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amother
Candycane
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 Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:21 pm
I'm in boro park and the pressure is real. The designer and jewish brands are crazy expensive and there's a pressure to have ur kids and yourself look just so. The country scene makes it much worse imo.
Many wear knockoffs, many don't. Many husband's cry about what their wives are spending. Husb friend confided that his wife bought 120 dollar shbs shirt for his 3 yo. He wanted to know if it's normal or if it's excessive. Unfortunately, it's not considered crazy!
I'm very frugal bit still want my kids to look part of it but I don't do brand names. I don't see the point in buying a mackage coat for 1200 if can get very nice in style coat for 400 without the symbol on sleeve.
But you can't take away the pressure. Many of those families also drive crazy expensive cars.
We grew up very budgeted and my mother used to say that only people on programs can afford designer stuff. If you're not paying rent, tuition, food, insurance.... then your whole income, that was prob paid off the books to qualify for all this, can go to clothing and extras.
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zaq
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:30 pm
1. As the upper echelons of a social group grow more affluent, their desire to prove their financial success increases. Given that wealth garners respect and admiration, lower echelons imitate the higher ones in an effort to gain similar respect.
2. Deny it though we may, frum society is deeply influenced by secular society. As materialism gathers force in the rest of the world, it does the same in the frum world.
3. Individuals in highly conformist circles are brought up with an unhealthy concern for "fitting in" regardless of their financial situation. The wealthy class being the social leaders, they set the standards, and the sheep follow.
4. Too much emphasis on other people's opinions and too little emphasis on being one's own person and living by one's own values. Parents, friends, neighbors, even educators often ask " what will people say?" instead of "what does common sense say?"
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amother
Hunter
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:34 pm
| amother OP wrote: | By the way it’s not the frum brands that are the problem I’m referring to. There are so many brands like mar mar piupichcik (don’t mind the spelling) and boss that are now uniform.
I remember when Benetton and gap were in. Yes they were in and yes ‘everyone’ wore them but you weren’t funny if you didn’t. These days it’s almost like the person is a leper if they don’t conform. |
Please. I don't but those brands. I'm not a leper. People who buy brand names for their kids have a sadness within them that they need to fill.
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zaq
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:34 pm
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I do want to point out that, while the Royal children wear clothes that are simple and understated, the look is deceptive. They still cost a king's ransom.
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amother
Hunter
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:35 pm
| amother Candycane wrote: | I'm in boro park and the pressure is real. The designer and jewish brands are crazy expensive and there's a pressure to have ur kids and yourself look just so. The country scene makes it much worse imo.
Many wear knockoffs, many don't. Many husband's cry about what their wives are spending. Husb friend confided that his wife bought 120 dollar shbs shirt for his 3 yo. He wanted to know if it's normal or if it's excessive. Unfortunately, it's not considered crazy!
I'm very frugal bit still want my kids to look part of it but I don't do brand names. I don't see the point in buying a mackage coat for 1200 if can get very nice in style coat for 400 without the symbol on sleeve.
But you can't take away the pressure. Many of those families also drive crazy expensive cars.
We grew up very budgeted and my mother used to say that only people on programs can afford designer stuff. If you're not paying rent, tuition, food, insurance.... then your whole income, that was prob paid off the books to qualify for all this, can go to clothing and extras. |
Sorry. $400 for a coat is excessive.
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amother
Hunter
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:43 pm
| amother Candycane wrote: | I'm in boro park and the pressure is real. The designer and jewish brands are crazy expensive and there's a pressure to have ur kids and yourself look just so. The country scene makes it much worse imo.
Many wear knockoffs, many don't. Many husband's cry about what their wives are spending. Husb friend confided that his wife bought 120 dollar shbs shirt for his 3 yo. He wanted to know if it's normal or if it's excessive. Unfortunately, it's not considered crazy!
I'm very frugal bit still want my kids to look part of it but I don't do brand names. I don't see the point in buying a mackage coat for 1200 if can get very nice in style coat for 400 without the symbol on sleeve.
But you can't take away the pressure. Many of those families also drive crazy expensive cars.
We grew up very budgeted and my mother used to say that only people on programs can afford designer stuff. If you're not paying rent, tuition, food, insurance.... then your whole income, that was prob paid off the books to qualify for all this, can go to clothing and extras. |
You're allowing the pressure to be real. I live in BP, too. I don't buy these insane clothing. You're being pressured by some sad empty neshomos.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:44 pm
| amother Oatmeal wrote: | Theres enough of us out there that dont do this. But you dont notice us because we dont stick out. I guess you assume we cant afford it...
BH I can afford to shop boutique clothing, and outfit my whole family in brand name clothes.
I choose not to. We shop in old navy, childrens place etc. Even Target.
I have friends who do the same.
Its a conscious decision.
No, we dont live OOT, we're in Monsey NY |
Don’t jump to conclusions about me ;-)
I don’t dress my kids like that either. I live in the heart of poshness and am surrounded by children and adults wearing uniforms of brands. I’m just wondering what makes people do that if they don’t have the money.
Let’s face it, not everyone does. And why not save more? So many people living in such small rentals, complaining about the situation but then there goes a skirt for a 5 year old for 238. Don’t get me wrong, the skirt is (prolly) gorgeous and great quality and yada yada but still…
There will always be the haves and the have nots but it’s disproportionately looking like most are haves…
Then there are all those parties, go fund me, threads about not covering.
That’s what niggling me
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amother
Zinnia
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:16 pm
That just created more of a wound in the people I know. It actually killed my relationship with Hashem but that’s a story for another thread.
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amother
Zinnia
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Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:18 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Don’t jump to conclusions about me ;-)
I don’t dress my kids like that either. I live in the heart of poshness and am surrounded by children and adults wearing uniforms of brands. I’m just wondering what makes people do that if they don’t have the money.
