NY/NJ for OOTner | Imamother

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 9:58 pm

So my husband's job may require relocation to NY.
But I am 100% and out of towner. Seriously love open space, green grass, quiet, not having to keep up with what's in style or latest fads... I hate hustle and bustle of big city life. I hate crime, homelessness...

My dream was to move away from our midsized community to something smaller. We are RWMO, independent thinkers...

definitely not Lakewood type.

Is there anywhere in the NY or NJ area that would work for us?
Bonus if affordable. We need schools and a shul. Don't need a million options for everything, we don't go out to eat much either even though we live in a city now with lots of options..

Freaking out a bit.

amother

Honeydew

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:03 pm

You need to define "affordable." What's affordable for a doctor and a lawyer with three kids is not affordable for a part-time teacher and a sahm with seven, kwim?

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:05 pm

OK, maybe we aren't RWMO. Not sure what to categorize ourselves. Not Tzioni but not Lakewood? JPF?
We don't let our kids read or get exposed to everything but don't just force frum books on them.

I fully cover hair and arms/ legs, my daughter wears knee socks...

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:08 pm

I guess please focus on the OOT part? I can't live in a city. Definitely not Brooklyn. I spent time there as a single and hated the drab concrete jungle...

amother

Snowflake

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:08 pm

Sounds like Passaic/Clifton.

You can definitely find a house with a nice backyard. No traffic. Most rates are pretty quiet. No issues with school acceptance. Mainly JPF, a lot of BT and not quite boxy people.

Won't pretend the styles are out of town, but still relatively good for New York area. In terms of things like people dressing their kids in carters and going to the store in a tichel.

Also, if you're relocating for a job, I assume it's for Manhattan? In which case Passaic Clifton offers one of the shorter commutes.

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:11 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

Sounds like Passaic/Clifton.

What's that like? Never went there before..
Schools?
What's the crime like?

Can you give a zip code for Zillow?

amother

Snowflake

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

What's that like? Never went there before..
Schools?
What's the crime like?

Can you give a zip code for Zillow?

I edited my post above. Check that out.

07055 -specifically Passaic Park. Clifton is around Passaic so you're looking for the few blocks outside of Passaic. Those are also within the eruv.

Three schools. From slightly to the left JPF to yeshivisb/ JPF, and the third is smaller. Like OOT communities, boys and girls schools are under the same management.

Crime depends on the neighborhood. In general is very little.

amother

Chartreuse

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:16 pm

Passaic is 07055
Mainstream passaic schools are yeshiva ketana (boys) and bnos bracha (girls). Alternative schools within the community are YBH the Clifton Cheder/Bais Yaakov.

Overall pretty safe to let your kids walk around etc but there are intermittent episodes of car thefts etc.

amother

Lightgreen

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:22 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

No issues with school acceptance even for boys’ high school?

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:26 pm

Thank you all!
Yeah, I like to shop in a tichel and my kids wear carter's, target, children's place... as my daughter gets older it is harder to find long enough skirts but I definitely don't shop like people I know in Brooklyn/Lakewood/Monsey where babies are in $100 sets and toddlers have clothing only from frum boutiques... I used a Graco stroller (or a Snap N Go the other trip) there and got stares. The worst was when I used a carrier in Brooklyn. You would think I sprouted a 3rd eye or an extra ear!

Husband is a BT, I am OOT FFB. We want our kids to have good solid education. My kids' current school (boys and girls under 1 admin/school name but separate classes like many OOT schools) gives a quality education in secular and Kodesh. Do the schools offer that? BH one of my bogs is super smart. Likes reading books several grades above his age.

amother

Snowflake

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:26 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

No issues with school acceptance even for boys’ high school?

No. Boys high schools are more complicated since the local mesivtas take a large amount of boys from out of town. In general, Passaic boys have a good reputation. Obviously it will depend on individual boy and his skills etc.

The elementary schools and the girls high schools only service locals. And I'm not saying it's perfect, but it's not at all like the big in town communities. Parents usually pick the schools, not the other way around.

amother

cornflower

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

From your description YBH sounds like a really good fit. Excellent education in both kodesh and chol - more of an OOT feel.

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:38 pm

Can someone explain the differences in the schools? What makes one "alternative"?

And what is the issue with high schools for boys? Do Passaic boys not get automatically accepted? Will they not have a place to go to? One boy of mine will be in high school in a couple of years...

amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 10:43 pm

amother Snow wrote:

Fair lawn
Highland park/Edison

Where exactly will the job be located ?

Fairlawn is too modern for us. I visited a family member there in the past. I was clearly the most frum person there besides the Rebetzin. I have no problem with that and have many friends like that now in my current city. I just don't want to be the "frummest". Not sure if I am making sense, it's been a long Shabbos 🫠

What is Highland park/ Edison like?

amother

Snowflake

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 11:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

YKP is the largest school by a lot, so that makes it the default for most people. Both of the other schools are excellent places too.

Many Passaic boys go local for high school and many go out of town. In general, Mesivtas are much less a one size fits all approach then girls high schools.