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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:00 pm
I don’t think you automatically love the jewelry just because you love the guy. I also think that if you do love the jewelry it may make a person be more excited to wear it, show it to her friends, and be engaged. But I hope that if you don’t like the jewelry, that it would detract from your feelings for the person.
I didn’t love the aesthetics of my ring. Now I do and it took an eternity band to make it feel balanced on my hand. I loved my chassan and couldn’t wait to get married. The ring was everything I asked for and more (the everything and more was the “problem”, he incorporated everything I liked in different jewelry pieces into a single ring. It was super well meant, huge effort and attempt to listen, and a lot). We are married over 10 years (hence the 10 year anniversary eternity band -I could have asked for one sooner, but I wanted it to be a 10 year band, not another bauble). I could not be happier with him and I think you don’t always need to say everything you think. The ring was as much for him to be proud of as it was for me to wear. More than once over the years, has he said that styles change and if I want to reset my ring, I absolutely can. Honestly, I hope to wear it in this setting until 120.
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amother
Sapphire
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:09 pm
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Bh I was very happy to get engaged but I can't say that I loved my jewelry. I didn't get a say in any of the pieces and until today MIL and I have very different tastes. Over the years I've updated and got pieces more to my taste.
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amother
Watermelon
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:09 pm
yes I absolutely love my jewlery.
my in laws are comfortable and I what I got far surpassed anything I could have imagined.
of course its not what is important but for me I felt so good and loved... like they really were excited to have me join the family and so they went all out.
also I was engaged over the covid lockdown and for me my jewlery was the only tangible sign of my engagement. but no one could have known that.
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amother
Iris
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:10 pm
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I chose my ring. He gave me Diamond solitaire studs and a Diamond necklace that were way too Aidel than I was used to. I only wore giant chunky costume jewelry and wasn’t used to dainty Diamonds. Also a nice and simple watch that I didn’t love. Ten years later I wear them daily and love how classic, modest vs showy, and versatile they are!
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exhausted
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:13 pm
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No I didn't. Soon after I was married I made sure to tell him that from now on I'd like to choose my own jewelry.
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amother
Burgundy
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:18 pm
I didn't love my jewelry but BH didn't hate it.
I always dreamt of very specific pieces but I wasn't given a choice.
I'm happy at least I don't hate my jewelry 
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amother
Butterscotch
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:18 pm
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My mil gave a budget to the jewelry store, and I got to choose what I wanted within range... I chose a necklace that I still love today.
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Chayalle
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:20 pm
I love my ring - and I chose it. My bracelet was not at all my taste/style and I never liked it.
I love my pearls but haven't worn them in years - it just seems out of style. Maybe I should wear them at home. It's a thought. Some of this is laziness.
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amother
Tulip
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:25 pm
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I did not choose my bracelet or my yichud room necklace (diamonds). I was okay with both at the time but noticed as I got older that they were really tiny diamonds that were camouflaged to look bigger. I ended up selling them (20 years later) and got nice cash I used toward a new Leichter. I never loved my candlesticks
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amother
Navyblue
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:32 pm
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DH used his own money to buy all my jewelry and it was not elaborate or flashy but I got to choose the pieces in the price range and I loved that it was a gift straight from him and not from his mother with him not involved. My sisters helped him pick out a yichud room necklace which I think is beautiful
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tweety1
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:34 pm
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Some of my jewelry I loved and some not at all.
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amother
Orange
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:36 pm
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I got to choose the pieces myself so I like them all. Only one I’m not really a fan of after a few years is my earrings. I wouldn’t mind swapping them out for different ones
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amother
NeonPurple
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:39 pm
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Miraculously, I did. I chose the ring and bracelet myself though, and he was able to intuit my taste for the other pieces he bought.
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amother
Viola
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:40 pm
I didn't really like any of my jewelry, except earrings which I got to choose. I also don't like my leichter or machzorim.
I do like my husband, though, which is the main thing! 
But on a serious note, I was uncertain during my engagement about marrying dh. No red flags, I had just been pressured to say yes faster than I was ready. The uncertainty was definitely compounded every time I got a gift throughout the engagement which was really not to my liking. It just felt like I didn't have a voice throughout any of it.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:43 pm
Feeling like you don’t have a voice really is a problem.
That must have been really tough!
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DrMom
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:43 pm
I was asked to help select the jewelry I was given , since my taste differs considerably from that of my ILs (and my husband).
I like what I picked out (obviously).
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amother
NeonGreen
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:47 pm
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Loved my chosson hated all my jewelry! My in laws have no taste and didn’t think to let me choose!
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amother
Red
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:49 pm
Love my bracelet - I was given three choices and picked the one I liked most. HATED my ring. It was really something I couldn’t appreciate… the diamond was small which was zero issue to me, but they tried to make the band full of bling to make up for it. It was showy and loud and not at all to my tastes. I stopped wearing it during my first pregnancy (when I lost
A lot of weight from nausea and it kept falling off), and basically never put it back on. After close to 10 years of marriage I reset my small diamond on to a thin understated ring, and now I love (and wear) it!
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amother
Slateblue
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 12:56 pm
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I gave my chosson a picture of the ring I wanted and he had it made. I also got a pair of pearl earrings with diamonds hanging off of them when he proposed. I did not get a bracelet, bh I got one from my parents for my 21st birthday. My earrings and ring were the only real pieces I got (in laws are not American, but where they come from getting a cz ring is normal so I am grateful I have a real ring). My mil chose these chandelier CZ earrings and necklace which arent my taste at all. One earring had a diamond missing anyway. I glued the diamond back in and I make an effort to wear it when I see them. I dont bother wearing the necklace.
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amother
Lily
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 1:11 pm
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I didn’t like a single thing I got as a kallah. I was given a choice of 4 hideous bracelets. I went with the least awful option and only wore it until we got married and then the first year when with in laws. I didn’t get a choice of a ring and I hated that too! My necklace and candlesticks were okay; not ugly but just not my style. I wish I would’ve been able to choose. I’m not a fancy girl who needed anything grand; just something that aligned with my taste. All my jewelry is still sitting collecting dust in the back of my closet for 12 years. BH over the years I’ve picked out beautiful jewelry which is my taste and I love it! Bh the real “gem” I chose is just as beautiful if not more all these years later. (Awww)
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