If you live in a small apartment

amother

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 2:30 pm

How do you cope? I'm miserable in the apartment. I need space. I feel claustrophobic during meal times with everyone cramped into the kitchen. I am someone who needs space. I am a fun happy person and I feel this is changing my essence. WHat can I do??

amother

Brickred

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 2:52 pm

I'm good with it.
Dh is not. He wants to move. Desperately.

The kitchen is hardest, but it is not that tiny.

I do laundry once a week and it is all over but then it is over for the rest of the week.
I do do a dark load at the end of the week but keep it small.

I don't storage kids clothes, because I don't have where to. I give away and buy cheap.
I tried to organize one closet for toys and the rest are in the corner of the dining room.

I have very tall closets, my maternity clothes and pesach things are up there.

My kids are still little. I can see bigger kids and homework and private space becoming an issue.

Oh and I have a big freezer if you saw the other thread.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 2:56 pm

I dont cope. I hate it. Desperate desperate to move out, but literally can't afford to buy anything where I live.
We are certainly looking into other communities. But that comes w it's own set of challenges, mostly getting our kids accepted into schools....sigh

amother

Celeste

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 2:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

We moved out of the city. Our small apartment wasn't good for anyone's mental health.

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 3:33 pm

It's an unnatural way to raise a family. That's why you're miserable.
We lived like that for years until we were able to afford to buy something in a different area.
While you're here in this apartment, find ways to make it easier on yourself. Even if it's not so pretty.
Iyh you'll be able to move to a more spacious place.

amother

Apple

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 3:59 pm

I wish we could move to a smaller community but due to medical issues we need a place where you don't need to drive whenever you want to go anywhere.
I sometimes can't drive and DH can't drive at all

Space wise we have a large DR and a big backyard. Tiny kitchen (no table) 2 small bedrooms (with a bunch of kids in one). A little storage but not much.
I got rid of my kids dressers and started using cubbies (it saves tons of space - I need more but no room)
I used to have a corner for stuff but did a lot of decluttering.
DH started storing stuff in our stairway/walkway (which is a lifesaver but annoying at the same time)

On the brighter side:
- There is much less cleaning to do
- It's easy to find whoever you are looking for
- Easier to watch everyone

amother

Tulip

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 4:03 pm

I live in a tiny apartment. My secret is everything is organized and I don't see clutter. Do you need help organizing? I feel like a small space can look beautiful and cozy if everything has its place. With kids it's very hard, I have little ones and I know it!

Chasidishlitvak

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 4:58 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

I learnt to throq out kids projects very fast (ecxcept projects with pictures)
Don't buy stuff you don't have room for (very hard sometimes)

I am still struggling to get rid of things I bought and now feel terrible getting rid of (DH/ begged me not to buy them and wants me to give them away now that I have them)

amother

Catmint

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:15 pm

Instead of feeling down and miserable come visit me. I promise you you will see a home smaller than yours with less,square footage per person than possible. You'll go home with a smile on your face and a skip in your walk. My table may be small but there will be plenty of room to serve you coffee and cake.

amother

Hunter

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:49 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

I felt like you until my kids started getting bigger. When they get older and physically bigger there’s no space left to breathe or simply hang out.

amother

Catmint

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:56 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

I felt like you until my kids started getting bigger. When they get older and physically bigger there’s no space left to breathe or simply hang out.

Did I say how old ny children are?
I think I'll give my self away describing tge height of my teens! (Not short) Very Happy

amother

Tulip

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 9:54 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

I felt like you until my kids started getting bigger. When they get older and physically bigger there’s no space left to breathe or simply hang out.

I have teens too! But they are more organized than the little kids. The teens know what is their space and if there's not enough they'll throw things out. For the little kids my solution was a closet with shelves for all toys and inside separating them in transparent labeled boxes. Bigger toys go in a large bin (that is closed so you can't see clutter).

amother

Banana

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 10:06 pm

Very difficult because the kids need space and there’s no way to make that.
But one thing I always regretted was that we didn’t buy furniture that fit the space and I think that would make a huge difference. We had a huge clunky leather recliner couch for years and right before we moved we got a new velvet couch that was much sleeker and I was so upset we didn’t get it earlier. So aside from decluttering it’s worth it to buy new furniture that more efficiently uses the space.
Another idea is to eat meals in the dining room to avoid the claustrophobic feeling.
And really to just keep clearing surfaces and sweeping floors because any mess turns into a real overwhelming situation.
But at the end of the day it is really really challenging.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 10:20 pm

I live in what I call a dollhouse. There is no space for a couple to be in the house during those days. Now add the kids in one by one.
But we’re happy becuase we call it our bungalow. The paint is peeling, the rain comes in at the window, the ac doesn’t work properly, but would you feel bad if this happened in your bungalow? No, you would likely move on and say next year in a better bungalow.
And that’s what we say here. Next house will be bigger and better.
Must add that it doesn’t look like we will be moving within the next 2 years or less. Hoping we will be able to after that. But only hashem knows.

amother

Moonstone

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 10:41 pm

I hear you loud and clear. My husband comes home from work as if he is coming to jail. The kids stuff is all over the dining room table . the washing machine is in the kitchen right across the oven. Laundry is a disaster. The hamper is in the kitchen during laundry days and the clean laundry I put in a garbage bag so I can move it over to the couch to fold when the kids are sleeping. I used to throw out stuff but guess what when I needed them I didnt have the money or any one to borrow from such as the baby walker. Yes, I brought two different personal organizers and my stuff is neat but at the end of the day a living frum human being needs stuff. And if you may wonder why do I subject myself to this, My parents have no one but me and my children who brighten their difficult days. I go through this every summer , should I move ? Be alone and with no job in a new place ? Or stay and at least have a little family support of whatever my parents are able to help out with and a secure job? I cant afford anyything where I live in brooklyn. It most certainly affects my sholom BAyis. I tried speaking to a RAv he says every week he has yungeleit who ask him this question to stay or go. For him its not an issue. He has a big house with plenty of room etc etc. At least he was honest. Its very hard. The kids play in the building hallway we go to the local library when the cleaning lady comes so there isnt too many people in one place.