find life hectic enough that it really does save time to not write out full texts. Sometimes it feels like I process a LOT of texts.

amother

Brass

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:17 pm

seeker wrote:

if you're asking me for a recipe I will be neither more nor less inclined to help if you say "pretty please if it's not too much bother and you have the time then I'd really appreciate if you could please graciously share your recipe" vs "recipe plz?" My willingness to help will be based solely on whether I have time to respond at the time.

I mean I do get that there are nicer and less nice ways to ask a thing. I just think that a thread of aggravation is a bit much. I think it's a difference in communication style rather than a total lack of manners. Some people are just quick and to the point. Sometimes very quick and to the point. And yes sometimes I find life hectic enough that it really does save time to not write out full texts. Sometimes it feels like I process a LOT of texts.

Why is there not a happy medium between the 2 versions of questions you asked? I think there’s a big difference between “recipe?” And “can you send me the recipe?” It doesn’t need to be all dramatic.
Why is our “time” and excuse to lack basic manners? I think it’s a middos issue more than a communication preference.

seeker

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:31 pm

amother Brass wrote:

I guess if it makes you happy you can attach moral value to your communication preference.

But to demonstrate that this is a preference rather than an objective value, consider that much of what you say would have been considered trashy 100 years ago. Curtness is relative, not absolute.

One could also argue that it's a middos issue to judge people on how curtly they text. I bet in many cases the person who doesn't take time to add "may I have the" to their "recipe plz?" would find plenty of time to help you with an actual real world problem because they probably have fine middos.

Going to check my text history to see where I even fall on the spectrum. I'm not even sure anymore. I just think, on principle, that this is a kind of silly thing to get all principled about.

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:35 pm

seeker wrote:

Going to check my text history to see where I even fall on the spectrum. I'm not even sure anymore. I just think, on principle, that this is a kind of silly thing to get all principled about.

LMK pls

bp1234

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:40 pm

seeker wrote:

Perhaps it falls more under the category of respect. Like if you’d text the Rebbitzen or your child’s teacher I would assume the verbiage would differ.

seeker

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 1:15 am

amother Aquamarine wrote:

LMK pls

I like what you did there!

Alas none of my messaging apps, as far as I can tell, have a feature that lets you filter or search for messages that I sent. This isn't the first time I've wanted that, btw. So I quickly realized that it's a lost cause.

I think the answer is probably that it depends on the audience and context. If it's between friends of mine, we definitely zip out replies like "link?" We have enough interactions and background with each other that we're really not going to be bothered with this stuff. When we want to shmooze, we'll shmooze. When we want details about the supper picture someone shared, we'll "recipe?"
I think I've done this on imamother too.
Whereas if it's on a whole community chat, that includes a bunch of my mother's friends, I may be more likely to use a sentence. I'm not sure if it's come up, to be honest. I'm usually more likely on the giving end than the asking end. If I'm getting something (like a link or recipe) it's usually because someone volunteered it. I don't think it's happened so it's hard to say theoretically if I would say "recipe? Or "recipe please?" or "can you please share the recipe?" Certainly now that I've seen this thread I would probably go with the latter on public chats.

Yes, there is some laziness in one word requests. But there's also laziness in not ironing my sheets. There was an era that would have been scandalous, and these days we just value other things. So I think in this era of sms communication we as a society don't value extra words as much. Somehow we value looking better in frequent pictures, though. So the world turns.

seeker

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 1:20 am

I think context is a big factor too. If the same thing keeps coming up then it's more natural people will start shortcutting. Like in a class chat, the first few times it will definitely be "does anyone know which examples were for math homework?" Or "can someone please check what page they need to do for math?" But if it starts to be a thing that every other day someone needs the math homework, it'll probably devolve into "math hw??" And nobody will care.

amother

Bluebonnet

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 5:43 am

When people ask me “plz” because it’s shorter than “please,” I answer “no” because it’s shorter than “yes.”
Tongue Out

seeker

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 7:48 am

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

When people ask me “plz” because it’s shorter than “please,” I answer “no” because it’s shorter than “yes.”
Tongue Out

Sounds like amazing middos right there. Great way to decide who to be nice to.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 8:41 am

seeker wrote:

👍👍👍

Also, text definitely has different rules than social media posts on imamother (and I assume Facebook?)

We have a neighborhood bus chat that's specifically for one school. It started off with just one specific Bus route and at this point it's all busses.
So in the morning we get a lot of "bus?" Or even "bus". Sometimes "girls" or "highschool" everyone knows what everyone means.
Lots of people here have flip phones and in the morning rush, yes seconds count!
My kids have missed the bus becuase the bus driver didn't see then at the edge of the driveway and zoomed by. (Rule is you must wait at the edge of the driveway so the driver can see you to slow down. If not you aren't picked up. We have house stops here. And if you run even in your driveway you cannot come onto the bus. So literally seconds can count!)
We used to all say Thank you or thanks or tnx or whatever after someone responds but after a bit we decided not to. Becuase poeple thought another important message came I . And they ran to check their phone in the morning rush. Also it cluttered the chat and specifically poeple with flip phones would have a hard time following and getting the info they needed so we all decided to NOT wrote thanks or anything that's absolutely not necessary. Eventually more people were added and they just follow the crowd.
Every now and then when there is no bus I do say "I appreciate this chat so much and all those who help you!" But only every now ans then. (We are from the last on route. Bus times can really vary due to weather or traffic and when its FREEZING. It means my kids cam wait inside! And leave only a minute or 2 before the bus shows. Amazing! )

In general text grammar is different.
Just like ASL doesn't have the words "The" and "it" and such filler words.... rules are different same here.

In general I do find that people say thank you or thnx or tnx for a favor/recipe/answer.

When I sit down to browse imamother I'm not in a rush I have time to type out. Not so much on text. If I have enough time I pick up a phone and call. And I find most people do.
I have a friend who sends me long long messages on text. The last few years I get the longest voice notes. And those can alsi get challenging but generally they are manageable as the phone will automatically go from one message to the other.
But for texts longer than a few short words I'd always respond with a phone call. I don't have time randomly in my day to just text and text and text. I can do laundry while I'm blabbering or I can cook while chatting... I can text or check imamother when I'm having my coffee though. 😜

amother

Green

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:14 am

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

When people ask me “plz” because it’s shorter than “please,” I answer “no” because it’s shorter than “yes.”
Tongue Out

I don't know if you're serious about that, but if you are you can text "ye" or "ya"

amother

Bluebonnet

Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:36 am

seeker wrote:

Sounds like amazing middos right there. Great way to decide who to be nice to.

Oh goodness it’s a joke! I actually have the meme but don’t know how to post it.