Call me a mean mommy but I was at my wits end

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:07 pm

With my 3yo tonight. How many times can I have patience for her when she keeps getting out of bed. I gently twisted her arm and told her I'll have to do it again if she gets out of bed. It worked. I tried everything else nothing worked

amother

Cyan

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:10 pm

Absolutely abusive. Your daughter will be in therapy when she is older.
Please do yourself a favor and get yourself or your child to therapy.
The last thing she needs is you getting upset because she feels scared. She’s coming to you so much bc you are her comfort.
You need to state her feeling. “You are worried now.. what can I do to make you feel safe without coming out of the room?”

I’m horrified.

amother

Peru

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course it worked, she was terrified of her mother hurting her!
Does not sound ok to me!

amother

Eggplant

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is downright abuse. Regardless of how gently you think you did it. Absolutely unacceptable. Get a grip & get help before you hurt your children even more.
Poor child. She's behaving her age & gets her arm twisted by her mother for that!!
And please go on BC till you get help for yourself.

amother

Aster

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:13 pm

Bullying definitely works if the goal is to intimidate, terrify, and scar your child. Please get yourself help.

giselle

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:13 pm

Did you post this to absolve yourself of guilt? Because I’m pretty sure the responses will go the other way…

amother

Latte

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:13 pm

You sound very overwhelmed.

I suggest taking time to think about what would need to happen to put you in a better place.

When you feel like that with your child its best to step away from the situation.

It's really not good what happened.

amother

Peru

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:14 pm

amother Cyan wrote:

I’m crying for this child.

Same here!! I have a child that age and thinking about doing such a thing makes me shudder!!

imasinger

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:14 pm

Let's see if we can offer you better solutions than that.

Hurting a child, even "gently" might win you this battle tonight, but it will lose you so incredibly much more in the long term.

Tell us a little about structure, rewards, and consequences in your parenting. We'll help you out. And most of us really understand the frustration of That Kid who just won't stay in bed. You're not alone in feeling it up to here.

amother

Eggplant

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:14 pm

How did you even come up with the idea to twist her arm???? Who does that???
What other abusive things do you do to your children?

amother

Hyssop

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:15 pm

imasinger wrote:

imasinger always has wise answers! wish u could meet u in real life. I'm sure I would gain so much TMI

amother

Cyan

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm

I hope you get the help you need. You are sick. I’m shaking.

amother

Eggplant

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm

imasinger wrote:

This needs professional help. Not imamother help.

amother

Linen

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm

OP I'd get off imamother for the rest of the night and never open up this thread again.

It won't be pretty

CPenzias

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm

I'm sorry op. Your daughter will be forgiving in the morning iyh.
Maybe work on an incentive chart. If she comes out only one or 2 times she earns a sticker. X number of stickers earns a prize

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm

She has a normal bedtime consisting of a book, shema, kiss, tucked in and a cd to listen to. She has a weighted blanket which doesn't even help. She gets right back out of bed and runs around wild until I send her back to bed. She does it as a game. Idk what else to do. She doesn't understand the concept of a reward chart.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:17 pm

Voice of dissent here.
It’s never ok to hurt a child. You need to figure out other methods.
BUT, it is in the realm of normal. NOT OK, but most parents do end up using light physical force with their children.

Yes, you were at your wits end. You were triggered. You were exhausted.

You also know it was NOT the right thing to do.

But for people to tell you they’ve never ever ever used physical force or manipulation on their kids is probably not true…