Is this rude? | Imamother

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:14 pm

Is it rude to ask a neighbour what hechsher she buys when borrowing produce?
Talking about in Israel, where produce have issues of terumus and massrus.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:16 pm

I think it is. If you are asking to borrow something, as in, you dont have something you need and you are asking her to borrow it, then dont ask. I think its very rude.
But I am sure ou will get other answers saying the opposite.

groovy1224

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:17 pm

Not rude per say, but I would probably go about it by specifying when asking - I.e. do you have any lettuce with ____ hechser?

Asking after the fact is a little awkward. But I don't think it's necessarily rude.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:20 pm

Yes, asking straight up is to blunt.
And I would see it as rude.
Since, you'll be judging me being holy enough to lend you an onion.
There's got to be another, subtler way for you to find out.

amother

RosePink

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:20 pm

Just say it’s something you’re makpid on typically only borrow or eat at places we trust if it’s an emergency need to borrow feel comfortable being honest in a nice way

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:26 pm

I wouldn't ask open-ended, more 'we only eat badatz fruit & veg, just wanted to check before borrowing'.

I live in a charedi area and eat all the charedi hechsherim so there wouldn't be anything my neighbors are buying that would be a problem - all the stores in our area would be only badatz, efrati, rubin etc.

If you only eat one specific hechsher just say so outright. I don't see anything wrong with that.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:30 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I don't find it rude. In communities where it's common for people to be makpid with certain hechsherim, I think this is an acceptable question. We all know that some people are more makpid than others, I don't consider them 'holier-than-thou'.

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:34 pm

What would be a more polite way of finding out?
I'm in Jerusalem, they sell every hechsher.

salt

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:15 am

amother OP wrote:

What would be a more polite way of finding out?
I'm in Jerusalem, they sell every hechsher.

As poster groovy1224 suggests above
ask something like this:
"Do you have any tomatoes with badatz/ mehadrin hechsher that I can borrow? I'll return you some by tomorrow evening bli neder"

Don't wait for her to give you, and then say "oh thanks, is it mehadrin?"

And if you're talking about borrowing fruit or vegetables - you can always borrow what you need, and separate terumot and maasrot by yourself without a bracha, if you want to be specially careful.

BatyaEsther

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:18 am

salt wrote:

This

amother

Raspberry

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 3:54 am

I don’t think it’s rude. If I had to borrow from a neighbor I’d probably ask someone who I trust. If that doesn’t work I’d post on neighborhood chat if anyone has any eidah chareidis potatoes, onions, etc. just like if I was in chul and ran out of CY cheese or whatever. No reason for anyone to get offended or insulted.