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Forum
-> Shopping
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:30 pm
Wondering something that seems so simple but somehow eludes me. I honestly want to understand this phenomenon and ask that posters please keep their replies in check. No bashing please.
Years ago there were the well to do or rich people, the middle class, and those that struggled, and obviously levels within each. People usually shopped within their means and dressed accordingly. Nowadays it seems like everyone everywhere is upper crust, higher end, and takes clothing very seriously. And those that don’t pride themselves in buying outrageously expensive clothes resort to sites such as Ali and shein and temu wearing the same thing for less money.
I’m wondering where the comfort is in spending as much as one has? Be it Zara or h and m or century or children’s place and target. Why the need to wear logos and impress and outdo each other.
I also noted that children sport names like kenzo and lagerfeld and wynken splashed across their chest. These T-shirt’s have nothing but a signature? What’s the appeal? Why the need to wear such things? Are we as a generation with such low self esteem that wearing someone else’s name make us feel better?
I guess my question is 2 fold
1) why the need to wear expensive clothing, authentic or otherwise?
2) why the need to wear brand names openly with signatures across the clothing,
To those that will say they like their children well dressed, I question if you mean well dressed to mean branded and cheap. Seldom do I find children dressed in understated elegance as Royal children do.
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amother
Stoneblue
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:43 pm
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I think our generation is lost. There is no connection to yiddishkeit. Everything is done by rote, everyone just wants to make sure they are following “the rules” because gd forbid you do otherwise. The internal is missing. The love for Hashem and his Torah is missing. So everyone is turning outward to external narishkeit like clothing brands. It doesn’t help that Jewish magazines are compliant in this, too. I’ve since stopped buying them because the amount of ads was insane. Overconsumption and ostentatious displays of wealth (or fake wealth) are gross, but it speaks to how lost so many frum yidden are. Who exactly are you trying to impress putting your baby in a designer outfit? Hashem does not care.
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amother
Antiquewhite
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:47 pm
For many ppl it comes from a deep need to fit in.
For others, it’s an art and fun. Jewish clothes are so pretty and cute.
And yet for others, the more they have the more they need. The more there is, the more they need. It’s a longing and lust for “things”
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amother
OP
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:47 pm
| amother Stoneblue wrote: | | I think our generation is lost. There is no connection to yiddishkeit. Everything is done by rote, everyone just wants to make sure they are following “the rules” because gd forbid you do otherwise. The internal is missing. The love for Hashem and his Torah is missing. So everyone is turning outward to external narishkeit like clothing brands. It doesn’t help that Jewish magazines are compliant in this, too. I’ve since stopped buying them because the amount of ads was insane. Overconsumption and ostentatious displays of wealth (or fake wealth) are gross, but it speaks to how lost so many frum yidden are. Who exactly are you trying to impress putting your baby in a designer outfit? Hashem does not care. |
Thanks for that. Yes it feels like it and you said it so respectfully and eloquently.
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amother
Ultramarine
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:51 pm
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What's the difference between shein and childrens place? I also don't know anyone who wears names across their clothing. I always wonder who the stores are selling those to. The appeal with shein and ali are the dirt cheap prices that you can't find anywhere else. Old navy, children place, zara all cost much more. So I'm a bit lost with all the mixed points.
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:00 pm
| amother Ultramarine wrote: | | What's the difference between shein and childrens place? I also don't know anyone who wears names across their clothing. I always wonder who the stores are selling those to. The appeal with shein and ali are the dirt cheap prices that you can't find anywhere else. Old navy, children place, zara all cost much more. So I'm a bit lost with all the mixed points. |
Not really. I got a bunch of dresses for my daughter in H&M / Target for $5-$8 each
Shein/Ali is closer to $20 for the Jewish knockoffs
Granted, she's not yet old enough that I need to worry about sleeve length and necklines, but I saw plenty of options that could totally work
(And yes I live in lakewood)
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:02 pm
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Not sure why you think this is new. When I was in high school 20+ years ago this existed. Brand names were a thing. Status symbol items everyone just had to have. Logo or name printed on the clothing/item. Ein chadash tachas hashemesh
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amother
Ultramarine
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:03 pm
| amother Razzmatazz wrote: | Not really. I got a bunch of dresses for my daughter in H&M / Target for $5-$8 each
Shein/Ali is closer to $20 for the Jewish knockoffs
Granted, she's not yet old enough that I need to worry about sleeve length and necklines, but I saw plenty of options that could totally work
(And yes I live in lakewood) |
Forget knock offs the rest of the stuff is $1-$5. I just looked at Zara and h and m and the stuff is $15-$30 maybe you can get a t shirt for $8. But I have big girls so we can only shop in Jewish stores now because the pre teen and teen stuff generally don’t work from those stores.
