The standards of todays clothing

Miranda Wright

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:36 am

amother OP wrote:

By the way it’s not the frum brands that are the problem I’m referring to. There are so many brands like mar mar piupichcik (don’t mind the spelling) and boss that are now uniform.
I remember when Benetton and gap were in. Yes they were in and yes ‘everyone’ wore them but you weren’t funny if you didn’t. These days it’s almost like the person is a leper if they don’t conform.

What do you mean by a leper? Will you lose friendships? Will your family members stop coming to your house? Will someone push your kid off the slide at the park?

amother

Begonia

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:39 am

I want to point out about the expensive coats. Many people living in bp, Williamsburg walk everywhere so they need real down warm coats. Finding those at prices below 100 is not possible. I’m not talking about the horrific looking landsend ones either. That’s why so much is spent on coats and carriages they need to be quality. And many buy neutral
High end like moncler and pass down to the next kid.

fauxreal

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:46 am

amother Begonia wrote:

Thanks for this. I’m in BP and walk everywhere. Past winters I would freeze in a $100 coat. This year I could finally afford a $400 fully down coat.

I’m finally not suffering from cold. I actually enjoy walking to work to babysitter to grocery to mom to home.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:10 am

username11 wrote:

Yes but mashiach didn’t come after those events even after all we did so we get even more tired. we need the geula and positive connection to Hashem, not more suffering

Since the days of Yehoshua, it goes like this: we follow in the ways of Hashem, we get rewarded and have our land. We don’t, we get punished. We cry out and do teshuva… it’s a cycle.

It’s not about moshaich coming. It’s about doing teshuva.
I’m speaking to myself here as well. (I’ve increased tehillim tefillah and Torah learning in my life which automatically reduces my pull toward materialism. It’s still there but reduced.)

amother

Winterberry

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:26 am

amother Begonia wrote:

No one buys moncler for their kid for the quality. No one.
I have one for myself that cost 3,000$. My boys wear gap and my girls Scotch bonnet (the least I can get for social acceptance)

amother

Lavender

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:29 am

fauxreal wrote:

I live somewhere where it gets really cold. I bought myself a very very warm down coat for $116 from Nordstrom rack. You don’t “need” to spend $400 you just don’t

Highstrung

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:39 am

Is this exclusive to Lakewood , Williamsburg and BP and maybe the Five Towns? I don’t see this in Monsey . Yes, there are plenty people that do but you have an equal number of people who don’t . I have never felt like a leper . Neither do my family. Neither do my friends. Not my neighbors. Nor my coworkers.

I guess it’s now making sense to me how some say certain schools expect a down payment of $20k to get your kid into school . If you could afford this type of dress code you most likely could afford $20k.

And if you are wearing knockoffs and can’t afford the real thing. It’s time to get in touch with your authentic self and realize your worth is not based on what other people see or think of you. You have a pure neshama and we’re created in the image of HaShem. That makes you the same as the person who is a millionaire and could afford this lifestyle. Your value is within you.

If you like fashion as an expression of creativity and art , go ahead and have fun. You can do that without breaking the bank. The name of the designer does not show your creativity. It actually shows “look how creative Karl Lagerfeld was when he created this piece”.

Im speaking as someone who used to live for other peoples approval (which at the time made me feel valuable) . Not through the way I dressed , but in other forms. When I learned to see myself for who I really am at the core , the need for others to see me and notice me totally fell away.

But I understand, a big part of it is the communities we live in and many are afraid to veer away from what is considered social “norms”. I’m not judging . Just sharing my point of view on this matter .

amother

DarkCyan

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:55 am

BetsyTacy wrote:

I think this thread can be summed up by the imamother referring to Lands End coats as "horrific looking".
That is a level of materialism that is beyond me.

It’s even more. Some not rich people won’t buy the $200 coats on sale for $60 (I think they’re worth it) because it’s not the nicest style or color and will not be latest style.

peace2

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:01 am

The somewhat rich people I know wear name brands splashed on everything. The actually rich people don't because it's not classy. I'm sure their clothes cost plenty, but there's something tacky about brands on everything you own.
And if your kid looks cute and with it and put together in their shein and zara clothes, I don't think anyone's looking twice

Trademark

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:03 am

Another point for some people time is money. If I need some everyday tops yes I can go to Marshalls but if I need a nice tznius shabbos dress it's sometimes easier to go into a Jewish store and just buy one instead of running around or spending a lot of time on shein and then only having to spend more time and money on alterations.

