Pesach is my favorite YT AMA

amother

Salmon

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:31 am

How?
Please teach me?
I truly want to enjoy it
BUT
I feel like a slave.

I’m an empty nester, so usually it’s just DH and I during the yr.

BUT - the kids want to come over. The problem is they want a vacation so they treat my home as a resort.

I’m organized
I start cleaning early
I start freezing what I can early.

By the time Chol Hamoed comes I feel like a slave about to explode.
The house is super messy (which I’m not use to)
Everyone wants something to eat at all hours.
When they prepare something they leave a huge mess behind.

I didn’t raise them like this. I raised them to help and be grateful. They became like this after marriage

Please teach me to enjoy Pesach instead of dreading it
😭

BTW- next week I’m starting Spring cleaning

And I have cleaning help, but for Pesach it’s not enough

amother

Oleander

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:36 am

I also love Pesach. my kids and hubby too
We budget carefully and have little or no cleaning help to prepare.
here's how it works
I only begin after Purim, only prep on Sundays.
My husband helps mega with the cleaning FROM AFTER PURIM. so cleaning isn't my job it's a family job. I try not to do too much spring cleaning at the time.

We changeover kitchen 4 whole days bf chag....cook solid with kids totally involved and upbeat music on.
I cook only basics and (we peel and don't buy anything) easy.
We only use paperware (I do use regular cutlery).
we have guests depending on the year and how much time I have for cooking.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:45 am

I love all yomim tovim. They are all super special and so much fun! I really look forward to yt.
I love pesach. I find that I do very basic prep. I don't go crazy. I love cooking and baking for pesach and put in a small pesach kitchen for that. I spend lots of time baking there. I happen not to like cleaning and dh does most of it. I have regular cleaning help and take an extra day before yt. My house is cleaned every week thoroughly so there isn't much to do special for pesach besides the kitchen and dining room. I don't go crazy at all and there is no stress. We love having sedarim with just our kids. It's so special. Second days I like having company.

Ema of 5

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:52 am

amother Oleander wrote:

I change my kitchen over a few days before also, and that’s when I start cooking.
I do have pesach plates and silverware, and that’s what we use, even on chop hamoed (unless I somehow manage to convince him that plastic is ok- like over a 3 day chag or if the first night is Friday night)

Ema of 5

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:53 am

amother Burgundy wrote:

I love all yomim tovim. They are all super special and so much fun! I really look forward to yt.
I love pesach. I find that I do very basic prep. I don't go crazy. I love cooking and baking for pesach and put in a small pesach kitchen for that. I spend lots of time baking there. I happen not to like cleaning and dh does most of it. I have regular cleaning help and take an extra day before yt. My house is cleaned every week thoroughly so there isn't much to do special for pesach besides the kitchen and dining room.I don't go crazy at all and there is no stress. We love having sedarim with just our kids. It's so special. Second days I like having company.

Same, except that I do an extra deep cleaning in my kitchen and my extra fridge. I also have liners in both of my fridges all year round and replace them as needed. Having them definitely makes cleaning the fridges easier.

Last edited by Ema of 5 on Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:55 am; edited 1 time in total

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 11:55 am

I love Pesach and I have no cleaning help. I just like the freshness after we've done all the hard work and the togetherness and that my kids feel more connected because they've learned more than any other yom tov in terms of connecting to the ruchniyus of it. I love taking out my Pesach dishes and getting away with simpler cooking than other YT....

Last edited by Hashem_Yaazor on Thu, Feb 01 2024, 7:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:32 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

Is it possible for you to tell yourself it’s 10 days of a messy house and once they’re gone it’s over? How about using more disposable dishes? getting more cleaning help while they’re there? Having a conversation with them?

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:37 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

Go away for pesach and let your kids with spouses fend for themselves!

amother

Moccasin

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 1:04 pm

I love pesach so much. As a kid it was a really tense yom tov. No joy and just rules and screaming if things fell on the floor etc.

Now I go all out. Gorgeous tablescapes, heaven food, baked goods in lucite containers not just foil pans….
My kids love pesach as well. We’re counting down here.
Without fail every year when we sit down at the first Seder I get very emotional. I watch my personal geulah from a little abused girl in a dysfunctional family to a mother of a beautiful loving family

Ema of 5

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 6:45 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

That’s very very hard, and I don’t know that I would enjoy either. I think you need to sit them down (in person or on the phone) and set some rules.

-eating only in designated areas
-mom is not doing everything, everyone needs to help with prep, setting, serving, clearing, etc.
-mom is not a baby sitter and would also like to rest
-toys need to be cleaned up before meals and before bedtime
-any other guidelines you need

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:02 pm

I really, really want to love Pesach. I hate that I don't enjoy it.

Firstly, it feels like the most expensive YT and money just flies out the window. I don't buy expensive meats - that's well out of our budget. But, during the year, I rarely buy Jewish brand groceries as they are way more expensive (before you comment, you don't know where I live. If this isn't the case for you, count yourself lucky!) On pesach though we only buy the Jewish brands, which are approximately 4 times the price. So just on groceries alone, not counting meat and round matzah, which are huge expenses, the grocery bill is in the hundreds of dollars, for one week. It's a tremendous financial strain, and I try hard to avoid extras (but at the same time want to make YT special for my kids, so I do splurge on one or two sorts of candy etc)

Secondly, I'm the type who likes to be prepared. With other Yomim Tovim, I start weeks in advance, and slowly fill up my freezer. Then, I get to YT relaxed, with loads of great food in my freezer and minimal stress. Being last-minute makes me extremely nervous. With Pesach, doing things in advance is not an option. We only turn over a few days before as we live in an apartment and it's just not possible to turn over earlier - unless we buy takeout for 3 weeks before, which we absolutely can't afford. I don't do well with these overnight cooking marathons, and I don't have a lot of help.

Thirdly, I hate cleaning. I only do what's absolutely necessary acording to halacha, but even that is a lot for me.

And fourthly, once I get to YT, and my kitchen is finally pesachdig, I spend basically all chol hamoed in the kitchen because there are no quick and easy meals/snacks on pesach. Pesach cake is not filling the way chametz cake is. So, it's real food, and all the time. Plus don't have my regular appliances, so everything just takes so much longer, and was told its problematic to kasher a dishwasher, so left with all the dishes to wash (another thing I hate).

Any tips would be very, very, very much appreciated!

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:43 pm

So many people are saying they love Pesach. For those of you who do, please can you give us your tips on:

a) cleaning with not a lot of help
b) paying for the YT when regular life is difficult enough, but Pesach time expenses are next level
c) the constant cooking and cleaning (I don't mind cooking in regular doses, but don't enjoy a the stress of having to make so much in so little time)