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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
OP
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 Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:17 pm
Curious what you think the right thing is to do here. There is a group of volunteers who have a group chat. Sometimes it has announcements about the work but mostly it’s a community and a circle of friends. It’s not a sensitive project so no private information is dealt with at any point. You say you need to take a short break from the job you have a lot going on. Officially you can take a month or two off. You end up taking 3 months but you checked in after 2 and said you can’t do it yet. They said don’t worry we have many volunteers now it’s no issue. 2 weeks later you are suddenly removed from the group chat. I’ve been part of it for 2 years.
Head of the chat said multiple times it’s ok to take long breaks no pressure, we are all team, there is no minimum requirement. Do you think you should have been told before being removed? Do you think you should have been give the choice to do the work or be removed? Do you think it’s fair to remove you when others have taken even longer breaks and stayed on only because they are from the founding members?
Now I feel stupid and confused. And it’s doubtful I’ll ask to be added back and volunteer again.
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LittleDucky
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:31 pm
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Is there a way for you to message one of the administrators? Explain that you were surprised to be kicked off the chat as you had informed them you were taking a short break and plan to return. Maybe they thought you were done and not returning?
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amother
Goldenrod
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:33 pm
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It does really matter how it should have been dealt with. All you can do is deal with the situation at hand.
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tweety1
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:35 pm
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Is it possible that somebody else other the head of the chat reov3d you from the chat?
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amother
OP
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:35 pm
| LittleDucky wrote: | | Is there a way for you to message one of the administrators? Explain that you were surprised to be kicked off the chat as you had informed them you were taking a short break and plan to return. Maybe they thought you were done and not returning? |
It was clear that it wasn’t final. Should they have not clarified? The two weeks before was told it’s totally fine no mention of being kicked off
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groovy1224
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:36 pm
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The chat admin might have thought they were doing you a favor by removing you from a chat that wasn't relevant to you right now. Just message him/her and talk about it.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:37 pm
| tweety1 wrote: | | Is it possible that somebody else other the head of the chat reov3d you from the chat? |
No it says name of the person I discussed it with, removed you from the chat.
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LittleDucky
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:50 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | It was clear that it wasn’t final. Should they have not clarified? The two weeks before was told it’s totally fine no mention of being kicked off |
You can't change their reaction, what they should have done etc- you can only decide how you want to handle what was already done.
Do you want to be on the chat?
Do you want to participate in this chessed?
How long before you aim to restart?
For instance, if it was "a driving people to appointments" chessed group and your car is in the shop and taking longer than expected- you can say that and you will rejoin when you have a car.
Could it have been purely by accident?
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amother
Hyacinth
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 3:10 pm
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amother
OP
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 3:15 pm
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It’s on a platform that is hard to remove by accident. I don’t know if I feel comfortable saying anything. I also don’t have a date of return so it’s awkward.
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amother
Hibiscus
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 3:39 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | It’s on a platform that is hard to remove by accident. I don’t know if I feel comfortable saying anything. I also don’t have a date of return so it’s awkward. |
So don't take it personally.
When you're ready to return, asked to be put back on.
It's probably better for you to stop getting messages that are not relevant to you!
Maybe she thought she was doing you a favor by taking you out?
You can also text her privately if you're offended.
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amother
Lightcoral
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Fri, Feb 09 2024, 3:54 pm
I don't know how it should have been dealt with, but I do know how it should be dealt with going forward. You should communicate.
Talk to the admin. Tell her how you feel. Ask her what's going on? Listen to what she thinks or feels. Have a proper conversation. (If you can't have a conversation, THIS is the time to use voice notes.)
What happened so far was a lack of communication. Clear communication can probably fix this.
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amother
Turquoise
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Sat, Feb 10 2024, 4:03 pm
If it's not a regular watsapp group, maybe it costs them each time to send out a message, and they're trying to keep their costs down, so they remove people if it isn't relevant for them.
I know the company I work for used to use an online text message service and it cost them for every text sent out. And they were always checking the groups and the lists to ensure only the people that needed to know were sent the message.
I get it isn't very nice that you were removed from the group, but if you aren't planning to do the volunteering anytime soon, then what gain is there being on the group?
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amother
Charcoal
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Sat, Feb 10 2024, 6:12 pm
| amother Turquoise wrote: | If it's not a regular watsapp group, maybe it costs them each time to send out a message, and they're trying to keep their costs down, so they remove people if it isn't relevant for them.
I know the company I work for used to use an online text message service and it cost them for every text sent out. And they were always checking the groups and the lists to ensure only the people that needed to know were sent the message.
I get it isn't very nice that you were removed from the group, but if you aren't planning to do the volunteering anytime soon, then what gain is there being on the group? |
Posting on a whatsapp group is not like sending an SMS to each number. It's one post to the entire group.
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amother
Turquoise
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Sat, Feb 10 2024, 6:33 pm
| amother Charcoal wrote: | | Posting on a whatsapp group is not like sending an SMS to each number. It's one post to the entire group. |
The way she put it was as if it wasn't a regular watsapp group, which is why I suggested it could be something like that.
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choco1
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Sat, Feb 10 2024, 6:39 pm
Very similar thing happened to me...
Either way, I would PM the admin and ask her... sometimes they want to keep these groups focused and if ppl aren't active they want them off... doesn't mean you can't be added back later when you are ready to work on whatever it is the chat is doing.. good luck!
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amother
OP
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Sat, Feb 10 2024, 7:14 pm
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It’s free no cost to send messages.
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