B/G twins and upsherin

tovarena

Sun, Aug 10 2008, 10:27 pm

We're in the midst of planning M&M's 1st birthday (I can't believe it's almost here!). And it came up that we were thinking about things like DS's upsherin. And then I started wondering, what do you all do for your dd when ds has his upsherin? If the girl was either older or younger, I can see it would not be a big deal. But the exact same age and used to having their celebrations together? Has anyone done something equivalent but different for dd? Do you have a separate birthday party just for her? We LOVE the symbolism of the ceremony surrounding the upsherin (the first "official" learning, and getting to wear tzitzis to symbolize being a big boy) and would love to find some sort of parallel event for her. But we also don't want to seem like a bunch of weirdos, y'know? What are your experiences?

Last edited by tovarena on Sun, Aug 10 2008, 10:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

Tefila

Mon, Aug 11 2008, 12:18 am

We made a big to do for both of them. For our son that day we celebrated his upshern with a talis and all for our daughter that day we gave her , her own candlestick and explained the idea of girls over three lighting shabbos candles.
She felt so special . Funny thing was she too wanted her haircut when her brother got his so we did but obviously not so short. Also when my husband got my son to lick the ALeph beis letters on the cake he got her to do it too they both said torah tziva and shma. Together one started the other finished , no it wasn't planned that way that is just how it materialised Smile

tovarena

Mon, Aug 11 2008, 11:11 am

Pineapple wrote:

tovarena you still have time for that

I know. It's just something that we've both been curious about. And since, for all we know, these may be the only two children we'll ever have (we have IF and I'm not that far off from 40), we try to make each and every celebration something special and memorable. And since I don't know any b/g twins where the boy is getting an upsherin, it's just something that's had me really thinking.

Tefilla, I really like your idea. Did you have your daughter light from that point on? 2 candles? That especially interests me since I received a pair of candlesticks for my 6th birthday from my grandmother and have lit ever since. Also, did you put out invitations for the upsherin and if so, how did you word them? Did you make it clear that there was a celebration for both kids?

Raisin

Mon, Aug 11 2008, 11:17 am

tovarena wrote:

Pineapple wrote:

tovarena you still have time for that

the chabad minhag is for girls to light 1 candle from 3 years old.

imokay

Mon, Aug 11 2008, 12:10 pm

by my twins, we made them a joint party. we got my dd pierced ears, and her own cake and we said the party was for both of them. my ds got his tzitizis and yarmulka, and got his hair cut and she was in charge of giving the scissors the various relatives.
they r so used to doing everyhting together that I felt that I couldnt make a party fpr just one of them- she wud be too young to understand that they have dif. roles in the jewish world, etc.

micki

Mon, Aug 11 2008, 12:23 pm

I have been to many candle lit bday parties- they invite a few special friends to a friday night meal where the guests come before time to light candles. then the little girl lights for the first time in front of family and guests then sit down to a meal/party after shul.
at 3 a girl lights 1 candle

greenfire

Mon, Aug 11 2008, 12:33 pm

yeah make her part of it ... some people start wearing dresses only at 3 so you can get a special dress ... or if they light candles ... but saying alef beis and making them both part of the mitzva is kool ... I like the haircut idea for the girly too (trim) anything that makes her feel special and not left out ...

sympa

Tue, Dec 09 2008, 5:26 am

I once heard about a joint 3-yr upsherin/birthday party like this: Every time the boy's hair got snipped by someone at the "upsherin", that person added a sticker to his twin sister for her "birthday" - she was a very happy, sticker-covered little 3-yr-old

Last edited by sympa on Mon, Dec 19 2011, 6:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

HooRYou

Tue, Dec 09 2008, 5:35 am

My friend w/ b/g twins made a special dress party for her DD when her DS got his upsherin. Besides the cake and treats she got 3 new dresses and everyone talked about how big she was and that she was getting to do the mitzvah of not wearing pants anymore.