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amother
NeonOrange
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:50 pm
| amother Vermilion wrote: | | Not sure why you think this is new. When I was in high school 20+ years ago this existed. Brand names were a thing. Status symbol items everyone just had to have. Logo or name printed on the clothing/item. Ein chadash tachas hashemesh |
Gap
Hollister
Abercrombie
. My mother used to tell us you're not a billboard don't advertise for them
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amother
Clear
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:55 pm
| amother Stoneblue wrote: | | I think our generation is lost. There is no connection to yiddishkeit. Everything is done by rote, everyone just wants to make sure they are following “the rules” because gd forbid you do otherwise. The internal is missing. The love for Hashem and his Torah is missing. So everyone is turning outward to external narishkeit like clothing brands. It doesn’t help that Jewish magazines are compliant in this, too. I’ve since stopped buying them because the amount of ads was insane. Overconsumption and ostentatious displays of wealth (or fake wealth) are gross, but it speaks to how lost so many frum yidden are. Who exactly are you trying to impress putting your baby in a designer outfit? Hashem does not care. |
This is true but rephrase in a way to say that after years of galus and pain our generation numbed up and is looking for ways to feel good about ourselves or just do life and so externals and cloths and throwing huge simchas and impressing eveyone and al that stuff is all coming from a lack of connection to our core.
And honestly hashem needs to step in. He cant expect better.
I mean its been many many years since we last tasted ruchnius. We need hashem to come save us.
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amother
Blueberry
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:56 pm
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I always say the nisayon of our generation is materialism
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amother
Blueberry
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:57 pm
| amother Clear wrote: | This is true but rephrase in a way to say that after years of galus and pain our generation numbed up and is looking for ways to feel good about ourselves or just do life and so externals and cloths and throwing huge simchas and impressing eveyone and al that stuff is all coming from a lack of connection to our core.
And honestly hashem needs to step in. He cant expect better.
I mean its been many many years since we last tasted ruchnius. We need hashem to come save us. |
I think Hashem did step in. Covid, October 7…
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amother
Glitter
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:58 pm
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Its funny because when I was high school age I was very into brand names and spent lots on designer items I outgrew it once I got married. When I see people covered head to in designer with logos it looks tacky to me. I live in a pretty posh neighborhood and dress very simply even though I can afford to spend on designer I have no desire for it. I think its important to choose who you. hang out with- that makes a big difference. If your friends are all these fancy dressed people thats all you will see but if you make different friends there are so many down to earth people.
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giftedmom
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 10:55 pm
I think a lot of it is personality and a little is circumstance.
Personality= personally I feel the same way as you because I’m an individualist and not a “stuff” person. I can’t relate to the need for social acceptance, the need to impress, or the need for nice things (I do have a need to be comfortable).
Circumstance = the way you were raised + if you actually have the means makes a difference. Most people I know who chase after designer don’t have much means. The ones who do have a toxic family culture of being perfect and impressing others.
All of this means I really can’t judge those who do these things. I wasn’t given that need and they were.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:08 pm
It's not only clothing.
There's this drive to have the absolute perfect best which 1) isn't always the same for everyone and 2) very good might be excellent enough.
Strollers for example: which has the absolute best push? I'm telling you an excellent push that's 95/100 will be totally fine and you don't need to spend hundreds of dollars more to get 100/100 (and also maybe lose other features that might be on a "lesser" stroller)
There's this fear that you might not get the perfect one and then maybe you're a failure... Because your kindergarten kid had last year's backpack in brand.
Chill, everyone. Relax. Very good is great!
My toddler ruins his clothing left and right. I'm so glad he used permanent marker on a $5 Target shirt and not the $70 matching with siblings frum brand option that if he ruined would ruin by default his siblings' opportunities for wearing their $70 accompanying piece.
ETA: in case it wasn't clear, I don't buy $70 articles of clothing, even for my teenagers except boys' suits as needed.
And my toddler doesn't need to match siblings. We're happy with clothing that my kids pick out on their own and want to wear on any given day. I have no interest in trying to match a boy with sisters.
