Dh thinks I am being underpaid.....

amother

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 10:47 am

I know that alot of imamothers strongly felt that my husband shouldn't call.
Thing is that he actually has a really smart way of talking and is great with knowing what to say and saying it in a convincing way.
I honestly feel like he can give over the reason why I need a raise better than I can.
I tend to get nervous with these things...
What do u think?

amother

Viola

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 10:50 am

My DH would most definitely get the job done better than me. I get flustered and emotional and it’s hard for me to be assertive and stand up for myself. That being said, I would NEVER ask my husband to interfere with something between me and my boss. He may get the job done better, but ur boss can be left with a really negative feeling towards you (as I would.)

amother

Watermelon

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 10:56 am

amother OP wrote:

I think it’s the cringiest thing and if you were my employee I would lose all respect for you or think you’re in a controlling marriage and pity you.

I work for a corporate company though. Maybe the culture is different at your workplace.

amother

Lightyellow

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 10:57 am

amother OP wrote:

Absolutely not. You are an adult. It looks ridiculous having your dh call your boss for you. If you can work you can ask for a raise yourself.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 11:00 am

amother OP wrote:

Can you try role playing with him and practicing a script to say?
He doesn't work for them, he is not party to the negotiation.

amother

Clematis

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 11:15 am

amother OP wrote:

I totally get you. I wouldn't but if your hsuband is friendly with your boss anyway then it's ok if he asks for it.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 11:45 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for this reply and thanks to all of you who took the time to share your thoughts.
I agree with the above post, even though when I started there 8 years ago technically anyone could have done and learned on the job...right now I have alot of responsibility there and take care of many important things.
I know the ins and outs of the government programs very well and realistically it would take a long time for them to train someone else into doing everything that I do. (besides for that, I would probably need to do the training as no one else at my office knows my job as well)
I am definitely going to ask for a raise, the question is how much?
Can I jump from $30 to $40 an hour? Or is it too much of an ask keeping in mind that they are tight...

I'd say be as daring as you could when asking for a raise.

I'm in a very different job but similar in that I started with no knowledge but now know the ins and outs. DH also said I'm being underpaid and I'm worth much more. I literally asked for like a $40 increase and I got it (part time job) - after being raised $5-10 the year before. You gotta know who you're dealing with though. I knew they really need me and that can swing it.

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 11:53 am

amother Cerise wrote:

I disagree. I think it makes sense to find out market rate and ask for reasonably similar.

A $40 per hour raise for a secretary/office admin who’s not taking on significantly more responsibility is unheard of- you are a major exception.

I do think she can ask for a $10/hour raise but they may only meet her halfway. She can ask for another raise next year.

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 11:55 am

And op this is what I do:

I prepare a list of things I’ve accomplished the last year and email to schedule a meeting with the boss. I bring the list at the meeeting but so far never had to use it. I explain that I’d like to discuss a raise and give the amount I’m looking for. Then I’m quiet and wait for boss to respond (that important bec you don’t want to accidentally say anything to sell yourself short)

amother

Brass

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can I ask you to explain what DOE salary means and how it would change things?
My boss is not so knowledgeable in the business world so I'm wandering if that would confuse him

The programs you apply for your school
For example you are the office manager for headstart or after school - but that also means that you might get paid 10 months instead of 12( which many brooklyn schools do- they divide the salary into 12)
You mentioned that you do payroll and government programs. This should be done with the administration and bookkeeping office. If your school is very small and doesn’t have a big programming budget- it might not be applicable.

amother

Mintgreen

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

It comes across as very unprofessional. If you want to assert yourself in a confident manner that shows you are an asset and an employee who knows her worth, you need to be the one to do it, not your husband.

amother

DarkViolet

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:10 pm

Growing wrote:

Wow
You people should get private tips or something
I'm totally in awe
You really do deserve to earn more

That is absolutely adorable. But in reality, people gift their MDs after a birth and may send cookies to the office or hospital unit, but they don’t really send to the aide who bathed him or MSW who help with dad’s hospital discharge planning post cardiac surgery.
I believe we deserve to earn more, but in the real world it is considered a decent salary. If you look at salaries for my area on glassdoor/indeed… they are competitive.
It is actually not considered ethical for me to accept tips, though my patients to write heartfelt thank you notes and send homemade (non-kosher) cookies for the holidays, and one knit me a scarf out of acrylic $0.99 yarn. It was so appreciated and a labor of love, but doesn’t pay bills or buy my DD the in jacket. In reality patients can’t tip me, they are on Medicaid/section 8/LIS and really can’t afford to. They are genuinely poor-tattered clothes and shoes, unsanitary crowded housings, very little to eat, no savings or hidden assets……. The few who aren’t Medicare are so upset by how high their copay/coinsurance are, that they are not looking to spend more.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:21 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

I don't see where we disagree.
Lol I know this level of a jump is an exception. I'm just saying don't be afraid to be daring. Of course it must be sort of within market range, but keep in mind experience is often worth a lot so don't be afraid to go to the higher end of that or even a bit above, and give room for negotiation (which honestly I expected but they gave me the full that I asked for!)

amother

Antiquewhite

Fri, Feb 02 2024, 1:41 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

I’m glad that worked but in many workplaces that would come off really badly.

amother

Sat, Feb 03 2024, 5:56 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

This. The culture at my workplace is not professional at all, It's the kind of place where we all feel that we are working together to help the yeshiva.
I know more about my work than my boss does and understands. He often comes to me with questions.
My husband has spoken to him a few times about things not related to my job.
That's why I'm still debating if it will make me look stupid if my husband calls...
This is very different than a typical professional office setting

amother

Cerise

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:42 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

I’m glad that worked but in many workplaces that would come off really badly.

Right. Every situation is different. You have to know who you're dealing with and ask accordingly. (Personally it was no longer worth it for me, I'd rather lose my job than stay with that pay.)

I'm in no way saying she should ask for that much. Just saying to not be afraid to ask for how much she's worth/the point at which it would still pay for them to keep her rather than train someone new.

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 8:26 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

That is an incredibly high salary for basic office work with no degree. And a huge raise over only 8 years.

I work in Monsey in the book keeping field for a large corporation. I have 20 yrs experience and earn about $31.25 an hour . I started off at this job at $25 an hour 4 yrs ago.
I do receive benefits , 75% of health insurance premiums paid , 401k plan with employer matching 50%, lots of PTO, various other financial benefits . I also have lots of flexibility in terms of working remotely or in the office. So if you calculate all that into it , it ends up being more than just $31.25 an hour , but I still feel like it’s low compared to what frum offices are paying and what I’ve been paid by frum employers in the past.

Teacher_EW

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 8:38 am

amother OP wrote:

I am definitely going to ask for a raise, the question is how much?
Can I jump from $30 to $40 an hour? Or is it too much of an ask keeping in mind that they are tight...

I think you are better off negotiating for a smaller raise, yet one on a consistent basis. Most schools will sign a new contract with their staff yearly, and that is the time for a small $1-$3 per hour raise. I think it's the big jump that scares bosses. A minimal raise every year feels less overwhelming to the school, and ultimately you end up in a similar position. Think about it, you have been raised $10 in 8 years. And each time was a big deal. Had you gotten a dollar or two raise every year, you might be even farther ahead than you are now, without the drama of a big ask.... Additionally, getting a yearly raise can help you feel valued and like your school really wants you.

Regarding your husband calling for you, I know it is common in some communities, but I don't like it. It feels unprofessional and can make your school see you as less of an authority in your own right.

Good luck!