No baby gate at stairs

amother

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 10:52 am

I've been to several homes which there are little babies there, but no baby gates at the stairs. They say that it doesn't look nice & they want the babies to learn to do the stairs on their own. I aske what if they fall? "If they fall, they'll learn to do it differently the next time". I'm just so astounded by this. Don't people realize that if a baby takes a tumble down the stairs, there may not be a "next time" ch'v??? Why is the house looking nice more important than childrens safety? I don't view this any different than allowing babies to run in to the road so they should learn on their own road safety.
I couldn't relax the entire shabbos, I was busy chasing my baby to make sure they're not near the stairs.
Thoughts?

amother

Ginger

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:10 am

I don't either have gates. All my kids learn to do the steps within 2-3 months and I'm on top of them during that time. And yes, I'm always chasing. I might do different if I had a ceramic or stone floor at the bottom. Also, depends how big the staircase are. Every house works differently, you do what works for you.

amother

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:14 am

amother Ginger wrote:

Regular home staircase.
Why would someone even take the chance when it comes to their babies? And even if they do learn, there can always be an accident ch'v. They're babies after all.
Crawling babies that don't walk yet.

amother

Chambray

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:20 am

I have a gate on the top of my steps but not on the bottom. My kids all learn to walk up the steps pretty much right after they learned how to walk. I barely used the gate on top ever. When I built my house and put in the banister I was very insistent that I wanted to be the gate. I convinced the guy to do it for me but he would not do it for any of my other neighbors as he said they always break and he's not interested in doing it. In general lots of banister people are not interested in doing baby gates.

amother

Skyblue

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:22 am

If you're just letting your baby figure it out on their own then it's neglectful. If you teach them how to navigate stairs safely, even a crawling baby can learn. My sister didn't put gates in her house and when her ten month old would go near the stairs he would start shaking his head and doing his hand motion for no no no because he knew he wasn't allowed to climb up. Don't do it if it makes you nervous but it's not neglectful of other parents who do

amother

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:23 am

amother Chambray wrote:

Once the babies are walking, they're more steady on the stairs. I'm talking about crawling babies.

amother

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:25 am

amother Skyblue wrote:

I didn't say it's neglectful.
I think that even if babies are taught stairs safety, they're still taking a big risk on a little baby.

amother

Chocolate

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:27 am

amother OP wrote:

Once the babies are walking, they're more steady on the stairs. I'm talking about crawling babies.

We’ve always taught our babies how to navigate the stairs pretty early on.
If you’re consistent it is actually pretty easy to learn.

Never uses gates, never had any accidents.

Maybe find better things to be outraged about.

(Eta I’ve found gates to have their own problem. Firstly if other kids forget or are lazy to snap them closed, baby will instantly run over, because it’s usually locked, it’s more exciting. Secondly, many gates come with a floor bar which is a tripping hazard.)

(Whenever we have guests over with babies who aren’t stair trained we prop a foam mattress across the staircase.)

(It has nothing to do with aesthetics. I think, gates are annoying and impractical.)

amother

Antiquewhite

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:30 am

I don't understand not putting up a baby gate at all. We put up gates when our oldest (now 16) was beginning to crawl and still have them up even though our youngest is 4 and we don't plan on having any more children. It's still useful to have the gates closed when we have guests, both for meals and for sleeping. It keeps curious kids from going where they don't belong no matter how old or young they are and allows guests to relax a bit when their kids are temporarily out of sight.

It's one thing to be a guest in someone's house with only the responsibility of taking care of your own family. It's annoying to have to chase after active children, but it's doable. I don't understand why people don't want gates in their own homes! If it's an aesthetic issue, then there are nicer looking ones than the basic ones I have. But in reality, it's nearly impossible to keep eyes on a crawling child or toddler at all times while also running a home and taking care of the needs of all members of the family. I'd rather have gates up and teach stair safety at convenient times for me than have to run after a baby while also trying to cook dinner or do laundry (or use the bathroom!) or supervise homework or all of those things at once. I also don't understand the idea that it's ok to let a baby fall down the stairs to teach them not to climb stairs. That's a very risky lesson! Falling down the stairs can seriously hurt a child. Better to teach them how to navigate stairs when you can be right there with them the whole time.

In short, OP, I totally agree with you, but sadly you can only control safety measures in your own home and can't dictate to others what to do in theirs.

amother

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:33 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

I'm not outraged.
Just asking/wondering about this.
I wonder if it's a new trend as I've only been seeing this for the past few of years.
Years ago, everyone had baby gates. I wonder if there are benefits for the baby developmentally by not having gates.

amother

Moonstone

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:37 am

amother OP wrote:

They learn to climb much quicker. Obviously you do have to watch them.

amother

Chambray

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:42 am

amother OP wrote:

Once the babies are walking, they're more steady on the stairs. I'm talking about crawling babies.

My last child didn't crawl so didnt deal with it. Other children learned very early on to go up and down. Bh never had any baby falling or any accidents. If I didn't want a baby going upstairs I block the steps from downstairs but it's very rare I need to

amother

Blueberry

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 11:47 am

I can’t watch my baby every single second. It’s not possible. I don’t know how you all do it
With my first 2 we lived in a basement so I didn’t have to worry about stairs.
Now with my third I’m in a house and going to get a a baby gate.
I also don’t understand how people don’t have a baby gate unless they’re baby is on a leash.