Last edited by Hashem_Yaazor on Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:32 pm; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Clover
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:11 pm
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Definitely a lot of peer pressure. One would how to grow out of that after 8th grade but we are humans. We like to fit in and feel accepted.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:13 pm
By the way it’s not the frum brands that are the problem I’m referring to. There are so many brands like mar mar piupichcik (don’t mind the spelling) and boss that are now uniform.
I remember when Benetton and gap were in. Yes they were in and yes ‘everyone’ wore them but you weren’t funny if you didn’t. These days it’s almost like the person is a leper if they don’t conform.
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amother
Yarrow
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:15 pm
| Hashem_Yaazor wrote: | It's not only clothing.
There's this drive to have the absolute perfect best which 1) isn't always the same for everyone and 2) very good might be excellent enough.
Strollers for example: which has the absolute best push? I'm telling you an excellent push that's 95/100 will be totally fine and you funny need to spend hundreds of dollars more to get 100/100 (and also maybe lose other features that might be on a "lesser" stroller)
There's this fear that you might not get the perfect one and then maybe you're a failure... Because your kindergarten kid had last year's backpack in brand.
Chill, everyone. Relax. Very good is great!
My toddler ruins his clothing left and right. I'm so glad he used permanent marker on a $5 Target shirt and not the $70 matching with siblings frum brand option that if he ruined would ruin by default his siblings' opportunities for wearing their $70 accompanying piece. |
Omg frum store sells for $70?
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amother
Oatmeal
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:17 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Wondering something that seems so simple but somehow eludes me. I honestly want to understand this phenomenon and ask that posters please keep their replies in check. No bashing please.
Years ago there were the well to do or rich people, the middle class, and those that struggled, and obviously levels within each. People usually shopped within their means and dressed accordingly. Nowadays it seems like everyone everywhere is upper crust, higher end, and takes clothing very seriously. And those that don’t pride themselves in buying outrageously expensive clothes resort to sites such as Ali and shein and temu wearing the same thing for less money.
I’m wondering where the comfort is in spending as much as one has? Be it Zara or h and m or century or children’s place and target. Why the need to wear logos and impress and outdo each other.
I also noted that children sport names like kenzo and lagerfeld and wynken splashed across their chest. These T-shirt’s have nothing but a signature? What’s the appeal? Why the need to wear such things? Are we as a generation with such low self esteem that wearing someone else’s name make us feel better?
I guess my question is 2 fold
1) why the need to wear expensive clothing, authentic or otherwise?
2) why the need to wear brand names openly with signatures across the clothing,
To those that will say they like their children well dressed, I question if you mean well dressed to mean branded and cheap. Seldom do I find children dressed in understated elegance as Royal children do. |
Theres enough of us out there that dont do this. But you dont notice us because we dont stick out. I guess you assume we cant afford it...
BH I can afford to shop boutique clothing, and outfit my whole family in brand name clothes.
I choose not to. We shop in old navy, childrens place etc. Even Target.
I have friends who do the same.
Its a conscious decision.
No, we dont live OOT, we're in Monsey NY
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amother
DarkViolet
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 11:20 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Wondering something that seems so simple but somehow eludes me. I honestly want to understand this phenomenon and ask that posters please keep their replies in check. No bashing please.
Years ago there were the well to do or rich people, the middle class, and those that struggled, and obviously levels within each. People usually shopped within their means and dressed accordingly. Nowadays it seems like everyone everywhere is upper crust, higher end, and takes clothing very seriously. And those that don’t pride themselves in buying outrageously expensive clothes resort to sites such as Ali and shein and temu wearing the same thing for less money.
I’m wondering where the comfort is in spending as much as one has? Be it Zara or h and m or century or children’s place and target. Why the need to wear logos and impress and outdo each other.
I also noted that children sport names like kenzo and lagerfeld and wynken splashed across their chest. These T-shirt’s have nothing but a signature? What’s the appeal? Why the need to wear such things? Are we as a generation with such low self esteem that wearing someone else’s name make us feel better?
I guess my question is 2 fold
1) why the need to wear expensive clothing, authentic or otherwise?
2) why the need to wear brand names openly with signatures across the clothing,
To those that will say they like their children well dressed, I question if you mean well dressed to mean branded and cheap. Seldom do I find children dressed in understated elegance as Royal children do. |
All of kids cloths is from my SIL who buys expensive brand name cloths. I don't buy them.
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