Are you going away mid winter vacation?

amother

Jean

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:10 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

Yes Bh. family travel is something we’ve always prioritized even while we forgo lots of things that others consider necessities. we are doing a driving trip and I’m really looking forward ro a fun and relaxed week. it’s a lot of work and even with using points etc it still adds up BUT it’s important to my husband and I. and also given that the yomim tovin were on weekends I haven’t taken vacation since late summer and I NEED it (work FT with generous PTO) to avoid burnout

If you don't mind my asking, what sort of things/ necessities do you give up for it?

amother

Azalea

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:14 pm

amother Jean wrote:

If you don't mind my asking, what sort of things/ necessities do you give up for it?

necessities by other peoples standards, not mine. but off the top of my head: no cleaning help, no manicures/waxing/laser etc, no expensive clothes, no precut fruit or veggies, lots and lots of sale shopping for food, 1 car (string reliance on public transport) not seeing out of network doctors or therapists. etc etc

amother

Jean

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:16 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

Ah ok, so I don't do any of those things and still can't go away. I was just wondering if there is something I'm missing that I'm spending on and that's why I can't go. Oh well...

amother

cornflower

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:18 pm

No.

I don't know when this became a "thing". I'm 37 for the record, live in Brooklyn, and my kids (7 kids, from 1 to 16) are all in normal mainstream places, dh and I both teach.

We're not going because we don't subscribe to this "norm" and honestly don't know when it became something we have to explain away: the poll only has options of "no, I can't afford it" or "no, schedules don't work out".

Honestly I don't get it.

amother

Jean

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:21 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Same. An then the other option is to be home with kids for an entire week trying to keep them busy. (In my house it's gonna be watching videos).

Why is vacation the norm at all? Why do they need an entire week off?

amother

Wheat

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:21 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

We go away because I need it for my sanity, and my kids need a break. I have a number of difficult children, and if I don’t get a break, the rest of my year becomes VERY difficult. The same for the summer, before school starts. The years that we didn’t go away were very hard for me. I wasn’t a good wife or mother.

amother

Azalea

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:22 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Ah ok, so I don't do any of those things and still can't go away. I was just wondering if there is something I'm missing that I'm spending on and that's why I can't go. Oh well...

I’m sorry. everything adds up and it costs a lot to go away. we scrimp where we can; we use points for hotel. we only pay for attractions . last year we flew somewhere used points for airline, flight and car rental. (last year school let me pay tuition on credit card with waived fee hence the high points!)

amother

Azalea

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:24 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

I’m almost 10 years older than you. went to brooklyn BY type school. been going away for midwinter since the late 80s. meaning, it was always a thing. it’s just a thing for more people than it was then. but nothing new about mid winter travel

amother

Jean

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:25 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

What sort of break are you getting if you're going away with those difficult kids?

amother

Taupe

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:32 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Same. I posted earlier a similar response. It's just not in our lifestyle to go vacationing. Like we're not even checking prices to see if it's affordable.
We don't either subscribe to this norm. Also if a dh is in kollel, this is not off time. A serious kollel guy won't take off stam if not bein hazmanim.
BTw, we are the same age and location as you. But different professions.

amother

Cantaloupe

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:38 pm

As I wrote up thread I am going away but I don't believe that you need to go away. I think the problem is that our kids are in school most of the year and a few times their vacation actually coordinate. It's nice to take a family vacation..
Many many years we stay home and my kids came with me to work or we took off one day and did something small. My kids honestly don't even know we're going away this year and don't think we're going away. I didn't tell them yet. And it also doesn't always cost a lot. As you can see many ppl are not spending a ton to get away.

amother

Jean

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:43 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

Its not about having a ton. It's about having nothing. Seriously nothing. Zero. I can't afford to have a vacation now. I don't have any money to do anything with the family. Sure it's nice to go away, but many people simply cannot do it.

amother

NeonBlue

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:56 pm

amother Jean wrote:

What sort of break are you getting if you're going away with those difficult kids?

Not that poster but I have kids in a hard stage (iyh not difficult kids just a few young ones at once with various mild issues that are very draining) last year we went away and I remember my sister asking me the same question-

Ultimately the change of environment was good for all of us. It was super hard still to deal with pulling all nighters with night terrors and multiple meltdowns with a different kid etc. but there was these super special good moments that were a breath of fresh air from the daily grind.

When I took my 4 year old to the beach to calm her (holding her while she calmed down like I do at home in my apartment). Watching them enjoy the pool. Also just the sun and ocean give me life!

This year we aren’t going and I’m just focusing on the hard work it entails so I don’t feel so bad lol. But the difficult kids are also really hard to have at home for a week! Especially when it’s beyond freezing outside and everyone is going from one cold to the next…

Ps- bh bh from last year to today so much has changed for my kids! We still have many little challenges but nothing in the league of what we dealt with then.

amother

Cantaloupe

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:57 pm

amother Jean wrote:

You're right it doesn't always work to go away. All I was saying was many ppl use points or go to family so it doesn't really cost money.

amother

Mintcream

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 10:58 pm

shev143 wrote:

Nope. My brothers and sisters are being held hostage. And are fighting for our right to survive and exist. I would only go if I could go and spend my money in Israel. Since that isn't feasible we stay home

I appreciate this.

We are driving to visit grandparents and doing a day trip. Im not comfortable doing anything bigger this year.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 11:02 pm

amother Jean wrote:

What sort of break are you getting if you're going away with those difficult kids?

The change of scenery and the change from the grind of the daily routine, believe it or not, is actually great for them! (And me)

amother

NeonBlue

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 11:10 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

You're right it doesn't always work to go away. All I was saying was many ppl use points or go to family so it doesn't really cost money.

Also don’t get this. When we have to we sell our point for money, real money so I don’t get why people think using points doesn’t cost anything, it’s just another way of creating income.

amother

Crocus

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 11:26 pm

I voted no because of work/schedules and that is mostly true, but we never really go away for winter break. It's not a time DH can usually get away from work. We tend to do an end of the summer road trip as our major family vacation of the year. Last summer we spent a fantastic week and a half in New Hampshire. A summer road trip is far more our speed than flying off to an exotic destination. The one time we flew somewhere for winter break was to Israel for a family simcha that they were kind enough to make when they knew the kids would be off from school so that we'd all be able to come.

DH usually takes off one day to do something with the kids and I have to figure out how to entertain them the rest of the time. We try to do some fun outings and some fun stuff in and around the house. A couple of years ago when hot cocoa bombs were all the rage I bought some supplies and we made our own. Then of course we got to sample them and they definitely hit the spot again the next day after the kids spent time playing in the snow. Sometimes the grandparents have the time and energy to take the kids out for an activity or a special treat so I can have some quiet time to myself or run some errands without all the kids tagging along. Sometimes running errands is the activity.

amother

Pearl

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 11:49 pm

I voted the first option.
This is really the first time my husband is taking off work for more than two days since he's been working at his job for almost four years. We can't really afford it but feel it's necessary. Not anything major, we'll be driving an hour and renting a house just to have a change of scenery for a few days