Should I say something about kids punishment

amother

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 10:59 am

I went to my son’s kdg classroom to give him his meds.
When I was there I noticed two kids punished by their cubbies, one was turned into it all the way and the other stood near his sulking.

It broke my heart. I know it’s a very difficult class and I have heard from one mother that she spoke to the principal because it didn’t sound right to her that her son was getting punished this way.

My question is- is it my place to call the principal and say something in a nice way?
Am I off for thinking that this isn’t the way we treat children any more?

amother

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:03 am

ShishKabob wrote:

I'm not sure why this is wrong. It’s like time out near the cubby. The one in his cubby probably went in there himself.

Ok could be I’m too full of pity.
U don’t think it kills the kids self esteem to be punished that way?

ShishKabob

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok could be I’m too full of pity.
U don’t think it kills the kids self esteem to be punished that way?

Not really, but I also don't know what they did that warranted this. You can't judge a situation from seeing just one part of it, that's how I see it.
Why don't you ask your child what happened?

amother

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:12 am

ShishKabob wrote:

Not really, but I also don't know what they did that warranted this. You can't judge a situation from seeing just one part of it, that's how I see it.
Why don't you ask your child what happened?

Good idea. I’ll do that

mha3484

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:19 am

How your kids school does discipline is definitely a conversation you can have with the principal. These were questions we asked when we had our interview but I understand not all schools work that way. Some your lucky to get in anywhere. I would not make it about the situation you saw but you can definitely ask questions about what methods they use etc.

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:22 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok could be I’m too full of pity.
U don’t think it kills the kids self esteem to be punished that way?

You can't know what the kid did. He might be a bully & hurt other kids & needed to be removed from the situation. There's nothing wrong with that.

amother

Wine

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:56 pm

Time out is often more than just a punishment. A kid acting out or fighting needs a few minutes to be removed from the situation/moment to calm down and often asked to think about their behavior and what they think they can do instead next time.

What would you do if a kid was acting crazy/wild during circle time? Or hitting a friend? Or grabbing a toy? Or spitting on the floor? Or smashing food on the floor? A one time thing can usually be ignored or reminded to behave, but not if it's frequent behavior. How would you discipline the above scenarios?

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:00 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

I'm not sure why this is wrong. Its like time out near the cubby. The one in his cubby probably went in there himself.

Time out is a very old school way to discipline and was found to be damaging to kids especially in front of other students.

ShishKabob

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:03 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Time out is a very old school way to discipline and was found to be damaging to kids especially in front of other students.

Um, can you please share what kind of discipline has been found to be effective?

I know of a very modern thinking school that is not old school at all that practices this. This has been very effective in removing a bully or danger from the other students and has also given the aggressor time to cool off and to regulate their emotions. When they are ready to come back and are not a threat to other peers, they are more than welcome to return.

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:07 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Time out is a very old school way to discipline and was found to be damaging to kids especially in front of other students.

Can you back this up by some source? Because I don't think it's true. It doesn't damage children, it helps them calm down.
Sometimes, children need a time out for their own sake. They need to be removed from the situation & be alone to calm down.
And what other method of discipline do you suggest for a child that's disruptive, hurts others, is a bully...?

amother

Lime

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok could be I’m too full of pity.
U don’t think it kills the kids self esteem to be punished that way?

How else should the teacher discipline?

Children need to learn that it's not okay to do certain things.

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:10 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

Yes this is different than having a child sit in their room punished by their cubby.
It’s different to say you need time alone (maybe a corner with calming down stuff), as opposed to you are punished don’t leave your cubby.
That just makes them more upset. A child can’t regulate emotions being banished to their cubby because they were bad

A child can regulate emotions when they’re sent to the calming corner so they have time to reset…

Very different

amother

Lime

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:12 pm

It's important for children to learn about the concept of consequences. A teacher makes it clear that there is a certain expectation that needs to be upheld in the classroom and if the child goes against that expectation there will be a consequence.

I taught middle school girls. We go through the classroom rules together. They know exactly what is appropriate and what is crossing a line. If I student steps over a certain boundary more than once, I will ask them to leave the classroom. Asking them to take a break is not personal. Their embarrassment is on them.

mha3484

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:13 pm

I don't know what age we are referring to where I live Kindergarten is the same as pre1a but a lot of places its the year before? We call that year nursery. So I assume we are talking kids in the 4-6 year old range?

My kids nursery moros use a lot of redirection, a lot of modeling and when a child cant be with others for whatever reason they take them to a different room to calm down. I think the orientation hand out called it positive discipline. For pre1a if that what we mean, they do a lot of the same.

Cheiny

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you yourself acknowledge it’s a difficult class, what seems so terrible to you about them being asked to stand near their cubbies? If they were hit, that would be a cause for concern.

How would you propose the teacher get control of the class?

ShishKabob

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:15 pm

amother Lime wrote:

I'm going to be very unpopular here, however, I also believe that there's something good to feeling embarrassment when you do something wrong. This can and should prevent you from doing the same wrong thing again.

I'm not saying that it's ok to embarrass someone, it's not, it's like killing them, so please don't twist my words.

Cheiny

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok could be I’m too full of pity.
U don’t think it kills the kids self esteem to be punished that way?

Teaching children about rules and proper behavior, and receiving proper consequences for breaking them, doesn’t kill self esteem.

Cheiny

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:33 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

It’s not at all about embarrassing somebody. It’s about discipline, consequences for negative behavior, and the class seeing that improper behavior does not go unanswered.

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 2:19 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

What makes you think that the teacher said this?
And it's perfectly fine to tell a kid that because they're hurting others, they can't be with the other kids & have to go to the cubbies for a little bit.