Bp girls discipline elementary

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 6:29 pm

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone can share how their girls schools do discipline? Like if a girl calls out in class, or is chutzpadik to the teachers what happens? Do you find your kid gets expelled, talked to, you get asked to take more steps at home?
Trying to navigate some challenging situations and could use some chizuk, camaraderie, help, kindness, lol just reaching out among of course speaking to our school and dovening thanks!

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:27 pm

Calling out in class and outright chutzpah are 2 different things and won’t be dealt with the same way.
I always tell my kids that there is no place for chutzpah and they have to be very careful how they speak. I tell them that people like them because they’re nice. No one will really admire them for being chutzpahdik.
I tell my kids that the first thing I check when I get their report cards is the ‘conduct’ mark. I would be way more upset if they got a bad mark in derech eretz than in a regular subject.
So much of their behavior/middos comes from home. The school has to feel like you are on the same page.
Don’t fight the school if your child is not acting properly.

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 9:08 pm

Thank you all so much. No of course I’m not fighting the school and we r very grateful how communicative they r and willing to work with us. That being said I was having a mothering moment of just feeling sad, like we do model good midos and have good midos and no this is not a reflection of our home. And she’s a good kid. And somehow is struggling now and it’s just hard to be told I may have to go pick her up for negative behavior that’s all, was sort of looking here for others’ experience and words of wisdom.
Thanks so much Smile

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Feb 04 2024, 9:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

How old is she?
Is this new behavior?
Do you think she needs to see a therapist or be evaluated?

amother

Carnation

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 9:33 am

[quote="amother Slateblue"]Calling out in class and outright chutzpah are 2 different things and won’t be dealt with the same way.
I always tell my kids that there is no place for chutzpah and they have to be very careful how they speak. I tell them that people like them because they’re nice. No one will really admire them for being chutzpahdik.
I tell my kids that the first thing I check when I get their report cards is the ‘conduct’ mark. I would be way more upset if they got a bad mark in derech eretz than in a regular subject.
So much of their behavior/middos comes from home. The school has to feel like you are on the same page.
Don’t fight the school if your child is not acting properly.[/quot

Perhaps. That being said, there is usually a reason underlying 'poor conduct.' Most children don't wake up and decide to cause 'trouble.' Is it possible that there is an underlying learning issue not being addressed and she is acting out because of frustration? Are there social challenges? Sometimes anxiety or ADHD may be the underlying cause.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 3:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Please only talk to moms who struggled with kids. The other moms are all into behavior reflects the home. Humans are complicated and life situations are made up of miniscule details that are as numerous as the see.
This is YOUR path and your daughters. The only thing you need to do is your best. Enjoy your daughter davka during the rough paths...

amother

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 5:08 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Thank you that was beautiful! She has minor behavioral challenges and supports and has grown leaps and bounds over the years. This talking out in class/lack of respect to teachers is a new thing this year last couple months. There’s not too much else we can add, like maybe more hours of support but that takes time, etc.

amother

Pink

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 5:11 pm

Have them do a behavioral chart with her. She gets tickets for not calling, expressing herself nicely every x amount of time, after a few days or the end of the week she earns a prize. Based on what you described sounds like it would work for her.