New neighbors play the drums

amother

Lemon

Sat, Feb 03 2024, 10:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

They moved in a month ago. Idk if it’s new or they just moved it from their previous house. It’s very loud. Dh thinks they should get an electric drum set instead. Wwyd

Unless they play at night or early morning, then there's nothing you can do.
DH doesn’t get a say if they should get an electric set or not.....

amother

Lemon

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 12:31 am

amother OP wrote:

Isn’t it rude to play very loud drums in a private house in a quite street?

No, not during regular daytime hours.
If your windows are open, try keeping them closed.

amother

Pear

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 12:32 am

amother Lemon wrote:

No, not during regular daytime hours.
If your windows are open, try keeping them closed.

This. Not so fun for the neighbors but not rude. If it’s late or early that you can ask…

amother

Amber

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 12:38 am

amother OP wrote:

Isn’t it rude to play very loud drums in a private house in a quite street?

No. My dd plays drums. We live in an attached rental and the only time I make her stop is if she starts playing late at night.

Maybe get white noise machines.

amother

Tulip

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:09 am

Honestly, I do think it’s rude. I think doing anything deliberate and unnecessary that impacts your neighbours’ enjoyment of their own homes is rude. Babies crying, not rude. Playing the drums or sax, rude.

I am not from America and do not subscribe to the “my individual rights trump everyone else’s comfort” mindset. I think it creates an unpleasant society.

amother

Magnolia

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:16 am

amother Tulip wrote:

This is a good point. It's cultural. Where do you live, op? In America it would be considered acceptable during daytime hours to play drums, and probably rude to ask them to stop.

groisamomma

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:17 am

amother Tulip wrote:

So someone that plays drums shouldn’t practice?

amother

Crimson

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:48 am

We live in an apartment and the neighbors directly above us have drums. It drives us mad when their son plays right over our heads. I do think it's rude and inappropriate for an apartment, but I bite my tongue unless he plays after 8 p.m. when my kids are in bed or on a fast day when we're trying to rest. He does accommodate when I call to complain.

amother

Lemon

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 10:20 am

DrMom wrote:

Oof, that's rough. I agree there is not a lot you can do.

Do you share a wall with them (is this an apartment situation or are we talking about physical separate houses)?

OP says it's a private house.
So there's really nothing they can do. They're entitled to play drums at a normal hour.

amother

Tuberose

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 10:32 am

That is so annoying! A drum could really drive one nuts! I had a neighbor like that and I literally felt the vibrations sometimes! It was so so so nerve wrecking!
There may not be much you can do but it's possible that your neighbor doesn't realize that the noise gets all the way to your house. My neighbor was right above my apartment.
Can you borrow a drum from someone and have your kids play it in so she'll see that the sound travels farther than she may realize? and she'll understand what it feels like to you when her kids play the drum.
You can even call her up to ask her if she's ok with having your kids drumming. Maybe she'll realize that it's nice to be considerate about it.

amother

Moccasin

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 10:59 am

groisamomma wrote:

So someone that plays drums shouldn’t practice?

I guess they can but it's also normal for neighbors to be resentful.

If a neighbor moved in right next door to you and played drums all day with their windows open, (which is within their rights) you'd feel pretty aggravated.

There's a fine line between something that is legal but not neighborly.

amother

IndianRed

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 11:07 am

My younger brother played the drums and my parents made him keep the drum set in the basement and only practice during the day. I don't think the neighbors ever complained.

Drums may be loud, but they don't hurt the ears with a missed note the way other instruments do. Be glad you're not living to a beginner violinist!

Plonis bas Plonis

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 11:31 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

If you start playing the drums or ask your neighbor if you can, you may be giving the wrong impression that you are fine with her son playing.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 11:31 am

Hashem gave us electric drums and headphones for this reason. Do you really want on your conscience that you bothered people, kept babies awake, cause headaches or migraines etc. Is this what Hashem wants from us? to be so selfish? The drummer can achieve the same practice and enjoyment by using the headphones. Can your child play in a studio or school or music room somewhere?
Think of the schar he will get for this consideration.
I remember Rabbanim waiting till erev Sukkos to build their sukka so as not to bother neighbors. It was held to their zechus.
Face it , drums (and cymbals) are noisy, annoying and painful to the ears.

amother

Moccasin

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 11:58 am

[quote="B'Syata D'Shmya"]Hashem gave us electric drums and headphones for this reason. Do you really want on your conscience that you bothered people, kept babies awake, cause headaches or migraines etc. Is this what Hashem wants from us? to be so selfish? The drummer can achieve the same practice and enjoyment by using the headphones. Can your child play in a studio or school or music room somewhere?
Think of the schar he will get for this consideration.
I remember Rabbanim waiting till erev Sukkos to build their sukka so as not to bother neighbors. It was held to their zechus.
Face it , drums (and cymbals) are noisy, annoying and painful to the ears.[/quote]

1. I'm triggered when we try to use logic and reason to why hashem gave us xyz. Unless the entire picture makes sense then we can't choose bits and pieces that seem logical. Meaning when we know why hashem gave cancer, miscarriages, divorce, and abuse, then you can explain why hashem gave electric drums.

2. A drummer is not able to achieve everything with an electric set. They can't play live music for people. They can't practice in a band with others.

.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 12:49 pm

amother Moccasin wrote:

1. I'm triggered when we try to use logic and reason to why hashem gave us xyz. Unless the entire picture makes sense then we can't choose bits and pieces that seem logical. Meaning when we know why hashem gave cancer, miscarriages, divorce, and abuse, then you can explain why hashem gave electric drums.

2. A drummer is not able to achieve everything with an electric set. They can't play live music for people. They can't practice in a band with others.

.

Its an expression and feel free to ignore and move on. ( the topic at hand is drumming that bothers neighbors, which may be a form of abuse, loud noises can harm fetus's hearing * is univerally annoying - no different than if a terrible stench was emanating from a neighbors home or other unpleasant stimuli).

I also wrote that they can also practice in music rooms that are built for this purpose.

* https://www.thebump.com/a/feta.....nancy