How Ectomorph picks schools for her children

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:31 pm

(Note: my husband and I are on the same page with this stuff)

Things I do not care about:

1. Smartphone policies for parents

(There is no way for a school to enforce this properly without being invasive, and frankly I'd rather they not pretend.)

2. Tznius policies

(These are exclusively focused on clothing tznius, and the more tznius policies there are, the more the kids think tznius is all about clothing.)

3. Whether other parents wear a sheitel or a black hat or Tzitzis tucked in or out

(And I hope the other parents don't care either)

4. Diversity OR lack of diversity in the student body

5. If all the teachers are Jewish / frum / have college degrees / went to seminary

Things I care about, A TINY BIT:

1. Smartphone culture among the children

(easily determined by asking if the class dynamics are affected by social media. You don't need more details. If so, does the school acknowledge this openly.)

2. Uniform vs no uniform.

(I prefer a uniform. One drop of uniform kills more problems than an entire gallon of tznius policies - IYH.)

3. Food

(I prefer a school that serves food, because my children are social eaters and their behavior is much better when they're not hungry. I also don't like the trading lunch or snacks culture I remember from my childhood.)

4. Clear healthcare documentation and transparency in school policy and operations.

(I don't care if they vax or don't vax or serve agave nectar or kale lollipops for recess, but there should be a functioning system to officially let parents know if there's an outbreak of shigella. It should not be word of mouth, because people fall between the cracks.)

Summary:

Should a prestigious school not want my wonderful family,I'd rather send my kids to a "lower class school with problem kids that doesn't reflect my hashkafah and status in the community" rather than the one that is good for shidduchim.

The important things to me:

Does the school teach Yiras Shamayim and a Judaic studies curriculum?

Are they wanted and valued by the school, as kids?

Can I work with the school when there are social or emotional things going on?

Isha Yiras Hashem, and please credit if you use some of these ideas.

Quote:

Edit: If you respond as amother, that is totally fine. I plan to only respond to posts from screen names, unless I think the use of amother is justified in that particular case.

Last edited by ectomorph on Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:51 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Snapdragon

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:34 pm

Are you asking is to suggest schools based on these criteria ?

NechaMom

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:42 pm

I’m not understanding what you’re asking for.
Are you only looking for a discussion?

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:47 pm

NechaMom wrote:

I’m not understanding what you’re asking for.
Are you only looking for a discussion?

Perhaps someone will enjoy reading it. If anyone wants to engage, I'm happy to hear their thoughts, and hopefully learn something.

giselle

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:48 pm

The title is confusing.

NechaMom

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:48 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Perhaps someone will enjoy reading it. If anyone wants to engage, I'm happy to hear their thoughts, and hopefully learn something.

Did you find a school that meets these criteria?

NechaMom

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:48 pm

giselle wrote:

The title is confusing.

IYH by you, huh?

amother

Sand

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:49 pm

Your post didn't clear. What are you asking or getting opinions on?

giselle

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:49 pm

NechaMom wrote:

IYH by you, huh?

Amen! 🙏🏻

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:50 pm

giselle wrote:

The title is confusing.

I see your point. Will edit.

sima3

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:51 pm

Hi! Is the OP on this thread IYH? Bec if so then regards from our dearest TW at YNY!
More important question for you though-we’re you able to find a school?
Bec I agree with you theoretically but I can’t find such a school 🏫 🙈

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:51 pm

NechaMom wrote:

Did you find a school that meets these criteria?

At the moment, yes, bH

amother

DarkViolet

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:51 pm

giselle wrote:

The title is confusing.

im yertya hashem.

giselle

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:52 pm

ectomorph wrote:

I see your point. Will edit.

Ohhhhh. Totally curious. Why did you originally say iyh?

giselle

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:52 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

im yertya hashem.

And that made sense to you?

NechaMom

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:53 pm

אשה יראת השם
Are you people even reading?

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:57 pm

sima3 wrote:

Thanks, it is a small world!!!

I live out of town, so not helpful to in town people. Happy to share via PM.

Note: It is impossible to run a school that pleases everyone! This one happens to meet our particular set of needs, but of course people have different experiences. I'm only speaking for myself, but it's a perspective I haven't seen elsewhere on imamother, and it's worth sharing.

ectomorph

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:58 pm

giselle wrote:

Ohhhhh. Totally curious. Why did you originally say iyh?

I usually use Isha Yiras Hashem as my online pseudonym. It's become a habit. Apologies for the confusion.

BH Yom Yom

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 1:59 pm

I love your OP! So well said.

NechaMom

Fri, Jan 19 2024, 2:20 pm

Curious why you wouldn’t answer anonymous posts.