If you don't like saying how many children you have

amother

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:04 pm

I'm not a very big believer in ayin hara, so I'm not sure why but I get peeved when people ask how many children I have. I usually just say "more than a handful, bh". Which is true, a handful being 5 and I bh have more than 5.

Any other nice/polite replies?

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why do you need a good comeback for a simple question? That seems so petty.
Just answer a normal answer. If you don't want to say the amount of kids you have, just say that you don't like to say for ayin hora purposes.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:06 pm

Why the need for a comeback? It's not a rude question. Why not just say alot k"h or a nice bunch etc.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:07 pm

Interesting. It's a very normal question. People get confused when you don't answer.

Why not just be honest and tell them you don't like saying the exact number.

Tao

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:07 pm

Lol, and people like you peeve me LOL

each to their own! (Sorry, I have a thing about secretive people, they drive me crazier than almost anything else! I'm not asking about your bedroom life, I'm not asking about your bank account! LOL. But, I know I know, some people are not comfortable sharing everything, it's not my business, it could trigger people, you never know what's going on.......what can I say? I still get peeved! LOL

)

jd1212

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Baruch Hashem, they keep us busy!

amother

Bottlebrush

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

I like that answer. It's nobody's business. And besides ayin hara there could be many valid reasons people don't want to share. Sometimes people have losses, or SIF, or other things that are real foot in mouth. Just let them get away with it. Asking twice is socially off and rude.

Tao

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:15 pm

amother Birch wrote:

Oh gosh. This is my pet peeve.
Why?? Why can't you just answer...

Yup! Same! Lol. I've heard all the reasons why people don't want to say. If someone ch"v lost a child, I can understand that it's a terribly painful question (although from their side I do think they should acknowlegde that it's a perfectly normal one). This is not the case with most people who don't like this question though; they just have a shtuss about it LOL

We're all entitled to our shtussim. Mine is being annoyed by people who can't answer questions normally!

amother

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:31 pm

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

Seems like we're the minority. Is there nobody other than us 2 who don't like putting a number on our children? And I'm generally not a secretive person.

And when I said comeback, I didn't mean because the question was out of line. All I'm looking for is a nice way to say "I'd rather not say".

Tao

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why can't you just say that? Honestly, just say what you mean, people. People like me, who think it's immature/weird/can't understand the whole deal, will still think that way no matter how you phrase it. And people who agree with you, will probably be fine with an "I'd rather not say". So just say that!

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you mean this literally? Because if that's the case, give a list of names.

writinggirl

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:36 pm

I never ask! If I care enough about the exact number, that means I have what to do with the person. And in that case I usually talk to them enough that I know about their life and get a feel for how many kids they have..

tweety1

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm actually with you all the way. I don't either like saying a number. I had a sefardisha neighbor years ago. Huge family Kah. Never ever did she give a number when somebody asked her. I bh have a nice family, I bh have a nice family and this is a recording......

amother

Bottlebrush

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:41 pm

I don't want comments! How many children I have is none of your business. And if I say how many children I have, I do get comments. Whether my family is especially large or especially small, or not exactly the right size you expect of someone, my age and of my affiliation. Or if you're trying to calculate my age based on my number of children. None of your business.

Tao

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:41 pm

"Hi, Mazel tov for the new baby! We'd like to set up a meal train. How many portions should we tell people to make?"
"More than a handful, bH"
"......Um.....ok"

"Hi, would your daughter be interested in babysitting? I have a simcha tomorrow and I'm really desperate!"
"Sure, how many kids do you have?"
"More than a handful, bH"
".....ok.....I'm not sure she's available....."

jd1212

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:42 pm

In general I never ask this question because if you don’t have kids or not as many as you’d like, it can be painful to be asked. If you really want to know, ask someone else IMO.

amother

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:42 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

Do you mean this literally? Because if that's the case, give a list of names.

That's a great idea, they'd prob lose count after naming the first 3 or 4 LOL

lamplighter

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 7:43 pm

Isn't this why we say Kah or BaH after the number?
I'm team this is really bizarre, either answer the question normally or say I'd rather not say. All these euphemisms don't make it any better.