Let’s face it, not everyone does. And why not save more? So many people living in such small rentals, complaining about the situation but then there goes a skirt for a 5 year old for 238. Don’t get me wrong, the skirt is (prolly) gorgeous and great quality and yada yada but still…
There will always be the haves and the have nots but it’s disproportionately looking like most are haves…
Then there are all those parties, go fund me, threads about not covering.
That’s what niggling me |
I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that the people creating threads about not covering their bills are buying expensive clothes for their kids. I’m one of the people that has created a thread like that and while my kids are dressed in expensive clothes, it’s because that’s what the people I get hand me downs buy. The rest of their wardrobe I buy from target mainly.
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DrMom
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 1:47 am
I think another aspect is the rise of fast-fashion and the widespread availability of cheap clothing manufactured in China in the last decade.
Like a designer look you saw on the runway? You can find a knock-off at Zara, and a cheaper version on Shein within 4 weeks.
If any poor shmo can dress in current, designer-eqsue clothing, there has to be another way to show that you are upper class, to show off your status. Hence, the rise of the importance of brands and conspicuous labels.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 2:48 am
| zaq wrote: | 1. As the upper echelons of a social group grow more affluent, their desire to prove their financial success increases. Given that wealth garners respect and admiration, lower echelons imitate the higher ones in an effort to gain similar respect.
2. Deny it though we may, frum society is deeply influenced by secular society. As materialism gathers force in the rest of the world, it does the same in the frum world.
3. Individuals in highly conformist circles are brought up with an unhealthy concern for "fitting in" regardless of their financial situation. The wealthy class being the social leaders, they set the standards, and the sheep follow.
4. Too much emphasis on other people's opinions and too little emphasis on being one's own person and living by one's own values. Parents, friends, neighbors, even educators often ask " what will people say?" instead of "what does common sense say?" |
THIS
Every word
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 2:50 am
| amother Candycane wrote: | I'm in boro park and the pressure is real. The designer and jewish brands are crazy expensive and there's a pressure to have ur kids and yourself look just so. The country scene makes it much worse imo.
Many wear knockoffs, many don't. Many husband's cry about what their wives are spending. Husb friend confided that his wife bought 120 dollar shbs shirt for his 3 yo. He wanted to know if it's normal or if it's excessive. Unfortunately, it's not considered crazy!
I'm very frugal bit still want my kids to look part of it but I don't do brand names. I don't see the point in buying a mackage coat for 1200 if can get very nice in style coat for 400 without the symbol on sleeve.
But you can't take away the pressure. Many of those families also drive crazy expensive cars.
We grew up very budgeted and my mother used to say that only people on programs can afford designer stuff. If you're not paying rent, tuition, food, insurance.... then your whole income, that was prob paid off the books to qualify for all this, can go to clothing and extras. |
$400 for a coat??!?? How is that normal???
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amother
Springgreen
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 2:55 am
The summer season is so short, not worth buying designer. Winter clothing is more worth it
Wait a few weeks into the season and it’s all on sale
I do that, so my kids will sometimes wear the designer, but for 60% off the ticketed price
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amother
Springgreen
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 2:56 am
Yeah, I splurge on $180 coats, never heard of $400 for kids.
It’s like either $100-$200 Jewish brands or like $600 and up designer
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 3:08 am
| amother Springgreen wrote: | Yeah, I splurge on $180 coats, never heard of $400 for kids.
It’s like either $100-$200 Jewish brands or like $600 and up designer |
$180 for a coat how is that normal???
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DrMom
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 3:13 am
| amother Candycane wrote: | I'm in boro park and the pressure is real. The designer and jewish brands are crazy expensive and there's a pressure to have ur kids and yourself look just so. The country scene makes it much worse imo.
Many wear knockoffs, many don't. Many husband's cry about what their wives are spending. Husb friend confided that his wife bought 120 dollar shbs shirt for his 3 yo. He wanted to know if it's normal or if it's excessive. Unfortunately, it's not considered crazy!
I'm very frugal bit still want my kids to look part of it but I don't do brand names. I don't see the point in buying a mackage coat for 1200 if can get very nice in style coat for 400 without the symbol on sleeve.
But you can't take away the pressure. Many of those families also drive crazy expensive cars.
We grew up very budgeted and my mother used to say that only people on programs can afford designer stuff. If you're not paying rent, tuition, food, insurance.... then your whole income, that was prob paid off the books to qualify for all this, can go to clothing and extras. |
What would happen if you don't give in to the pressure?
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corolla
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 3:20 am
Agree. I wouldn’t spend that much on myself, let alone a child.
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Trademark
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 3:33 am
| corolla wrote: | | Agree. I wouldn’t spend that much on myself, let alone a child. |
Just because you wouldn't spend that much doesn't mean it's not normal.
When I buy myself a coat or boots I don't mind paying a bit more to invest in a quality item that will keep me warm and last a few years.
Just because someone can't afford something doesn't mean when others do buy it it's not normal.
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salt
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 3:40 am
| Trademark wrote: | Just because you wouldn't spend that much doesn't mean it's not normal.
When I buy myself a coat or boots I don't mind paying a bit more to invest in a quality item that will keep me warm and last a few years.
Just because someone can't afford something doesn't mean when others do buy it it's not normal. |
So then if most people in a city or a community spend $400 on a coat, that is normal.
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Trademark
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Thu, Feb 08 2024, 4:32 am
| salt wrote: | | So then if most people in a city or a community spend $400 on a coat, that is normal. |
Where in my post did I define what's normal? Normal is a setting on the washing machine and everyone should do what's best for them.
Also the previous post was agreeing that $180 is expensive for a coat, not $400.
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