Last year I needed a coat ASAP because my old one didn't fit and it was already the beginning of winter. I happened to be next to a closeout store so I went in. I found a coat for around $200. I was in and out in a few minutes. The next day I needed a coat so I was happy I found one so easily.

It would take so much time and energy to look for something else to save up to $100. Often if you can afford it it's worth saving time and energy.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:48 am

amother Stoneblue wrote:

I think our generation is lost. There is no connection to yiddishkeit. Everything is done by rote, everyone just wants to make sure they are following “the rules” because gd forbid you do otherwise. The internal is missing. The love for Hashem and his Torah is missing. So everyone is turning outward to external narishkeit like clothing brands. It doesn’t help that Jewish magazines are compliant in this, too. I’ve since stopped buying them because the amount of ads was insane. Overconsumption and ostentatious displays of wealth (or fake wealth) are gross, but it speaks to how lost so many frum yidden are. Who exactly are you trying to impress putting your baby in a designer outfit? Hashem does not care.

I think it starts the other way around

the community did not accept people that didnt dress or act a certain way. the community only accepted people that fit a certain image. so therefore people changed to be accepted.

ectomorph

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:59 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

It's not only clothing.

There's this drive to have the absolute perfect best which 1) isn't always the same for everyone and 2) very good might be excellent enough.

Strollers for example: which has the absolute best push? I'm telling you an excellent push that's 95/100 will be totally fine and you don't need to spend hundreds of dollars more to get 100/100 (and also maybe lose other features that might be on a "lesser" stroller)
There's this fear that you might not get the perfect one and then maybe you're a failure... Because your kindergarten kid had last year's backpack in brand.

Chill, everyone. Relax. Very good is great!

My toddler ruins his clothing left and right. I'm so glad he used permanent marker on a $5 Target shirt and not the $70 matching with siblings frum brand option that if he ruined would ruin by default his siblings' opportunities for wearing their $70 accompanying piece.

ETA: in case it wasn't clear, I don't buy $70 articles of clothing, even for my teenagers except boys' suits as needed.
And my toddler doesn't need to match siblings. We're happy with clothing that my kids pick out on their own and want to wear on any given day. I have no interest in trying to match a boy with sisters.

I agree 100%.

It's a pity that so many resources are wasted on this.

amother

Strawberry

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 10:17 am

Trademark wrote:

Agree that time is money

I hate shopping and could not care less about styles and trends. But I buy my kids' shoes in the Jewish stores that charge 90-125 a pair. I go first thing in the morning when they open and I'm in and out in less than 20 minutes. They do an amazing job fitting the shoes, and without fail their shoes always last an entire school year from Sept to June.

The alternative is for me to spend hours online browsing the options (I'm very bad at online shopping). Then try on a million pair and try to figure out which one fits best. Then spend more time processing returns, printing labels, and packaging. Then spend more time driving around dropping off the packages. And without fail, every time I buy online they never end up fitting right and they fall apart in 3-4 months and I gotta do the whole thing over again.

People are usually surprised when they hear I buy shoes in the jewish stores because in general I'm a real cheapskate and never spend a penny extra on anything. But in this case I really find it's kedai.

amother

Obsidian

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 10:19 am

For those saying 400$ for a coat is crazy- the 80$ Zara coats don’t look good after a few months. The lands end are not fashionable enough for me. I walk everywhere and I’m on the thin side I freeze when it’s 40 degrees out. You bet I’m getting a mackage coat to protect myself from the elements. I tried the Sam coats the smallest size was huge on me. I don’t believe in moncler they’re not warm enough for the price tag. Over 12 years ago I was already wearing mackage before people knew what it was. Back then there was no obvious label but people were still stopping me in the street asking me where my down jacket was from. The mackage coat I have now currently has no M label on - that’s how old it is - worth every penny.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 10:20 am

amother Strawberry wrote:

Interesting...my kids shoes from jewish stores don't last all year

pause

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 11:37 am

amother Begonia wrote:

Umm... what???